THE EDGE OF THE UNIVERSE

CHAPTER 18: MOTHER

A couples of weeks later, I met my mother for dinner. After we had our dessert, she took a deep breath and started talking.

"Marc, there is something I need to tell you." I frowned.

"Uh, okay, what is going on?"

"There's no easy way to say this, so here it goes. I am going to turn off my switch."

"Excuse me? What are you talking about?"

"It's time, honey. As you know, both of my dogs are gone, along with many of my friends. My work doesn't fulfil me anymore, and life hasn't been the same since your father passed away. My time here on this Earth is done."

"Mom, please, you can't do that! I'm still here!"

"Oh sweetie, you will be just fine without me. After everything you've been through, you found your path again and didn't lose faith. You've become a wonderful human being, and now it's time for you to live your life! I had mine, filled with countless great memories, and I've lived many years, achieving so much. Evrything must come to an end eventually, and I want it to be on my terms."

I couldn't believe my mother wanted to die. She was given this incredible gift a long time ago, and is now throwing it away, just like that - especially now that I had won my switch! But maybe, after all this time, one simply grows tired of life. And she had indeed led an interesting life. She always cared for the less fortunate, whether human or animal. She spent many years in poor areas rebuilding what remained after the bomb. She took in countless strangers and friends and always looked after my father and me. I suppose she deserves to leave on her own terms.

"I can't say I understand your decision, but I respect it," I said, taking her hands into mine and squeezing them gently.

"When are you going to do it, how much time do we have left together?"

"I can't tell you that honey, it will just happen one day, as it does in real life."

I returned home with a heavy heart. I was lying in my bed, eyes wide open staring at the ceiling. I couldn't sleep and thought about death that night. Why is it such a terrible thing? It seems worse for those left behind than for the person who is gone. Humans are born and die every second of every day, it is the natural cycle of life. Yet, it remains one of the strangest and most painful experiences I have faced in my entire life. How can someone be here one moment and gone the next? What does it feel like to take your last breath?

Joanna had her whole life ahead of her. I often imagine her growing up, getting married, and having children of her own. She was tragically torn from life and will never have those experiences - at least not in her human form. Perhaps she is somewhere else right now and is having all she ever wanted. Grace was gone too soon as well. My Gracie, the love of my life. If she hadn't died so young, we would have been together until the end, I know it. There is no doubt in my mind that we were meant for each other, two souls combined in one. I saw us together, old and grey, with wrinkles across our faces and age spots on our hands. Sometimes, I have a guilty conscience towards Marysa for thinking of Grace that much.

People are so afraidof dying that they invented a mechanism to prevent it. How can technology be soadvanced these days, that it can alter your cells and even your own DNA? Howfar we might have come if the bomb hadn't devastated our world 2,000 years ago?We would all probably be cyborgs by now. I thought about my mother dying, aboutMarysa, Neo, James and Rebecca - everyone I care about. If I were to get theswitch, I would witness all of them pass away while I remained. Do I truly wantthat? Yet, I would also meet new people along the way, just as my mother did. Ishould make an appointment for my switch at Orvis soon, even thoughMarysa isn't entirely supportive. But this is my life, my decision. Maybe I'lleven get a switch for Carl while I'm there.