Half a heart

Chapter 87

Trigger Warnings: Anxiety, Mental Health, Emotional Distress

Charlie's POV

Sitting in the recording booth, I could still feel the warmth of the boys' hugs lingering on me. The sound of their cheering hadn't quite faded from my ears either, but I was trying to keep my heart from racing out of control. It was weird-singing into that microphone, hearing my voice come through the headphones-it felt more real than any show I'd done on tour.

I hadn't planned on singing today, but then again, I didn't really plan on doing much of what had happened over the last few months. Playing drums in front of thousands of people, being part of a world tour, singing live when Harry was struggling-those moments felt like they were happening to someone else. But then Jacob would remind me: I'm right here, you've got this.

And I guess, somehow, I did.

The boys were still buzzing with excitement, working on the next part of the song and going through vocal takes, but I was on the couch again, weighted blanket wrapped tight around me. My nerves had calmed down a little, but the adrenaline was still there, buzzing under my skin like electricity.

"You did great, Charlie," Jacob said softly, sitting down next to me. "You feeling okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Just... I wasn't expecting that."

"You didn't expect to sound that good?" he teased lightly, nudging me. "Because you did."

I gave him a small smile. Jacob always knew what to say to make me feel grounded again. Without him, I didn't think I'd have gotten through half of this year.

"I just never thought I'd actually be recording," I admitted. "Like... really recording. Not just messing around with the drums."

Jacob looked at me, his expression serious now. "You've been part of this band longer than you realize. You belong here. This is just the next step."

I let his words settle, trying to absorb them like I always did. But it was hard. The voice in my head still told me I didn't deserve this-this life, this chance to be with them like this. I wasn't one of them. I wasn't part of the band, not really.

Before I could say anything, the studio door opened, and Louis walked in, his usual grin plastered on his face. "Charlie, mate, you absolutely smashed that! We've been talking, and we think we need more of your vocals on this track."

My stomach tightened. More? I thought the one take was enough for today.

"Wait, what do you mean?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Well," Louis said, sitting on the arm of the couch, "we were thinking... you could take the second verse too. You've already nailed the first, so why not just go for it? We'll guide you through."

I stared at him, blinking. The second verse? On the same track?

"But-" I started, but Louis cut me off with a wave of his hand.

"No buts, Charlie. You've got this, alright? The boys and I believe in you. And so does Jacob. You just have to trust yourself a little more."

I looked at Jacob, then back at Louis. My brain was spinning. It was one thing to sing one verse, but two?

"I don't know if I can," I whispered.

Louis frowned, but it wasn't the kind of frown that said he was disappointed-it was the kind that said he wasn't giving up on me. "Charlie, you've done way harder things than this. Remember that time you played Harry's solo in front of twenty thousand people? You think singing two verses in a recording studio is harder than that?"

I hesitated. He had a point. But still...

"I... I'll try," I said quietly, feeling the weight of their trust in me.

"That's the spirit!" Louis said, clapping me on the shoulder. "Come on then, let's get you back in the booth."

I stood up slowly, blanket still wrapped around me, and followed Louis and Jacob back to the recording booth. The rest of the boys were already there, waiting for me.

"Look who's ready to rock again," Zayn said with a wink.

"Don't worry," Harry added, "it's just us in here. No pressure."

I swallowed hard and took my place in front of the mic. The headphones felt heavy on my head, but I tried to focus on the track playing in my ears. The beat came in softly, and I could hear Liam's voice on the first verse. When the music transitioned into the second verse, I closed my eyes and let the words come.

"I've been lost in the silence,
Hiding from the light,
But now I see the path ahead,
I'm ready for the fight..."

I sang, my voice shaking at first but growing stronger with each line. My heart was pounding, but I kept going, feeling the music guide me. By the time I hit the chorus, I felt more in control. I wasn't perfect, but I didn't need to be. The boys had my back, and I could feel Jacob's presence, even from the other side of the glass.

When the track ended, I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. Everyone was grinning at me, wide and proud.

"You did it, mate," Harry said, his voice full of warmth.

"I told you," Jacob added, "you belong here."

I smiled, this time bigger. Maybe, just maybe, I was starting to believe them.