Half a heart

Chapter 83

Trigger Warnings: Anxiety, Mental Health, Emotional Distress

Charlie's POV

I woke up slowly, my eyes still heavy from sleep. The first thing I felt was warmth, and it took a second for me to remember where I was. The soft weight of the blanket was still on me, but there was something else-someone else.

I blinked, trying to adjust to the dim light of the dressing room. And then it hit me. Nick. He was lying right next to me, his arm around me, his chest rising and falling steadily as he breathed. For a moment, I just stared at him, like I couldn't believe he was really here.

The relief washed over me all at once, and before I knew it, tears were spilling down my face. I hadn't realized just how much I missed him until now. Without thinking, I pressed my face into his chest and let the tears come. It was like all the fear, all the anxiety I'd been carrying finally had somewhere to go.

Nick stirred, his arm tightening around me. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?" His voice was soft, still thick with sleep.

"I just missed you so much," I choked out, my voice barely above a whisper.

He held me closer, his hand running through my hair. "I missed you too, Charlie. I'm here now, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

I nodded, trying to breathe through the sobs. It wasn't even that I was sad-I was just overwhelmed. Nick was my safe place, and now that he was here, I didn't have to be strong anymore.

After a while, the tears slowed, and I just lay there, listening to his heartbeat, letting it calm me down.

"You okay now?" he asked after a while, his voice gentle.

I wiped at my eyes and nodded. "Yeah... I'm okay."

Nick smiled down at me, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. "Good. I missed your smile."

I couldn't help but smile a little, even though I still felt raw. "I'm glad you're here."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he said. "Now, you wanna come watch the show with me and Jacob?"

I nodded, the idea of sitting with him and Jacob sounding way more appealing than being on my own. Jacob was always so calm and steady, and with Nick here too, I knew I'd be safe.

We got up, and Nick kept his arm around me as we walked out of the dressing room. Jacob was waiting for us, giving me a reassuring nod when he saw me.

We made our way to the side of the stage, where I sat down between Nick and Jacob. The show had already started, and I could hear the roar of the crowd as the boys performed. It should've been overwhelming, but with Nick beside me and my ear defenders on, I felt okay.

But then something happened.

I could see movement on stage, and then Paul appeared, walking the drummer off stage. Something was wrong. The boys were talking, their mics turned off, and I saw Paul heading toward us. My stomach dropped.

"What's going on?" I asked, my voice shaky.

"The drummer's having issues," Jacob said calmly. "But it's gonna be okay."

Paul walked up, looking at me, then Nick, then Jacob. He knelt down in front of me, his voice soft but urgent. "Charlie, the boys need someone to play. The drummer can't go back on. Would you be willing to help them out?"

My heart pounded in my chest. "Me?" I couldn't. There was no way. The thought of stepping out on that stage, in front of all those people, made me want to crawl under a rock.

Nick squeezed my hand. "Charlie, you can do this. You're amazing on the drums. You've been practicing for this without even knowing it."

I shook my head, my breath coming faster. "I can't-there's too many people-I'll mess it up."

Jacob leaned in closer. "We'll be right here with you, Charlie. You've got this. You know the songs. And the boys-they need you."

I looked at the stage, at the boys talking to each other, reading signs from fans, waiting for something to happen. They were counting on me. But could I really do it? Could I really go out there and play?

Nick's voice was gentle but firm. "Charlie, you're stronger than you think. We all believe in you. The boys believe in you."

I hesitated, my hands shaking. But then I thought about how much the boys had always done for me-how they'd been there for me through everything. If they needed me now, how could I say no?

I swallowed hard and nodded. "Okay. I'll do it."

Nick's face lit up with pride. "That's my boy."

Jacob smiled, helping me stand up. "Let's get you set up."

We walked over to where the tech team was waiting. They handed me in-ear monitors, and Jacob made sure they were in right. The boys were still waiting on stage, and I could see them glancing back toward us.

When everything was ready, Jacob walked me out onto the stage, guiding me to the drum kit. My heart was racing, and I could barely hear anything over the roar of the crowd, but I tried to focus. Jacob leaned down and whispered, "Just listen to what's coming through the in-ears. You know this."

I nodded, my hands trembling as I picked up the drumsticks. The beat came through my ears, and I closed my eyes, trying to focus. I tapped out the rhythm, starting slow, then picking up as the song built.

Suddenly, I heard Paul's voice in my ears. "The boys are about to turn around."

The crowd erupted, and when I opened my eyes, I saw the boys turning to face me. They looked shocked at first, then their faces broke into wide grins. Harry gave me a thumbs-up, and Louis mouthed, "You've got this."

I took a deep breath and kept playing. The song started again, and before I knew it, we were halfway through. The crowd was cheering, and I could feel the adrenaline rushing through me.

By the time the song ended, I was still in shock that I'd actually done it. The boys ran over to me, their faces full of pride and excitement.

Liam was the first to reach me, pulling me into a tight hug. "You were amazing, Charlie!"

Harry followed, ruffling my hair. "I knew you could do it!"

They all surrounded me, telling me how proud they were, and for the first time in a long time, I felt proud of myself too.

We walked off stage, and Nick and Jacob were waiting for me. Nick's eyes were shining with pride as he pulled me into a hug, and Jacob gave me a smile that said more than words ever could.

"You were incredible," Nick whispered in my ear, holding me close.

And for the first time in a long time, I believed him.