Dainty and Dauntless

Loop:

My eyes glimmered at yours before and got no response. I have issues currently, yours seem to glimmer now yet mine don't want to show my desperation anymore.

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It was a chilly Friday afternoon. Natalie had lent her scrap book to Garf the day before and he was to return it that day, but Garf had left it with a friend from another class so he had hurried off to fetch it after lessons. Natalie had promised to come back to the classroom block after a few minutes before lunch time was up. She had been caught up in the cafeteria and was a few minutes late. She quickened her paces towards the classroom and inside she could hear two voices talking inside. She recognized one as Garf's but the other was too low to recognize at the moment. Garf was laughing as she made her way inside the room. Then she spotted Ethan at the front and her belly flipped.

"Natalie, you will not believe this," Garf laughed, "Ethan over here wants to end his life".

Natalie stayed silent and looked from Garf to Ethan who turned away from her.

"Life feels meaningless now," he whispered and Garf laughed some more.

"Love is torturing the poor guy. You see, Michelle changed schools".
Natalie gulped, "so he wants to end his life?"

"Apparently," Garf chuckled.

"It's up to him to decide if that's all he wants out of life or not. There is more to life," she paused, "you won't get to prove how better you are than everyone if you die now". Natalie picked her book from Garfield's hand and walked out the door.

"I won't plead with you like Natalie. For such pathetic reasoning, I think it is only her who would cry for you". Garfield was partly right, she walked on as the dull ache in her heart became worse.

That evening, classes were done and Natalie was almost done shoving her property in her school bag when she froze in place. Her eyes shot up from her bag and she tried to deny his presence with a head shake then turned swiftly in his direction. Ethan was standing there, school bag on his back with one strap held by his right arm, looking down at her. He got startled, pinched his ear and walked away fast out the door and she rolled her eyes in disbelief. She zipped up her bag and made her way out of the classroom too.
When she got outside, she smiled and waved to Garf who seemed to be in a hurry.

"Where are you off to in a hurry?," she asked and crossed her arms.

"I need to make it to the library in time. Lincoln is waiting for me".

"Oh, don't tell me! Again Garf, it's a habit now"

Garf hurried to squint his eyes and point at Natalie,"heyyy, are you judging me?" and Natalie laughed.

"See. You. Tomorrow," she managed to read his lips as he ran towards the library building.

Natalie turned to head the other way, laughing lightly and wished she had missed Ethan's frame standing a few steps away. She looked back at him with a frown, then looked away and kept walking on.

"Simmons"

She stopped when she heard him call. She attempted to make another step and when she heard nothing from him, she took more steps forward, determined to keep walking till she reached the dorms but he called again and she cussed out. Natalie halted, swiftly turned and almost buried her face in his chest. She stumbled back and held onto his arm and shoulders but kept all her weight on her right leg, preventing the fall. The fright from the incident had her a bit breathless and her forehead creased with sweat. Her chest heaved and she kept looking around at the ground. When she finally looked up at him, her eyes searched his entire face and she blinked uncontrollably before she pulled away from him.

"I'm sorry," she looked to the ground.

"That's alright. You're good?" Ethan watched her rub her palms and reach out for a handkerchief in her bag.

"Yeah, yeah... i'm fine," she wiped her forehead, "thanks"

"Sure," he said and fell silent.

"You called?" Natalie held onto her bag and waited for him to speak.

"Oh, r-right!," he stammered and pinched his ear, "I wanted to say hi. How have you been?," he asked.

"I've been good," He chuckled nervously and turned to leave. She watched him jog away until he disappeared behind the classroom block. Nothing made sense now more than ever. She wanted to be angry, in fact she was but bemused at the same time. Her heart felt lightened and it hadn't felt this way in so long. She smiled, first lightly and then giggles and happy sighs slipped out.
•••

"I expect all the classrooms to look clean," Mr. Roller announced with a stern look. "Soap, detergent and clean water is available. You can get the mops and brushes from the store. I'll leave my keys with your class president". The girls almost complained. When Mr. Roller left, the seventy girls grouped themselves in fives and assigned to the different rooms on the classroom block.  Elise was grouped with girls from her class while Natalie, Sera, Riley, Ramh were assigned to their actual classroom since it was smaller compared to the other rooms. Every girl dispersed to begin with the cleaning once they were handed the cleaning equipment. Ramh's group did more of conversation than cleaning in one hour. In the next thirty minutes, the four focused on getting the work done to completion. As they packed up the brushes, buckets, gloves and mops, Sera grumbled over a piece of paper glued to the side of the table with gum. She flicked away the dry gum with a stick and opened up the paper. She looked through it and immediately called Riley over. Ramh walked over too, chuckled and alerted the girls that she was leaving.

"You need to see this," came Riley's voice as she urged Natalie to walk over to them. When she reached, Sera pinned the brutally crumpled paper on top of the table. The paper was divided into two by a line and names were written on either side in blue ink. On the right side, the word 'beautiful' was written in bold while the word 'ugly' was boldened on the left side. Four names were written on the right as well as the left side, and all names were written in ink except one name which was in pencil and crossed out. It was at the bottom of the list of names on the left side. Natalie's chest tightened as she stared at her name. All three girls abandoned the paper and left the room. She silently read the names over and over again and looked at hers multiple times to confirm its presence on the left side. Natalie's fingers mapped her face, she felt the tiny bumps on her skin and frowned. They had to be the reason why her name even crossed someone's mind when they searched for people to put on this list, she thought.
No wonder Ethan Valer had called her repugnant. She crumpled the paper in anger and chewed it up. The ink tasted bitter and she spat it out to the floor, then kicked the mashed paper out through the door.

If only she didn't have acne, maybe Ethan Valer wouldn't be disgusted by her.
•••
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