THE EDGE OF THE UNIVERSE

CHAPTER 20: GOODBYE

Almost two years had passed since I received my switches, and I was feeling incredible. I had all this energy and didn't know what to do with it. I started doing extreme sports, I went bungee jumping, skydiving, canyoning, did several marathons and climbed many mountains. I even splurged on the most expensive bicycle and did tours across the country. My physique had transformed; I looked ripped, and I couldn't deny that I relished the attention it brought.

Yet, despite my newfound vitality, my relationship with Marysa had taken a downturn. Ever since I got the switch, she had been acting differently towards me. I couldn't pinpoint the cause - was it jealousy, or perhaps a sense of boredom in our shared life? Whatever it was, things felt strained, and even the cats seemed to sense the tension, no longer getting along as they once did. To be fair, I wasn't the most attentive partner either. I was constantly chasing the next thrill, often absent from home, lost in my own pursuits.

I couldn't share the feeling that something was off- something wrong or fundamental was missing, like it was not working properly all this time. I didn't feel physically sick but I just couldn't shake that feeling off that I needed to do something more with my life. Since getting the switches, a voice in my head urged me to seek for more, to find purpose in the eternity that stretched before me. I was invincible, untouched by accidents, and even if the worst happened, I could always be brought back from the dead. It was an inexplicable sensation, difficult to articulate.

One evening, after coming home from work, I found Marysa sitting at the dinner table, the absence of dinner serving as a silent warning. My instincts told me this wasn't going to end well.

"Hey, Marc..."

"Hi. What's up? Are we not having dinner tonight?"

"We need to talk."

"I don't like the sound of that," I replied, a knot forming in my stomach.

"Me neither, but we have to."

I took a seat across from her, reaching for her hand, but she quickly pulled away.

"Marc, I think you know deep down that our relationship isn't what it used to be. It feels like we're heading in different directions, and I'm not part of your journey anymore. You seem distant, always searching for something outside of us, without considering my thoughts and feelings."

Pause.

I didn't know what to say at first, and I knew I hadn't been the best partner to Marysa, but I also had to admit that I wasn't inclined to change. I was content with my life as it was is right now - thriving, filled with adventure, regardless of whether Marysa was a part of it. I offered no reply.

"I can't do this anymore. I'm moving out." Marysa expression was a mix of sadness and anger.

"Marysa, honey... I hear you, but you don't understand. It's like I was reborn when I got my switch. I have this boundless energy, all the time in the world, and the determination to pursue whatever I want."

"But why can't we do it together?"

"I don't know. I somehow feel like you'd hold me back. I know that you're not really an adrenaline junkie."

"We can do other things together! You don't have to jump out of an airplane to enjoy life!"

"I know, but maybe I just don't want to be tied down to anyone right now..."

"You know what Marc, it's not just right now! It's always! I can't blame you for the death of your wife, but a part of you died that night as well. You were never fully present with me, I always felt that. Sure, we hit it off in the beginning, but I think you were just looking for someone to fill the void and I was convenient for that! There is always someone or something else on your mind. I need a partner who is all in, one hundred percent, no exceptions."

I couldn't contradict her on that.

"I can't give you what you need, Marysa. I'm sorry."

She looked sad, angry and confused, all at once. I just sat there at the dinner table, staring at nothing in front of me. She stood up.

"Aren't you even gonna fight for me? Can't you at least say you'll try to change? That we can make this work between us?"

I didn't replay. A tear rolled down her cheek.

"... I will get my things next week when you're at work. Goodbye Marc."

I wanted to give her a hug or say something meaningful, but the words didn't come. To be honest, I didn't even feel much at the moment.

"Goodbye, Marysa."

She placed Daisy inher carrier and left. I remained in the dining room, thinking about my liferight now and what this meant for my future. Strangely, a weight seemed to liftoff my shoulders. Perhaps both of us would be happier apart. I could dowhatever I wanted, free from the constraints of anyone else's feelings, and shedeserved someone who would be fully present for her. The only responsibility Ihad now was for Carl. Back to how it was - just me and him, that furry littleorange bastard.