03| instincts

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The woman who had saved Kibutsuji was no one to play with

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The woman who had saved Kibutsuji was no one to play with.

He learned that very quickly.

When you had mentioned "pulling his own weight" you had meant it. That's why he was walking through the snow on his own like this. He had just finished collecting firewood and he was carrying it back so it could be put to use. A part of him felt that he was too noble to be doing such futile activities--that the real him would never stoop so low.

Still, the blank space in his head made it so there was no real reason for him to refute doing this activity. It wasn't as if it was particularly hard either. He was more than strong enough.

Making it to the front of the cottage he opened the door and let all the firewood down.

"Oh, you're back."

Kibutsuji glared at you.

"Why is it that you get to stay inside while I have to go outside in the snow?"

You smiled, "Because I'm letting you stay with me."

He looked at you rather skeptically. He didn't like your reasoning. He saw multiple things wrong with that logic but instead of disputing against you, he focused his mind elsewhere.

You were knitting. All over the floor, there was equipment, and it looked as if you were preparing to travel soon.

"Are you going somewhere?"

You nodded.

"I'm going to sell these in a few days. Soon I'll also have to go outside in the snow, but for now," you got up from your seated position, "I'll get you warmed up."

Kibutsuji looked at you skeptically yet again but upon seeing you dust off the snow from him he realized you were only trying to help him.

He allowed it.

You sat him down and began warming his hands with a cloth.

The cloth was soft.

"Is it bad outside?" you asked as you melted the cold away.

"Not particularly."

You frowned, "I hope it's not too difficult."

"It's fine," Kibutsuji said, "I'm not weak."

Your eyes met his and you smiled a bit, "I'm glad to hear it."

There was a silence between the two of you before you spoke, "At times," you began, "the winters here are brutal. Usually, it's more lively at this time of year but because of the weather everyone's cooped up inside."

Kibutsuji grimaced. Just as the words left your lips the wind began to howl loudly. He could see the snow rushing violently outside and he was more than satisfied he was finished. He didn't want to step out again.

"However, in the Testu village, they usually do festivities. I'm sure some of the villagers will travel over."

"Will you leave?"

You bit your lip.

You wished you could go there, back to the place you had grown up.

"No," you answered quietly.

You made a plausible excuse, "It's too cold."

Trying to distract yourself you spoke up, "What about you? Have you made any progress?"

Kibutsuji blinked.

"Have any of your memories returned?"

His hand retracted roughly from yours. The cloth you were holding fell to the floor and the man gave you a rough glare.

You looked stunned for a moment. Had you said something wrong?

Kibutsuji looked away from you with an annoyed expression.

Nothing. Nothing had come back to him at all. It couldn't be helped, perhaps it was too early but even so, he had hoped something would flash through his mind.

One thing had been made certain though, and that was, for some reason, the sun and him didn't collide all that well.

He didn't know why, there was no explanation but whenever the sun began to rise he felt uncomfortable.

He hadn't had the audacity to walk out in broad daylight but every time he tried, every cell in his body told him to turn back.

He always listened to his instincts so he only worked at night which made you nag him endlessly.

You were an avid nagger.

You were also a bad cook.

You were helpful though...and strangely considerate. You seemed open to him and your flexibility was to his liking. You had a warm vibe to you that seemed to help him in his current situation, but other than that, he was still trying to learn more about you and himself.

He wanted to get more time outside. He wanted triggers. He needed something to kickstart his memories.

He watched the flurry of snow outside with a frown. It was a pity he couldn't do that right now but as soon as the opportunity arose he would have his way.

He couldn't afford to be complacent.

His instincts were strong and they were telling him that his current situation was not him at all. That the longer he stayed here the more danger he would find himself in.

He trusted those instincts.

He turned his head to face you.

"Your name?"

"My name?"

"Would you tell it to me?"

There was a silence between the two of you.

"(Y/N)," you spoke, "my name is (Y/N)."

"..."

(Y/N)?

...

Strangely, he found the name kind of nice.

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