Dainty and Dauntless

Broken:

I can't breathe yet I still inhale, I exhale and it feels like my hope just withered. I fill my lungs again and tug at the part where the hurting streams, It's still beating. Why is it still alive when it's broken apart?

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Heartbreak is a profound emotional experience that leaves an indelible mark on the soul. It is a visceral and often overwhelming sensation that encompasses a range of emotions, from acute pain to numbness, and from sadness to anger.
At its core, heartbreak feels like a deep, gnawing ache in the chest, as if a physical weight has settled upon the heart itself. It is as if the mind struggles to comprehend what the heart already knows: that something cherished and integral has been lost. As the reality of the loss settles in, heartbreak evolves into a more acute pain.
...

The holidays saw the students back to their homes. Natalie kept in indoors most of the time and there wasn't much to do around the house. Mrs. Simmons handled everything to do with the household. Gerald, her youngest of four years was smart enough and didn't need extra attention. He dropped down from his chair and ran away from the table.
"Mama, I'll go brush my teeth," his words came out with little breaths through his mouth.

"Okay honey. But be careful Gerald, you might trip over. The toddler's giggles could be heard from upstairs.
"I'll be up with you in a minute," his mother raised her voice for the little one to hear, and relaxed when she heard his little response to her message.

"Is everything alright dear?" Mrs. Simmons asked Natalie in a quieter tone. "You are too quiet"
Natalie looked back at her concerned mother and thought about opening up to Mrs. Simmons about Ethan Valer, but she dropped the idea. She glanced upstairs and sighed,

"I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" Natalie nodded.

"Good, and what's up with studies," she glanced at her daughter. "Is everything good? Your grades gave me quite a scare." Natalie scrunched up her nose. "I know. I'm sorry, I'll handle it".

"Do you want to talk about anything? Like— I don't know, what do you want to tell me". Natalie chuckled, "c'mon mom, there's nothing to worry about," she lied.

"Oh, okay" Mrs. Simmons sighed. "Help me finish up with this while I go and put your brother to bed".
"Sure"

Her mother's footsteps dissolved into silence and her mind opened up the portal to thoughts about the incident again. The anger swelled up inside her and she bit the inside of her cheek. Nothing made sense about that night. She hadn't expected such a response, nobody did apart from Ramh, apparently. Little also explained why Ramh had loved making her go through such torment. They were friends, at least Natalie had thought.
She carried the plates to the sink and walked back to the table with a cloth. Her hand worked with swiftness as the damp cloth wiped across the table. She arranged the chairs and swept the floor, washed the dishes and cleaned the sink.

She reached for the remote control and plopped down in the couch. The screen came to life with the image of a news anchor clad in a black suit and red tie. She flipped through the channels a few times and gasped when a familiar dialogue was recited.

"Today is your time, Mathias. Let's settle our score and be done with this!" she recited and let out a soft squeal.  The two men on the screen pulled out their fire arms and went at each other. Natalie crossed her legs and stared at the screen with excitement.  When one of the men, Mathias, was shot in the leg, Natalie giggled as she remembered Garf's frustration over this specific scene. The movie came to an end an hour later and Natalie was left staring at a black screen. Slowly, the silence enveloped her again and she retreated back to her mind. The mellow feeling faded and all that was left was bland, gray and unpleasant. She stood up to go and find her mother in the biggest room of the house.

"I'll head to my room now"
Mrs. Simmons answered with a sigh, "okay dear, good night".

Natalie walked with slow heavy steps until she stood in front of her room. She flung the door shut and dragged her feet, marching to the edge of the wooden frame. She breathed in, deep enough to make her stand on her toes, then let the air out. The bed creaked when her body collapsed into the pillows, face down and then her body began to tremble. Her hands lifted to her face making her muffled sniffling more sound, she cried like a child. The pain was there still, and it hurt every time she thought about him, and which was very often.
A façade? An illusion?
Natalie couldn't trace back to when she had fallen for Ethan Valer. Was it when he had made her laugh? Or when she had lingered on for a glimpse of him? Nothing was clear, or gave reason for his words.
Did he hate her? And since when?
For how long had he had to put up with her while keeping this disgust towards her a secret? Repugnance had never been any of her descriptions until he had addressed it. She didn't think herself repugnant and neither did she feel that way. Well, maybe she did come off as careless in the way she handled herself, but disgust wasn't the word for it. Regardless of her opinion, Ethan Valer's choice of words had been clear. He found her disgusting. She scoffed but couldn't hold back the tears that filled up her sockets. His arrogance was aggravating but his public denial hurt her feelings and brought her humiliation. Riley, Sera, Ramh, every one of them now viewed her as a victim. She kicked the air in frustration. With the memory tattooed in their minds for eternity, she could only live in fear of mockery from now on.

She longed for vengeance.

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