Half a heart

Chapter 40

Trigger Warnings: Anxiety, Mental Health, Emotional Distress

Harry's POV

The drive home from Charlie's therapy appointment was different from the drive there. The tension that had wrapped itself around us like a vice had loosened, just a little. I glanced over at Charlie every so often, watching as he stared out the window, lost in thought. There was something different about him now—he seemed lighter, like he'd taken off a heavy coat he'd been wearing for too long.

I wanted to ask him how it went, to know every detail of what he talked about, but I knew better. Therapy was personal, and he'd share when he was ready. Instead, I kept quiet, letting the silence between us be a comfortable one. After a few minutes, Charlie spoke up, his voice soft but steady.

"Harry, do you think... do you think I'll ever feel normal again?"

The question hit me like a punch to the gut. I had been wondering the same thing for so long, but hearing Charlie ask it out loud made it feel even more real, more urgent. I took a moment to think before I answered, not wanting to say the wrong thing.

"I don't know if 'normal' is the right word," I said carefully. "I think... what you're going through will change you, but that doesn't mean you can't find a new kind of normal. A better one, maybe. One where you're happier and not carrying so much weight around."

Charlie was quiet for a moment, taking in my words. "I guess that makes sense," he said finally. "It's just hard to imagine right now. Everything feels so... heavy, even after talking to Dr. Mason."

"It's okay to feel that way," I reassured him. "You've been through a lot, and it's going to take time to work through it all. But you don't have to do it alone. I'm here, and so are Niall and Nick. We're all here for you."

Charlie nodded, though I could see the doubt lingering in his eyes. "I know. I'm just... scared, I guess. Scared that I'll never be able to get rid of this feeling, that it'll always be there, lurking in the background."

I wanted to tell him that it wouldn't, that one day he'd wake up and the darkness would be gone, but I couldn't lie to him. I didn't know what the future held, and I couldn't promise him something I wasn't sure of. Instead, I said, "Even if it's there, you'll learn how to manage it, how to live with it without letting it take over. And you'll have us to help you."

"Yeah," Charlie whispered, more to himself than to me. "I hope so."

We pulled up to the house, and I could see Niall's car parked out front. He must have come over while we were gone. As we walked inside, the smell of something cooking hit us, and I realized Niall was in the kitchen. Nick was sitting on the couch, flipping through a magazine, but he looked up the moment we walked in.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Nick asked, his eyes full of concern.

Charlie shrugged, offering a small smile. "It was... okay. I think it'll help."

Nick nodded, his expression softening with relief. "Good. That's good, Charlie."

Niall appeared in the doorway, wiping his hands on a dish towel. "I made spaghetti," he announced, his tone light, though I could see the worry lines on his forehead. "I figured you'd be hungry after your session."

Charlie's smile grew a little more genuine. "Thanks, Niall. I am hungry, actually."

We all sat down around the table, the smell of garlic and tomato sauce filling the air. For the first time in what felt like forever, there was a sense of normalcy in the house. We talked about little things—school, music, movies—anything but the heavy stuff that had been hanging over us. And for a while, it felt almost like old times, before everything had gotten so complicated.

As we finished eating, I couldn't help but feel a surge of hope. Charlie had a long road ahead of him, but today had been a step in the right direction. He was trying, and that was what mattered. We were all trying, and as long as we had each other, I knew we could get through this.

After dinner, Niall and Nick headed home, leaving Charlie and me alone in the house. We ended up on the couch, watching some mindless TV show neither of us was really paying attention to. It was just nice to be together, to have some peace and quiet after everything that had happened.

"Thanks for driving me today," Charlie said after a while, breaking the comfortable silence.

"Of course," I replied, glancing over at him. "I'll take you to your appointments whenever you need. You don't have to worry about that."

Charlie nodded, and for the first time in a long time, I saw a spark of something in his eyes—hope, maybe, or determination. "I'm going to keep trying," he said softly. "Even when it's hard. I want to get better."

"You will," I said firmly, believing it with every fiber of my being. "And I'll be with you every step of the way."

Charlie gave me a small, but genuine smile, and I felt my heart swell with pride and love for him. No matter what happened next, I knew we'd face it together.

And that was enough.