Half a heart

Chapter 37

Trigger Warnings: Anxiety, Mental Health, Emotional Distress

Charlie's POV:

I woke up slowly, the softness of the music room around me blurring with the remnants of my dreams. For a moment, I didn't remember where I was, only that I felt warm and safe, something I hadn't felt in a long time. The scent of old wood and the faint echoes of piano keys lingered in the air, and I could feel the steady rise and fall of someone's chest beneath my cheek. That's when it all came back to me—the breakdown, the tears, and how I'd finally let it all out to Nick.

My eyes fluttered open, and I realized I was still in the music room, my head resting on Nick's shoulder. The weight of everything I had been carrying was still there, but it felt lighter, somehow less suffocating. I didn't want to move, didn't want to break the fragile peace that had settled over me, but I knew I couldn't stay like this forever.

"Hey," Nick's voice broke through the quiet, soft and reassuring. He must have noticed I was awake. "How are you feeling?"

I took a moment to consider his question. How was I feeling? I wasn't sure if I had an answer that made sense. "Better," I said finally, my voice hoarse from sleep and all the crying I'd done earlier. "Tired, but better."

Nick nodded, his hand gently rubbing my back. "That's okay. You've been through a lot today. We don't have to talk about anything if you're not ready."

I felt a rush of gratitude towards him. Nick had always been there for me, even when I didn't realize I needed someone. He was the kind of friend who knew when to give space and when to stay close, and right now, his presence was the only thing keeping me grounded.

"I don't know what happened," I admitted, my voice trembling slightly as I tried to put my thoughts into words. "I just... I couldn't do it anymore. Everything felt like too much, and I didn't know how to stop it."

Nick's arms tightened around me, pulling me into a comforting embrace. "You don't have to explain it all now, Charlie. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. What's important is that you're here, and we're going to get through this together."

I closed my eyes, letting his words sink in. I wanted to believe him, to trust that things would get better, but it was hard. Every time I thought I was getting back on my feet, something would happen to knock me down again. I was so tired of fighting, so tired of pretending that I was okay when I wasn't.

"I don't know how to keep going," I whispered, the admission hanging heavy in the air between us. It was the truth, something I had been too scared to say out loud until now. The darkness I had been battling was creeping back in, threatening to swallow me whole.

"You don't have to do it alone," Nick said, his voice firm and steady. "We're all here for you, Charlie. Me, Harry, Niall... We all care about you more than you know. You don't have to pretend to be okay for us."

His words brought a lump to my throat. It was hard to accept that I didn't have to carry everything by myself, that there were people who wanted to help me. "I'm scared," I confessed, the tears welling up in my eyes again. "I'm so scared that I'll never get better, that I'll always feel like this."

Nick gently lifted my chin so that I was looking at him, his eyes filled with a kindness that made the tears spill over. "It's okay to be scared, Charlie. But you don't have to face it alone. We'll take it one day at a time, and we'll get through this together. I promise."

I nodded, unable to find the words to express how much his support meant to me. I didn't know if I could believe that things would be okay, but for now, it was enough to know that I didn't have to face the darkness alone. I rested my head back on Nick's shoulder, feeling a little more at peace than I had in a long time.

We stayed like that for a while, the minutes passing in a comfortable silence. I could feel the weight of sleep pulling me back under, but this time, it didn't feel so daunting. I knew that when I woke up, Nick would still be there, and maybe—just maybe—that would be enough to keep me going.

---

The rest of the day passed in a haze. I slept on and off, waking occasionally to the sound of the school bell ringing or the distant chatter of students passing by the music room. Nick stayed with me the entire time, never once leaving my side. He didn't push me to talk or force me to do anything I wasn't ready for. He just stayed, his quiet presence a constant source of comfort.

By the time 2:30 pm rolled around, I was awake but still feeling fragile. The day had taken its toll on me, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to face the world outside the music room. But when I saw Harry standing in the doorway, his face etched with concern and relief, I knew it was time to go home.

"Hey, kiddo," Harry said softly, stepping into the room. He walked over to us, his eyes scanning my face for any signs of distress. "How are you holding up?"

I tried to smile, but it came out more as a grimace. "I'm okay," I said, though I knew it wasn't the full truth. But it was what I could manage right now.

Harry nodded, his expression understanding. "We'll get through this, Charlie. One step at a time."

He held out his hand, and after a moment's hesitation, I took it. Nick helped me to my feet, steadying me as I swayed slightly from exhaustion. I leaned on Harry as we walked out of the music room, grateful for the support on both sides.

As we made our way through the school halls, I couldn't help but feel a sense of dread creeping in. Going home meant facing everything I had been avoiding—the questions, the worry, the pain. But with Harry and Nick by my side, it didn't seem as impossible as it had before.

We stepped out into the afternoon sun, and I squinted against the brightness. Harry's car was parked just outside, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I just wanted to go home, to crawl into bed and shut out the world for a while.

As we reached the car, Harry opened the door for me, and I climbed in, feeling the familiar comfort of the worn leather seat beneath me. Nick gave me a reassuring smile before closing the door and walking around to the other side. Harry slid into the driver's seat and started the engine, the rumble of the car a soothing background noise.

As we drove away from the school, I leaned my head against the window, watching the world blur by. I didn't know what the future held or how I would get through this, but for now, I was just grateful to have people who cared about me, who were willing to help me carry the weight when it became too much.

And maybe that was enough.