Versailles Series Book 10: The Reporter [ONGOING]

CHAPTER 4

2 years later...

S A V A N N A H

My hands shook as I held the pregnancy test result. It's a positive. Napayuko ako sa may lababo. Ilang beses na ba ito nangyari sa akin? Countless disappointments taught me not to celebrate too early. Somehow, my pregnancies get jinxed. Or maybe I'm just unlucky. Maybe something really is wrong with me. The more it happens, the more I start to believe it.

I threw the test in the garbage after wrapping it in toilet paper. I'll wait for my first trimester to be over before I tell them about it. At least if I get another miscarriage, it would save me from another humiliation. I can grieve on my own without everybody coddling me. I looked at the mirror and tried to smile, for the first time, I felt a tinge of happiness in this sham of a marriage. Stay with Mommy, please. I looked up to pray to whoever was up there. Don't take it away, please. Let me have this child. I will take care of it with my life. I promise to be the best mother to my child.

Weeks have passed and the bump is slowly making an appearance. I don't know if I'll thank Joshua for being less affectionate because he doesn't touch me as much as before so he isn't asking me about it. We only have sex just for the sake of having it. Sometimes, I feel like he enjoys his hand more than when he is inside me. During our last lunch with his parents and my parents, they didn't notice it either since I've been wearing loose dresses since my first pregnancy.

When the time came that I'd gathered up enough courage to confirm it, I went to a new OB-gyne. Somehow, I want this pregnancy to be different. I switched doctors, something my husband didn't know. I'm feeling more positive despite still having reservations.

I sat outside the OB-gyne office with my shaking hands. It's not good that I didn't go here sooner but fear crippled me. This doctor is one of the best in the metro and even if I have to travel for two hours to have my check-up with her, I am willing to travel.

I glanced at the woman beside me who seemed to have a bigger bump than me. I wonder if I would even get to that stage. What if I miscarry on my sixth month? Seventh month? What if my child has complications? The woman seemed to notice me staring at her tummy.

I glanced down. "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare."

Kumunot ang noo nito at hinawakan ang kamay ko. "You look worried. Are you okay? Is anybody with you?" Luminga-linga pa ito na tila hinahanap ang kasama ko.

I gave her a small smile and shook my head. "W-wala. Wala akong kasama."

"First-time mom?" Her smile seemed to warm me up on the inside.

"I don't know. I...miscarried a few times at this point. I don't even know if this child will survive."

She squeezed my hand. "Your child will power through. His mom is brave enough to come here alone. I bet the kid will get some of that bravery."

"Salamat." Her kindness brought a small smile to my face.

She looked down at her belly. "I'm in my sixth month now. How far are you?"

My cheeks reddened. "I...don't know. I didn't have a check-up since I found out I was pregnant."

Her eyes dropped on my bump, her eyes warm and soft. "I understand. You must be scared to experience it all over again."

I nodded. "I don't feel the most optimistic right now."

"I can come with you if you want."

Umiling ako ng mariin. "Hindi na...nakakahiya. Ayokong maabala ka. Saka hindi mo naman ako kilala."

"You look familiar though. But that's beside the point." Nagkibit-balikat ito. "What I meant was, you need someone with you, especially on your first appointment. And who knows, baka maging mag-best friend ang mga anak natin. We'll see each other here often."

I smiled. "Thank you. I may need someone with me." Pag-amin ko. It's sad and weird enough that I am attending my first OB appointment with a stranger.

Nilingon nito ang bagong dating na lalaki na mukhang asawa nito. Maaliwalas din ang gwapong mukha nito. "Seems like you made another friend. Why am I not surprised?" He gave her a kiss on the forehead before sitting beside her. Sa pagkakasabi nito, mukhang hindi ito ang unang beses na nakipagkaibigan ang asawa sa hindi nito kilala. He smiled at me.

She turned to her husband and squeezed his arm. "I told her I'll go with her inside honey. I think she goes in first anyway."

"Okay. I'll wait here."

Nang tawagin ang pangalan ko ay sinamahan nga ako ng babae sa loob. She helped me with some questions I forgot to ask like lifestyles changes and diet.

"Oh wow. Look, Savannah. You have two sacs here. You're going to have twins."

I placed my hand on my mouth. Tears started flowing out of my eyes. As fast as happiness surged through me, fear tore it all apart. Losing one child in a miscarriage broke a part of me, losing something in me in the process. But twins...losing twins...it's all double. Double the loss, double the pain.

"Savannah?"

I looked at her and the doctor. "W-What if I lose my children like I lost my first ones?"

The doctor smiled at me. "I was worried when you didn't come to see a doctor as soon as you found out about it. But I am happy to tell you right now, you're healthy and so are the babies. I don't see any complications so far. Mahigpit naman ang kapit nila. What I'm worried about is you're a bit underweight. Are you alright at home?"

I nodded. "I guess I have to eat healthier now."

"I can show you what I've been eating in the past months. It helped me gain the weight I needed for my pregnancy." She offered.

"Salamat."

After the check-up, I felt lighter and more positive. She gave me her number so I could call and text if I had any questions. Now in the car, I drove to my parents' house. As usual, their worried looks greeted me. To their surprise, I hugged them both tightly.

"Savannah, are you okay?"

I sat down with my mother's hand on mine. "I'm pregnant, Mama." I placed her hand on my tummy. I felt her find the bump and caress it gently.

"Diyos ko..." Ngumiti ito na may luha sa mga mata.

"Twins, Mama. Dalawa ang magiging anak ko."

Niyakap ako nito ng mahigpit. "Naku, anak. Sana ito na. Sana hindi na sila mawala sa atin."

Parang may pumiga sa puso ko sa isiping pwede pa rin silang bawiin sa akin. "It would break me to lose them, Mama."

"You won't, Savannah," she said in a hushed tone.

"Have you told your husband yet?" Tanong ni Papa.

I shook my head. "I wanted to surprise him. He's going to be so happy. I can already see it."

"Kung kailangan kita ipagluto araw-araw para bumalik ang timbang mo, gagawin ko."

I hugged my mother. "I know you're busy in the office."

Napatawa ito. "Para sa iyo naman, anak. Saka nami-miss ka na namin. Sana bumalik na ang dating sigla mo. I want you to know I'm here. Your Papa and I are here."

Napatingin ako sa itaas nang dumaan ang panganay kong kapatid na si Delilah. She just looked at me but the usual angst in her eyes wasn't there anymore. Ever since I had my first miscarriage and after being clinically diagnosed as depressed, she didn't look as angry at me anymore despite still not talking to me.

"Halika na. Samahan mo akong maghanda."

I smiled at my parents as they pulled me to the kitchen. Being at home somehow puts me more at ease.