VALERIE
The ride to the Lanchester Mansion was tense and awkward as Reed and I barely looked at the other, settling into a long and deafening silence.
Our honeymoon had been cut short due to Reed's company obligations, courtesy of Stephan's call two days after the restaurant incident. Two days of me shutting Reed out, hence our gradually deteriorating relationship.
The night after Reed had comforted me, one would've thought everything would've been fine the next day. We would start talking and we'll do dive right back into the honeymoon spirit but...
The memories I'd suppressed had resurfaced, ensnaring me in its grip. I was breaking, falling apart, and I couldn't bring myself to confide in Reed about the horrors of my past.
I was afraid. I couldn't trust him yet. That was a lie. I trusted Reed but I couldn't tell him. What if he blamed me for everything like dad did? What if he...
I brushed off my thoughts not wanting to delve into my insecurities at the moment. It was bad enough that I had a migraine. I didn't need to be emotionally drained too.
As I continued to stare out the window, I thought of my little family. I missed them so much. I couldn't wait to be back home.
**********
“Valerie.”
Reed's voice broke the silence, his eyes locking onto mine. My heart skipped a beat at his handsome face, and I yearned for his touch.
And I knew he did too. I saw it in his eyes, in the way he looked at me yet he didn't do anything because I'd closed off on him, rejecting his touch, his warmth, even as I craved it.
I'd caused this. I'd done this. I'd built up a wall so impenetrable it kept him away. A wave of pain slammed into me so hard, and for a moment I couldn't breathe.
Reed had revealed a part of himself he'd never let anyone see. That made me feel special, wanted. But I just had to ruin it all because I let my fears come between us and that tore at my heart like nothing else.
“What is it?” He asked and though he'd put on that mask of indifference, his gaze held deep concern.
I shook my head, feeling a lump form in my throat. If only he knew the depth of my fears, the weight of my secrets.
“We’re here.” He said and I couldn't help but note the way he sounded detached, reminiscent of our pre-honeymoon interactions.
He stepped out, offering his hand to help me out. At the contact, tingles shot up my arm, my skin burning against his touch.
Our eyes met, the connection palpable.
As I stepped out of the car, Reed's hand lingered on mine, sending shivers down my spine. I felt a pang of regret for pushing him away, for not being able to open up to him. His eyes seemed to search for answers, but I looked away, unable to meet his gaze.
The Lanchester Mansion loomed before us, its grandeur and beauty a stark contrast to the turmoil within me. Reed's grip on my hand tightened, and I knew he sensed my unease.
As we entered the mansion, Reed's hand remained on mine, a constant reminder of his presence, his support. But I couldn't shake off the feeling of being alone, of being trapped in my own private hell.
“Reed!”
My head snapped to the stairs and saw a blonde woman running straight at us. Reed's grip tightened on my hand before she threw herself at him, his hand leaving mine.
My heart clenched painfully as I watched the woman cling to him. I had a sudden urge to jerk her away from him. Their close proximity unnerved me.
“Let go, Sinobelle.” Reed stated coldly. It pleased me to know she wasn't special to him. He treated her like everyone else.
The girl detached herself, giggling awkwardly. She trained golden brown eyes on me and I felt an instant dislike for her. And that was so unlike me.
I groaned inwardly. Did they have to have the same features? The woman's blonde hair and golden brown eyes were uncannily similar to those of a particularly nasty waitress except this woman's eyes were a deeper, richer shade. The waitress had hazel eyes but the similarity was still striking. And yet, this woman was somehow... prettier.
"Hey, you must be Valerie," Sinobelle said with a warm smile, her thick Australian accent immediately disarming me. She enveloped me in a friendly hug, catching me off guard.
I felt a pang of guilt for having judged her so quickly, solely based on her resemblance to a waitress who had left a sour impression on me.
“You're back!”, Raquel exclaimed as she appeared, her eyes shining with excitement. I'd missed her too, and it felt great to be back.
But when her gaze shifted to Reed, I noticed a moment of hesitation. She clearly wanted to hug him, but seemed uncertain due to his past behaviour.
I glanced at Reed, willing him to make an effort and hug his mother. He caught my eye, then opened his arms to Raquel, who smiled brightly as they embraced. As they pulled back, Raquel gave me a grateful look, leaving me puzzled – I hadn't done anything to warrant it.
“I see you’ve already met Sinobelle.” She said lovingly, her smile lighting up her whole face. I wondered who the pretty blonde was to the Lanchesters especially to Raquel, who seemed to adore her.
Raquel's question cut through the air like a knife: “How was the honeymoon?”, her eyes scanned our faces for signs of bliss.
I froze. The question was a harsh reminder of the painful memories from just two nights ago. As Raquel's question hung in the air, I could almost see the thoughts running through Reed's mind. His eyes narrowed slightly and his jaw clenched as if he was struggling to contain his own emotions.
I wondered what he was thinking, what memories were flooding his mind. Was he reliving the same painful moments that I was? Or was he replaying the moments I'd driven him away, driving us apart?
My mood plummeted and I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. Raquel must've noticed my distress because her expression faltered and she frowned.
“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” She asked softly, her voice laced with concern as her eyes darted to Reed with a hint of accusation.
I wanted to break down in tears, to confess how foolishly I'd let our honeymoon end on a sorrowful note, driving us apart. But my voice caught in my throat and I was mute. I forced a weak smile as I willed myself to not look at Reed. I shook my head, desperate to reassure Raquel and deflect her worry.
Raquel wasn't deterred as she pinned me with a glare. I glanced away because I wouldn't be able to tell her.
“Excuse us.” Reed said as he reached out to take my hand, leading us away from a displeased Raquel and Sinobelle who had watched everything with keen interest.
In the bedroom, Reed led me to the bed and I watched as he went to lean against the door gazing at me with an intense look.
I wished to know the thoughts running through his mind. And why was he standing so far away from me?
“You should rest.” He said butI knew that wasn't what he'd intended to say but I let it be.
I shook my head. I didn't want to rest. I wanted him to tell me about Sinobelle. Somehow, the thought of her bothered me. I wanted to know her relationship with Reed. My mind wouldn't rest till I knew.
“Rest.” He stated, his tone controlling and demanding, one he used on others and it hurt. Him beginning to treat me like everyone else caused me pain.
I missed the Reed back in Santorini. I wished to have him back but that meant letting him in but I wasn't ready.
I glanced away from him before he noticed the tears that blurred my vision. Without a word, I did as he said, and laid on the bed, pulling the covers over my head. I couldn't bear to look at him.
I didn't know how long he stood there or how long I wept silently but I drifted off to sleep with the thought of fixing what I'd broken.
