Reviewed By: CroodsGirl
Title: A Ballad of Falling Light
Author: XxFaylinexX
Criteria:
Title: 5/5
Cover: 5/5
Blurb: 8/10
Plot: 8/10
Grammar/Vocabulary: 17/20
Writing Craft: 15/20
Characters: 15/20
Overall Enjoyment: 7/10
Total: 80/100
Review:
This impressive High Fantasy story carries good world-building, grammar, lore, and characters. However, I could not enjoy it entirely because of the few issues I noticed. The two main ones are "telling over showing" and lack of description, which cost points in the Writing Craft category.
While I understand the book is a story being told, it still reads as High Fantasy, meaning you must build the world better. You cannot rely on the audience to review the world map and have them picture the world; you need to create it yourself. Currently, you hit us with many different world locations but no descriptions of what they look like. Therefore, I cannot see this fantastic world you're conjuring, and I would love to. This leads to the lack of the "show, don't tell" rule. You spend too much time describing the lore and world instead of showing it, and that needs to change, meaning you need to re-write the first five chapters and flip these issues.
Regardless, grammar was impressive, aside from the occasional flip from past to present tense and second point of view. Considering how many characters you have, you chose a good point of view for this story; however, you need to bring everything to life better and not bore your audience with all the lore and backstory.
Other than this, this was an awe-inspiring Fantasy story, and I'm optimistic it will go somewhere if you keep working on it. Well done, author!
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