EaglePen Critique Shop

Client 4

MissNerdyGirl20

Chained With Hades

Book Cover - 10/10

The book cover is absolutely beautiful. Did you create this illustration yourself? The play of light and shadows is exceptional and fits perfectly within your chosen genre. Plus, the illustration captures the essence of the title ‘Chained With Hades’ – the artistry is not just technically impressive but also evocative. The lighting on the cover is particularly striking, it creates a sense of mystery. The way the light interacts with the shadows adds dimensions, making the scene come alive.

I literally saw how you understand the genre's visual language.

The relationship between the title and the portrayal on the cover is also noteworthy. You’ve managed to visually represent the core themes of the book, which is not an easy feat. The cover serves as a visual summary, hinting at the story's content and themes without giving too much away. This balance is crucial in making a cover that is both intriguing and informative.

This cover is not just a pretty picture; it’s a powerful marketing tool that will undoubtedly attract readers. It encapsulates the spirit of the story and invites readers to delve into the fantastical world you’ve created.

Plot - 3/10

1.) The story description left me feeling confused and unclear about the narrative focus. Initially, it seemed like the story was solely about Saku, given the attention to his actions and perspective throughout most of the description. However, the sudden mention of 'She' towards the end introduced ambiguity and made it unclear who the main focus of the story is. This shift felt abrupt, disrupting the flow and leaving me uncertain about the roles and importance of each character. By providing more context and establishing clear connections between the characters and the central mystery, the description can become more engaging and comprehensible. Focusing on a cohesive narrative flow will help in capturing the reader's interest and providing a clearer understanding of the story's premise. In short, make it more precise and clear.

2.) The characterization falls short in several areas. Firstly, you did not emphasize the unique traits of each character, making it difficult to connect with them on a deeper level. As a reader, I found it challenging to feel their presence or understand their significance within the story. This lack of depth in character development hindered my ability to invest emotionally in their journeys and experiences. Moreover, the introduction of numerous characters early on in the story added to the confusion. The rapid influx of characters made it hard to keep track of them all, especially since you chose to use Japanese names. Unfortunately, in this case, the sheer number of characters and the unfamiliar names contributed to a sense of disorientation.

Many of the characters seemed unnecessary and could have been removed without affecting the overall plot. Their presence only served to clutter the narrative and distract from the main characters and central storyline. By streamlining the cast and focusing on developing the core characters more thoroughly, you could enhance the story's clarity and impact.

Please introduce your characters gradually. This approach helps in building a connection and avoiding overwhelming the readers.

3.) I found the story confusing, to be honest. The plot is good but the narration had several flaws. The reincarnation aspect of the story was not well executed, making it difficult to follow. Additionally, the pacing of the story is bad, which complicated my reading experience.

One particular issue I noticed was the introduction of Saku's point of view. The writing voice was so similar to Minami‘s that I initially mistook Saku for Minami. This similarity in writing voice made it hard for me to distinguish the difference between the personalities of each of the characters.