"The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe." - Gustave Flaubert
The Gemme Community has always believed in perfection, whether it's for our community, or for our precious gem clients, and today, to acknowledge that perfection, th...
I'm looking at the art and wanted to know; did you draw this? Your skill is amazing! I've never been an artist, so I always envy those who have that gift.
Title: 10/10
For the genre of story you're writing, and what it's about, I think this is perfect.
Blurb/Description: 7/10
Your description is short and to the point. I think it's a great start, but maybe consider adding in a little blurb about Lynn as well?
Creativity and originality: 10/10
I like the dystopian feel that you're going for in this story. The concept of her ability to regenerate body parts and heal due to experimentation is an interesting one and I'm excited to see where your story leads.
Plot and Flow: 16/20
Right off the bat, you warn readers that your story reads more like a screenplay and there would not be unnecessary scenes in your work. I can completely understand and respect the disinterest in the UNinteresting parts of a story, but I would argue that some of those scenes are necessary. While the 'quiet' scenes may be boring, both for the author and the reader, sometimes those mundane moments slow the story down enough so that it doesn't seem that it's flying by and it gives glimpses into parts of the character we wouldn't see otherwise.
Character Development: 18/20
You don't try to rush your character development too much or even the relationship dynamic between characters which I feel is a good quality. I like that. I would suggest possibly lengthening the time in which Ave distrusts Lynn. I understand that he's offering her a haven of sorts, however, it was almost as though because of that she willingly tossed aside all of her previous prejudice and distrust.
Writing style: 10/10
You were very good at describing the people as well as the setting which helped to place myself within the story and there was never a dull moment.
Grammar, spellings, etc.: 5/10
There are a number of spelling mistakes as well as grammatical errors that need to be fixed throughout the story. Have you ever thought of using something like Grammarly? I use Google Chrome and was able to download their extension for free. They do have a service you can pay for, but the free one is enough to help catch many of the spelling and grammatical mistakes. It may be something to consider as I know that it has helped me quite a bit.
Genre relevance: 10/10
You have a perfectly dark setting for a thriller/romance with a bit of action tossed in.
Overall: 96/100
In Act I Part 2, you include a little comic page and I loved it. I could very much see this as a graphic novel and I think it would do even better that way. Especially as you're shooting for the screenplay type of writing and not wanting to include unnecessary scenes.
Overall, I'd say take a hard look at the spelling and grammatical errors, consider Grammarly or possibly something similar (maybe evening seeing if any of the editing shops on Wattpad has someone who would help?). Your story is original and very intriguing. I look forward to viewing more of your work in the future.
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Please contact your reviewer if you have any questions! Thank you for working with us! We hope these comments will help you improve your story and give you a sense of achievement for writing such a wonderful story.
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