Half a heart

Chapter 59

Trigger Warnings: Anxiety, Mental Health, Emotional Distress

Charlie's POV

I sat on the edge of the hotel bed, phone in hand, waiting for Nick to pick up. The tour had been exhausting, and with everything going on, I missed him more than I could put into words. The phone rang a few times before I heard his familiar voice.

"Hey, Charlie," Nick said, his tone immediately comforting. "How's everything going?"

A small smile tugged at my lips. "Hey, Nick. It's... it's been okay. Just a bit overwhelming, you know?"

"I can imagine," he replied softly. "You've been doing great, though. I'm really proud of you."

Hearing those words from him made the tension in my chest ease a little. "Thanks. It helps, talking to you. Makes me feel like I can handle this."

"You can, Charlie," Nick assured me. "And remember, it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Just take it one step at a time. I'm always here if you need me."

"I know," I whispered, wishing more than anything that he was here with me. "I miss you."

"I miss you too," Nick said, and I could hear the longing in his voice. "But we'll see each other soon, okay? Just hang in there."

"Yeah... I'll try," I replied, trying to keep the shakiness out of my voice.

We talked for a few more minutes, Nick telling me about his day and making me laugh with some silly story about his family's vacation. It was nice, just hearing his voice, feeling connected to him even though we were miles apart. But eventually, we had to say goodbye, and as I hung up, the familiar weight of anxiety began to creep back in.

I took a deep breath, trying to ground myself, but it wasn't long before the panic started to build. I glanced around the room, trying to distract myself by focusing on getting ready for the day. The boys were already preparing to leave for the venue, and I needed to make sure I had everything.

That's when I noticed something was missing.

My heart skipped a beat, and I began to search frantically through my bag. Where were they? My hands shook as I rifled through my things, my breath coming faster with each passing second.

"Where are they?" I muttered to myself, the panic rising. My ear defenders-where had I put them? I had them with me yesterday, I was sure of it.

But no matter how hard I looked, they were nowhere to be found. The panic started to spiral out of control, my thoughts racing as I imagined trying to get through the day without them. The noise, the crowds-it was all too much to bear.

"Charlie?" Liam's voice called from the doorway, and I spun around to see him standing there, concern etched on his face. "What's wrong?"

"I can't... I can't find them," I stammered, my voice trembling. "My ear defenders... I can't find them, and I need them, Liam."

Liam quickly crossed the room, his presence steady and reassuring. "Hey, it's okay. We'll find them. Just take a deep breath."

But I couldn't breathe properly. My chest felt tight, the walls closing in as the panic took hold. "I can't... I can't do this without them, Liam."

"Shh, it's okay," Liam said softly, guiding me to sit down on the bed. He knelt in front of me, his hands resting on my shoulders. "We'll figure it out. Just breathe with me, okay? In and out."

I tried to follow his lead, focusing on his calm voice, but it was so hard to calm down when I felt like I was drowning in fear. My thoughts kept circling back to the performance, the noise, the crowd-it was too much.

"Liam, I can't..." I choked out, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.

"Yes, you can," Liam said firmly but gently. "You're stronger than you think, Charlie. We're all here for you, and we'll make sure you're okay."

I could see the determination in his eyes, and it gave me something to hold onto. Slowly, I forced myself to take deeper breaths, trying to calm the storm inside my head. Liam stayed with me, his presence steady and grounding, until the worst of the panic started to ebb.

"We'll find your ear defenders," Liam promised. "And if we can't, we'll figure something out. You're not alone in this, Charlie."

I nodded, still shaken but grateful for his support. "Thank you," I whispered, my voice barely audible.

"Anytime," Liam said, giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Let's go see if the others can help us look, okay?"

With Liam's help, I stood up, trying to steady myself. As we walked out of the room together, I couldn't help but feel a deep sense of gratitude for the boys and how they always had my back, no matter what.