"The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe." - Gustave Flaubert
The Gemme Community has always believed in perfection, whether it's for our community, or for our precious gem clients, and today, to acknowledge that perfection, th...
I like how attractive to the eye your cover is, and the line about dreams becoming nightmares is definitely something to pull you in. I will also say that the smaller fonts on the cover are a bit harder to read and see. I would suggest making them easier to view.
Title: 10/10
Short, sweet and on point. I think this title was perfect for the story.
Blurb/Description: 6/10
The description of your story is interesting and accurate, however I expected the story to actually show the race which it did not.
Creativity and originality: 7/10
While the concept of people being sucked into novels has been done countless times, you added your own spin on it. It was intriguing and I enjoyed the entire concept. It also has be interested in the story she's being sucked into.
Plot and Flow: 17/20
I liked the plot and I do not feel that it moved too quickly, however I would've liked to see more. The story itself seemed unfinished; she finds herself in the book she was reading, she gets into trouble, they decide on her punishment. Does she make it through? How does her presence affect how the story unfolds now? It feels more like an advertisement to another book than its own complete story.
Character Development: NA
As this was a very short story, there wasn't much room for character development.
Writing style: 10/10
You were very good at describing the people as well as the setting which helped to place myself within the story and there was never a dull moment.
Grammar, spellings, etc.: 10/10
I did not notice many grammatical errors in your story.
Genre relevance: 10/10
It is exactly what it says it is; a short fantasy. I think it fits well into both of those categories.
Overall: 70/80
The story was interest and caught my attention almost from the start. I think your writing style is great, and your imagery of the world she falls into is fantastic, however I feel that this entire story is just a quick advertisement for your other works. It is a cleverly done advertisement as it holds a reader's attention, but the entire first chapter highlights the original work, other works from you (the author) and possible future works.
If this was your intention, then well done and I'd say job well done. If this was not your intention, then I would say that Cassie deserves her own story, even if you still end it on a cliffhanger. It felt like the introduction of a story that was never finished.
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