Dainty and Dauntless

This time:

I went fishing last night. With me I had the brightest lamp, and the sharpest hook. The sea was vast, and I longed to catch a fish, one so big and healthy... one that isn't you.

🏵🏵🏵

Natalie was happy to get done with high school. It was very soon; less than two months were left now. Leaving high school would mean growth. It excited her to go off to college and focus on what interested her. She would figure out what it really was when the time came up close.

"Engineering is a very good course, my dear," Mrs. Simmons has always said happily.

Natalie found physics very much intriguing, mathematics, not at all.
Math's equations, solutions, were her flaws she got bound to. An engineering course with lame mathematics would be a possible failure.

She wondered if "feeding curiosity" could one day be made a course. She would love it if it didn't have specifics, just gaining knowledge about anything and everything. There is a lot to learn, unlearn, re-learn and over-learn. She marveled at the possibility of having the time to actually do it.

Leaving high school behind also gave promise to finally escaping the hold Ethan Valer had on her.
Pretense and feigning being okay wasn't easy at all. Lately, Ethan had a girlfriend, one he was apparently very smitten with, and the girl seemed to like him back. They were both cute truly, too cute it made Natalie think that maybe, just maybe, she wasn't that nice a person after all.

Ethan was happy. He looked happy. He actually was very happy, but... why did she feel he could be happier, happier if he was hers.

But very soon he would be out of her sight and hopefully out of mind in a few months to follow.
The thought of life without him made her heart ache. The "unintended" tease from him, "accidental" flirting they shared, his disturbing ignorance about their connection and her scornful whispers after the confusion, all gone.

New beginnings. No where else would be left to go but ahead, straight into the new.

With that little time at hand, the final exams were so close. Mrs. Simmons hoped for an impressive report and Natalie too wanted good grades to help her get into a good college.
To achieve that she needed to get down to revision, test exercises, research and more.
She did what she could, staying up late with revision, consulting as much as she could from her classmates about tricky questions and frequenting library visits.
It was the final stretch.

...

The finals were almost done.
In classrooms and study halls, clusters of students were hunched over their desks, scribbling away at last-minute notes or solving practice problems, their faces a mixture of concentration and fatigue. Some had books and notebooks spread out in front of them, their pages crammed with highlighted lines, sticky notes protruding from the edges like colorful flags marking important sections. Calculators clicked rapidly, and the occasional frustrated sigh broke the silence as a particularly tough problem or concept resists understanding.

The school library was another hive of activity. Rows of computers were occupied by students typing furiously, finalizing essays and projects that are due. The quiet rustle of pages turning, the soft buzz of whispered discussions, and the sound of typing keys blending into a soundtrack of focused effort.
Outside, the school grounds were a mix of activity and reflection. Some students took advantage of the sunny weather, sprawled on the grass with textbooks or gathered in small groups for impromptu study sessions.

In between study sessions, the conversations inevitably turned to the future. Students discussed their plans for college, trade schools, gap years, or entering the workforce. There's a mix of excitement and trepidation in their voices as they talk about moving away from home, making new friends, and the challenges that lie ahead.

Natalie, Elise and Garf were seating their last paper that chilly morning. The stressful round of exams was coming to an end.
When the bell rung to signal the end of the exams, sighs of relief were heard in the room. They had made it through high school.
With the exams done, many planned to return all the books they had borrowed from the library throughout the whole period.

"Can you please help take mine too, Natalie?" "I really have to be somewhere right now, and it might slip my mind to return the books today. Oh, please please please."

"I will help you carry them to the library," Garf joined in.

"Well, hand them over and get going. Muscleman over here has offered his help."

"Thanks, you guys. They are all in here," she handed the bag to Garf. "Okay, bye for now."
Elise then jogged away.

When they got to the library, it wasn't yet back to its usual tranquility, but not loud like it had been for the past month.
A few books were still left on top of the tables and some computers still occupied.
They managed to check-in each book and were done in a few minutes.

"Now that that's been dealt with, I shall take my leave. See you soon Natalie."

"Yeah, soon"
As Garf disappeared out the door, Natalie took a quick glance around the room again. She went on to collect the books scattered around, returning each to their specific aisle.
The last book was at her favorite desk and spread wide open. She looked down into it, furrowed her brows and bent towards it.

"Oh! Interesting," she whispered as she picked it up.

She read a few lines from it and giggled, then swiftly turned to read the title as she sat down.
She found herself thinking about Mr. Watts. This was the kind of poetry he would enjoy.
Natalie had a pleasant time reading through the book. She felt the need to leave it on that table, spread out like she had found it, in hope that maybe someone else would find it, hopefully Mr. Watts then he too would get the pleasure of reading it.

As the weather outside, through the windows was becoming windy, Natalie hugged herself, feeling the rough denim of her jacket on her palms.
She picked up the book, finally deciding to return it to the shelves and slowly made her way to the back.
Giggles ahead alerted her of two people liking each other's company. It was a girl and boy for sure.

A cozy library for a cozy couple in this cozy weather. She blushed at the thought.
As she approached, she quickened her paces and decided to glance their way once with a shy smile.

She glanced and her heart dropped. She turned away fast.

Her weak legs managed to carry her to the back where she returned the book to the shelf, then walked to the wall and finally gave in.
Natalie plopped and sat down, leaning against the wall and hugging her knees.

Her brain was blank. All she could hear was her silence.

She dropped her head back and stared at where she couldn't see. She remained there for long, until the two people's voices and steps made their way to the front of the library. As the wind continued hollering outside, the murmurs grew lesser until no voice was heard.
Hard rain drops sounded on the roof, slowly increasing in number until it was a shower of rain.

Natalie's eyes glimmered. Her palms rubbed on her knees repeatedly as she held her breath.

It was building up.

When her mouth began to quiver, she let out a deep breath and both her eyes watered.
One last time, this final time, she was going to cry out loud. This had to be it.

"I fucking hate you Ethan Valer"

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