EaglePen Critique Shop

Client 3

LORAINEJD

Uncovered Cases

Book Cover - 8/10

The background color and font style you used on your book cover are highly effective in conveying the mystery genre of your book. I particularly appreciated how you integrated blood into the font design; this addition adds a compelling touch for a mystery novel. It creates an immediate sense of intrigue and foreboding, setting the right tone before even opening the book.

However, I have some concerns regarding the portrayers you used. There is certainly room for enhancement in this area. To create a more balanced and dynamic effect, it would be better if both characters were looking straight. This alignment would help achieve a sense of symmetry and dynamic, making the overall composition more harmonious. It would also draw the viewer's attention more effectively, as direct gazes can create a stronger connection with the audience. Additionally, the colors used for the characters’ portrayal are not very appealing. They seem to clash with the rest of the design rather than complementing it. A more carefully chosen color scheme could significantly improve the visual appeal of the cover.

Adjusting the lighting and shadows on the characters can add dimension, making them stand out more effectively without clashing with other elements. Lastly, it would be beneficial to refine the details of the characters' portrayals, ensuring they are rendered in a style that aligns with the overall mood and tone of the book. By addressing these aspects, you can create a book cover that not only captures attention but also resonates with the intended audience, making it a strong visual representation of the story.

Plot - 8/10

1.) The story description is in Tagalog, yet it did not hinder me from conveying what to expect in the story. I liked how you piqued the readers' curiosity about Lorraine's life. What will happen to her after her mother and father die? The mystery surrounding Lorraine's journey is a solid start. Your ability to evoke emotions and create anticipation is commendable, ensuring that readers are hooked from the very beginning. The way you have outlined the challenges and trials Lorraine faces adds depth to her character and makes her journey engaging.

2.) The plot is cliché, about solving crimes/cases. We all know this isn't a new concept. If you know ‘AkoSiIbarra,’ a famous writer on Wattpad, you'll recognize that this is a common plot he often uses. However, I like to commend you by giving Lorraine a unique twist. You created your own world. This originality breathes new life into a familiar storyline and sets your work apart from others in the genre. Your ability to transform a common plot into something unique demonstrates your creativity. This blend of familiar and new elements ensures that your story is both comforting in its recognizability and exciting in its originality. Readers will appreciate the familiarity of the crime-solving plot while being captivated by the unique world and fresh perspective you bring to the table.

3.) I have an issue with your narration. I can't feel the difference between Raine and Zane's personalities. I didn't even realize Zane was a male character at first. When I got to Raine's POV, I noticed how similar their actions were. I suggest you focus more on characterization, as this seems to be a weak point for you. You need to put yourself in your characters' shoes to truly understand them. Remember, they have different sexualities, and this should be clearly reflected in their actions and speech. It might help to use distinct mannerisms, speech patterns, and thought processes for each character. This way, even without mentioning their names, readers can immediately identify who is in the scene.