The sun is beginning to set over the beach where their villa is located. They've spent the day exploring the island and zip lining. There has been small signs of disconnection. Monica has been noticing small things that Angel seems uninterested in, or moments where Angel seems lost in thought.
Monica is in love with Angel, but lately, she's been feeling the weight of the differences between them because of their age gap. Monica is older with different priorities and while Angel is younger with an established life their priorities aren't the same. Monica has 3 kids while Angel has none. Monica's career has been established for over 20 years while Angel is just beginning to establish hers. She's noticing that what she finds romantic and meaningful might not resonate the same way with Angel. This trip was supposed to help bridge the gap but Monica is starting to feel like it's backfiring.
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Monica POV: We're outside on the deck and I'm sitting down while Angel is standing by the railing. I feel like she's being distant but I don't know how to address it.
"You should come sit with me" I said
"Ok" she said, walking over to sit next to me
I watched her, noticing that she seems distracted, like she's in her head about something. My thoughts start racing. Maybe she's not as invested in this relationship as I am.
"Does she think I'm too old for this? For her? Maybe she wants something different, something more exciting. Maybe I'm trying too hard to hold onto her and it's pushing her away." I said, internally
"What's going on Angel? You've been quiet all day" I said
"It's nothing. Just tired. I guess" she said
"Tired? You've been distant the whole day. Did I do something?" I asked
She turned to face me before saying "it's not you, Monica. It's just everything. I don't know maybe this wasn't the best time for this trip"
Feeling a mix of hurt and defensiveness I said "Not the best time? Angel, I planned this trip because I thought you needed some time away from everything. I was just trying to do something special for you for once."
"I know you did and I'm grateful but maybe I don't need "special" right now. Maybe I need.. I don't know.. normal. Something that feels like reality and not a fairytale" she said
"So what? This is all fake to you? You think I'm trying to make you escape reality?" I said
She started shaking her head "No, that's not what I'm saying. It's like we're here in this beautiful place, and we're supposed to just forget about everything back at home. The pressure, the expectations. It's all still there Monica. It doesn't just disappear because we're on vacation."
I've beentrying so hard to make things perfect so she doesn't focus on the age gap, but now I feel like I've been too controlling, too focused on creating the ideal experience that doesn't resonate with Angel's reality.
"I'm not trying to make you forget. I'm trying to give us a moment, just one moment where we don't have to think about all of that. I thought you wanted that too." I said
"I do want that but it's hard, Mo. I can't just switch it off. And sometimes it feels like you don't understand that. It's like you just expect me to go along with whatever you plan and be happy about it." She said
I started to feel guilty. I realize that I've been trying to impose my own ideas of romance and connection on Angel, without considering what Angel needs or wants. The only thing I've been focused on is my underlying fear that this age difference is creating a gap that will eventually be too big to fix.
"I'm trying, Angel. I'm trying to make you happy, to show you how much you mean to me. But it feels like no matter what I do, it's not enough." I said
Angel sees the pain in Monica's eyes and realizes the deeper issue. She understands that Monica is struggling with the age gap, fearing that it's creating distance between them. Angel's tone softens as she reaches out to assure Monica.
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Angel POV: "It's not about you not being enough. You are enough. More than enough. Maybe I'm just too much sometimes. I've got all this stuff in my head, and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't want to push you away, but I don't know how to let you in either." I said
"I'm here, baby. I want to be here for you, through all of it. You have to let me in and talk to me, I can't keep guessing what's wrong."
I nodded "You're right. I'm sorry, I just don't want to mess this up. I don't want to mess us up."
"We're going to mess up sometimes. We're human, or happens but as long as we keep communicating with each other we'll be good" she said
I grabbed her hand and squeezed it "I promise I'll do better. I won't get distant next time"
