Half a heart

Chapter 80

Trigger Warnings: Anxiety, Mental Health, Emotional Distress

Charlie's POV

Three weeks had passed since everything with school, and I was back on tour with the boys. It felt a little weird to be out here again, but being with them was the only place I felt safe. The noise outside, the crowds of fans, and the internet storm that followed after people found out I was living with them-it was all still there. But with the boys, with Jacob and Paul, I didn't have to face it alone.

Right now, we were on the tour bus. It had been a long day of traveling between cities, and the hum of the engine beneath us was a familiar comfort, but I still couldn't shake the nightmares. I had woken up not too long ago, my heart racing, my mind tangled with that same feeling of panic that always crept in when I was alone.

I didn't want to wake anyone up, but Louis must've noticed. He always did.

I was lying on the couch, curled up as tight as I could, trying to will the anxiety away, but it wasn't working. Then Louis came over, his soft footsteps barely making a sound as he knelt beside me.

"Hey, you alright?" His voice was quiet, concerned.

I shook my head, unable to say anything. My chest felt tight, and I didn't know how to explain it, how to get the words out. Louis didn't push. He never did. Instead, he grabbed the weighted blanket from his suitcase, the one that always made me feel safe, and he draped it over me gently.

"Here, this'll help," he said, smoothing the fabric out over me before laying down beside me on the narrow couch. "You don't have to be alone, okay? I'm right here."

I nodded, feeling the weight of the blanket settle over me, grounding me, making it easier to breathe. Louis wrapped an arm around me, pulling me in close, and the warmth of him made the panic start to fade. I closed my eyes, focusing on the sound of his steady breathing. It was like an anchor, something to hold onto.

"Thanks," I mumbled, my voice barely a whisper.

"No need to thank me," Louis replied softly. "We're family, remember?"

That word-family-it made something inside me ease even more. It was true. They weren't just the boys from the band, not anymore. They were my family, my safe place. With that thought, I started to drift off, the exhaustion finally pulling me under.

I woke up sometime later, still wrapped in Louis' arms, the bus swaying gently beneath us. For a moment, I didn't remember where I was, but then I felt the soft fabric of the weighted blanket and Louis' arm still around me. I blinked a few times, trying to shake the fog from my mind.

Harry was standing nearby, a soft smile on his face as he watched us. "You two alright?" he asked quietly.

Louis stirred beside me, his voice groggy as he replied, "Yeah, we're good. He just needed to calm down."

Harry nodded, glancing between us. "You should bring him back to our room on the bus. It's more comfortable, and he'll probably sleep better."

Louis shifted, sitting up slowly and looking down at me. "What do you think, Charlie? Wanna head to the room?"

I nodded. "Yeah... that sounds good."

Louis didn't hesitate. He scooped me up, careful to keep the weighted blanket wrapped securely around me. I didn't even have to say anything; he just knew. He always knew what I needed, even when I didn't.

As we made our way through the narrow hallway of the bus, the blanket's weight felt like a shield, protecting me from everything. Louis carried me like I weighed nothing, and I buried my face in his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. I felt safe.

We reached their room, and Louis gently laid me down on the bed. The room was dimly lit, and the familiar sounds of the bus made it feel even cozier. Louis climbed in beside me, pulling the blanket up around both of us, and I snuggled into his side without a word. It was like a ritual now-finding comfort in each other, knowing that we didn't have to face things alone.

Harry slipped in next to Louis, wrapping an arm around him and smiling down at me. "You alright now?" he asked, his voice soft.

I nodded again, feeling a little more at ease. "Yeah. Thanks."

"Anytime, mate," Harry said, brushing some of the hair out of my face. "Try and get some more rest, okay? You're safe here."

I didn't need to be told twice. The warmth of the room, the weight of the blanket, and the presence of Louis and Harry beside me-it all made the anxiety drift away, bit by bit. I closed my eyes again, feeling the soft rhythm of Louis' breathing, the quiet murmur of the bus, and for the first time in a while, I felt like I could breathe freely.

As I started to drift off again, I whispered, "Love you guys."

"Love you too, Charlie," they both whispered back, and with that, I let sleep take me, knowing I was exactly where I needed to be.