dukes 💭
i fucked up yea i know but even tho i can have any girl in the world, i would rather have kayla. shes with fanum yea but i knew her first and i never wanted to get between them but the heart wants what it wants.
when kayla said " duke not even about to sugar coat it, grow the fuck up been told u this im with fanum and forever will be, one day u will fine a bitch but the bitch is not me and will never be me". i thought about what she said but it quickly was clouded with my other thoughts.
kayla is my best friend but i want to be more than friends. i always have, i never wanted to stay friends but she is with fanum and there is nothing i can do about it. i wish i could do something about it.
there was many days i wanted to tell her. like her first night at the amp house i wanted to tell her how i wanted to go about it, i couldn't bring myself to. there's something about her that makes me so nervous so i never had the balls to tell her.
i love that girl and theres no way i can ever have her. she with someone else and that person happens to be one of my good friends. i hate that i feel like this but i cant help it.
- end of 💭-
dukes pov
im in my room just laying on the bed and looking at the ceiling while music plays on my speakers. i was thinking and thinking. i dont know i feel so lost and confused.
as im looking at the ceiling i feel a wet touch on my face and i wipe it away, not even noticing that im crying. "man what the fuck" i said to myself.
i got up out of bed and started to pace around my room just thinking. the constant thought of kayla could kill me.
i sat back down while rubbing my hands on my face. i got on my computer. as im watching youtube videos and i felt a tap on my shoulder. i turn around and it was agent. i took off my headset.
"wassup agent" i said while trying to not look upset. " duke are u ok" agent asked, that "are u ok" as i felt the tears in my eyes i took a deep breath. "yea gang im ok" i said, i look at agent and he wasnt buying it. "ok ok no im not ok, is that what u want me to say?" i said. agent sat on my bed "duke im just asking because u seem hurt, u know u can talk to me right?" he said.
"yea i know but i really dont want to talk right now" i said. agent nodded as he got up and went towards the door. " ok im downstairs if u need to talk" agent said. i nodded and he left the room.
"i wish i could leave" i thought but knowing we have a amp shoot tomorrow i couldn't just leave. i got up from my desk and layed in bed and started scrolling on tiktok.
-next day
i woke up to my phone ringing. i picked it up and it was kai calling. "yo gang, u up?" kai said, "mm yea im up" i said as i put the phone down and closed my eyes. " ok we waiting for u nigga come on" he said. "alr here i come" i said.
i got up and just picked a shirt, some sweatpants , a jacket and put on some slides. i walked out of my room and i seen fanums door open. i looked for a quick second and i seen kayla in bed, i stopped and took a deep breath. "i need to leave" i thought to myself.
i walked downstairs and went into the living room where everyone was. "finally, ok duke u riding with us or nah" agent asked, i cleared my throat " nah i'll drive i have leave after the shoot anyway" i said.
everyone got up and we left out the door.
-after amp shoot
im on my way to south carloina and it feels good to leave atlana i felt like i was in a box and couldnt get out.
- meanwhile back at the amp house
fanums pov
im in the living room with kai and chris, we just chilling and talking. "so was i the only one noticing that duke was off today" kai said, "ngl bro i felt his energy off just a little" chris said. honestly didnt even peep if duke was off today.
"what makes u say that?" i asked. kai looked up from his phone "because bro how his body language was the whole time, i did ask him was he ok but he brushed me off" kai said. " u dont think that whole thing with kayla is why is he acting like this, do u?" chris said. maybe it is, feel bad for duke honestly. even though this is not the first time he overstepped.
"mm maybe, im gonna check on him later" i said. whatever it is i never want it to come between me and the bros so ill hit him up and make sure he's straight.
end of pov
dukes pov
i made it home finally. im in my room laying in bed watching law n order my favorite show. i think i just need to be alone for a week or 2. while watching law n order im eating some green grapes. my phone was on dnd i didnt want to be bothered the only person that could call me was my mom because im there whenever she needs me.
as im laying here something told me to check my phone so i did. i had 5 missed calls, one from each amp member. I called agent because he's the only person i would want to talk too. " agent everything good, why all of yall call me" i said. " ohh fanum asked everyone to call u because he wanted to talk to u" agent said. i was confused why did fanum want to talk to me?, did i do something? i thought to myself. " did he say why he wanted to talk to me" i asked. " nah he didnt say, just call him" agent said. " alright" i said. the phone hung up.
after i got off the phone with agent i clicked on fanum contact and started to call him. " u called me" i asked. " yea bro, u good? cause kai was saying that u seem off today at the shoot" fanum said. whole time im thinking fanum dont want to talk to me or doesnt even care how i feel but, he called and checked up on me. " i mean no but u know im going to get back right" i said, " u know even tho with all the shit that happen with kay, u still my mans duke if u need anything just hit me" fanum said.
" alr bet i will" i said. " alr later" fanum said. after the phone call i felt better honestly but i still need to stay away for awhile to get my head right.
end of pov.
kaylas pov
been thinking alot about what happen. i felt like i went to far, i shouldve never said what i said but what is done is done. even though duke still having feelings for me isnt ok, i still feel so bad for him because he is such a good person. hoping he is feeling ok truly, i feel so bad.
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also mb for not publishing, im in college and im doing what i can😃
