Half a heart

Chapter 62

Trigger Warnings: Anxiety, Mental Health, Emotional Distress

Charlie's POV

The backstage area was a blur as I tried to steady my breathing. My heart was still racing, and my hands trembled despite the warmth and comfort of the boys surrounding me. The noise and lights from the stage were far away now, muffled by the heavy curtains and the soft words of reassurance from Harry, Liam, and the others.

Paul and Jacob were close by, keeping a watchful eye on me, but it was Harry who stayed right next to me, his arm wrapped protectively around my shoulders. I could feel his heartbeat, strong and steady, and it helped anchor me, pulling me away from the panic that had overtaken me just moments ago.

"You're okay, Charlie," Harry whispered, his voice calm and soothing. "You're safe with us."

I nodded, though I still felt shaky. My head was spinning from the sensory overload of the crowd, the lights, and the noise. It had all been too much, too fast. I'd tried to stay calm, to stay in control, but everything had just... crashed in on me.

Liam knelt in front of me, his eyes full of concern. "Do you want to take a break? We don't have to go back out there if you're not ready."

I appreciated the offer, but something in me didn't want to hide away. Not anymore. I didn't want to be a burden or feel like I was holding them back. And I didn't want to let the fans down either, even if it scared me.

"I... I think I can do it," I said, my voice small but determined. "I don't want to be alone. Can I... can I stay with you guys?"

"Of course, you can," Louis chimed in, giving me a gentle smile. "We'll all stick together."

The others nodded in agreement, their support giving me the strength I needed. I squeezed Harry's hand tightly, drawing comfort from his presence. I wasn't alone. I had them, and that was all I needed to get through this.

"Do you want to explain to the fans what happened?" Niall asked, his tone gentle.

I hesitated for a moment, but then nodded. I didn't want to hide anymore. The fans deserved to know the truth, and maybe, just maybe, it would help me to say it out loud.

With that decision made, we slowly made our way back toward the stage. The noise grew louder as we got closer, the sound of the crowd waiting anxiously for the show to resume. My grip on Harry's hand tightened, and he gave me a reassuring squeeze in return.

As we stepped back onto the stage, the lights seemed a little less blinding, the noise a little less overwhelming. Harry kept me close, and the rest of the boys formed a protective circle around me as we approached the center of the stage. The crowd quieted down, sensing something important was happening.

Harry raised his mic to speak, his voice calm but firm. "Hey, everyone. We just wanted to take a moment to talk to you all and explain what happened earlier."

I felt all eyes on me, and for a moment, I wanted to retreat back into the safety of the backstage area. But Harry's hand in mine gave me the courage to keep going.

"This is Charlie," Harry continued, his voice full of warmth as he introduced me to the crowd. "He's been traveling with us on tour because he's part of our family, and we all care about him deeply. Sometimes, things get a bit overwhelming, and that's okay. We're here to support each other, and we hope you can support him too."

The crowd was silent, but I could feel their energy shift. It was no longer just about the performance-they were listening, really listening.

"I had a bit of a panic attack," I said, my voice trembling but growing steadier with each word. "It's something I've been dealing with for a while. But I didn't want to leave, and I didn't want to let anyone down. I'm going to stay out here with the boys, if that's okay."

A wave of applause and cheers erupted from the crowd, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me. They understood. They were on my side.

"Thank you for being so understanding," Liam added, smiling at the crowd. "Now, let's get back to the music, yeah?"

The crowd cheered even louder, and I felt a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. The boys started the next song, and Harry didn't let go of my hand as we continued the show together. I stayed close, singing along quietly and letting their voices and the music drown out the last of my fears.

As the night went on, I realized that maybe I didn't have to face everything alone. I had my family-Harry, Liam, Louis, Niall, and Zayn. And together, we could get through anything.