few weeks later
kayla's pov
i woke up from a nap and fanum was sitting at his set up while on his phone. i went to the bathroom to pee. once i got done washing my hands i walked back into the room and seen fanum with his head down.
i walked towards him, "whats wrong" i asked he kept his head down for a second, he lifted his head with tears going down his face. ive never seen fanum cry like never.
"what happened? tell me whats wrong" i said. he was finding the words to say because he was really upset. " my.. oh my god, one of my childhood friends was shot.. and killed yesterday" he said, i wiped his tears then hugged him tight.
"im sorry" i said as i hugged him. he was really sad i wish i could do more then just be here for him.
end of pov
fanums pov
i have so many mixed emotions right now, cant even seem to stop crying. "why me" i thought, i always get that call that someone died. i just talked to bro a few days ago shit is crazy. my friend jay was one of my friends i knew since like 1st grade, that fact that i know his is gone is like i lost a brother, well i did i lost a brother. shit sucks bro.
its always me, i never seem to understand. sometimes i feel like its my fault because im never there but i know its not but in my head i see it differently. hate this death shit.
end of pov
-few hours later
kaylas pov
fanum has been trying to keep his mind off of it. i can tell only because he keeps moving around like instead of being sad about it he is trying to get things done. im sitting in bed while he is in a discord meeting, i think the meeting was about d10 his sever.
ive never seen him like this. he keeps telling me "im fine nothing knew everybody dies" but i dont think he is. me and him are going to new york tomorrow night.
he gets up and sits on the bed with his face in his phone. "fanum are u sure ur ok" i said, he turn around "im not ok but i will be" he said. "ok let me know if i need me to do something" i said. he nodded and went back on his phone. i was worried about him, i just kept wondering "whats going on in his head".
-about 30 mins later
"im streaming today, just to let u know" fanum said. i turned around with a worried look on my face, "ok ill go to kai's room, u let me know if u need anything" i said. i got up and gave him a hug "ok, i love u" he said, i smiled " i love u more" i said as i walked out the door.
i walked down the stairs and bused into kais room. "kayla wtf bro" kai said. i walked towards him and sat next to him on the bed. "kai do u thunk fanums going to be ok" i asked while bouncing my leg. kai looked at me "i think so he always does" he said.
"kai he's streaming, is that something u do when u want to get ur mind off stuff too" i said, kai got up "yea mostly but after stream i usually hate myself for ignoring my problems" he said, damn i just feel so bad but theres nothing i can do.
"kai never hate yourself, ur a good person there's never a good reason for u hate yourself" i said, kai smiled "im sure fanum will be straight he just needs time" he said. kai gave me a little bit of a better understanding of why fanums streaming.
"kai u streaming today?" i asked "nah today is my thinking day" he said. "great, im watching fanum stream at ur setup" i said, i got up from the bed and went to sit at his setup.
i went on twitch and clicked fanum stream and put on kai's headset.
end of pov
- 4 hours later
fanums pov
"alright chat, i love yall so much and ill catch yall later safety, safety" i said as i waved goodbye. after my outro song was over i clicked stop streaming.
i was in my head the whole time while streaming. i just gotta keep my mind off of it.
i got up and went downstairs to see if kay was downstairs but she wasnt. i went downstairs to check kais room. i walked in and kai was sitting at his desk. "kai where kay at?" i asked kai pointed at his bed "she sleeping on my bed" he said.
i walked over to her to see her sleeping. i picked her up and took her upstairs i didnt want to wake her up so i carried her.
i opened my room door then i put her in the bed and put covers over her. i went to the bathroom to take a shower.
-skip routine-
after my shower i went to my closet to grab some clothes then put them on. i got into bed with kay and just started to think about my friend but then i had also be happy with the people i have in my life awell.
i dont know how to feel but i have to keep moving forward with my life no matter what.
i pulled kay closer to me. "fanum are u ok" she asked with her sleepy voice. i love how much she cares "yes baby im ok" i said. "ok i just wanted to make sure" she said.
im so grateful that i have her, truly dont know what ill do without her.
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also lmk if i had some grammar issues😭
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