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❄ Unchained - The Doppelganger Within | Kalavatti ❄

Reviewed by: Kalavatti

Book Title: Unchained - The Doppelganger Within

Genre: Thriller

Author's name: Dastanblades_writer

Chapters Reviewed: 5 Chapters

Cover: 7/10 The graphic is absolutely stunning but the major problem is with the presentation of the title. At first, I mistook your name as the book name. I suggest that you decrease the font size of your name and increase the font size of "Unchained" as it appears to be a subtitle at first. Apart from that, the title and author's name stand out nicely, though I wonder if a touch more contrast might make them pop even more.

Title: 10/10

Blurb/Description: 9/10 You start strong with an attention-grabbing hook for fans of thrillers and Marvel-style action. This draws readers in right away. Presenting Matt's dilemma right off the bat makes the narrative compelling. The question about facing his bully creates an immediate emotional connection. The stakes are clear with Matt's decision potentially affecting an entire city. Introducing Jacob as the antagonist and leader of the Cobra clan adds a layer of danger and tension. The idea of a Doppelgänger adds a supernatural twist that distinguishes your story from typical thrillers. This can intrigue readers who enjoy a mix of fantasy and action. Mentioning Matt's crew gives a sense of camaraderie and support, hinting at dynamic relationships and teamwork within the story.

Though your blurb is exceptionally well-written, I still feel it a bit lacking. Here are a few suggestions that'll help you improve it:

· Consider breaking the blurb into shorter, punchier sentences for better readability and impact.

· Maybe a tiny bit more about Matt's background or motivations would help deepen the emotional hook.

· Instead of explaining that Jacob is no longer just a bully, maybe hint at his evolution in a more mysterious way.

Time Interval between Chapter Updates: 7/10 Well, it's good to constantly update but you see, being too often isn't much good either, especially for thriller based stories. I saw that your first 7 chapters were updated on a single day. Well, I suppose updating 2-3 chapters on a single day and then updating one chapter or 2 chapters in a week would have been a much better strategy. This would have properly introduced the plot in the first 2 chapters and then created anticipation and allowed the cliffhangers to settle in the remaining chapters.

Releasing 7 chapters in one go might overwhelm readers and diminish the tension that builds with each release. Thrillers thrive on suspense and anticipation, and spreading out updates helps maintain that grip on your audience. Staggering the chapters allows each cliffhanger to settle in, keeping your readers excited and coming back for more.

Though what's done is done, I suggest that you do not repeat this again and maintain consistency in chapter updates.

Character Introduction
I felt that this chapter needed a separate review as it requires some changes unique to it.

Firstly, introducing all characters in a single chapter is basically info dump. I suggest you only introduce the Main Characters in it and introduce the rest of the characters as the story progresses. Though it might seem that not introducing thee characters before the main story starts would end up confusing the audience as you choose to not reveal the identity of the character in the story itself, but I suggest you could add brackets or maybe author notes before / after the chapter and introduce them there (it's only for the side characters or the characters with not so important role).