One of 10 - Nicole Lee Snsd

20.Forever 1

"Forever 1! It's love it's love.."wait a second is gonna take second "like Hyoyeon would say.
For our anniversary that August of 2021 we managed to get together and celebrate. 
All of us tested negative and we used alcoholic hand sanitizer up to our elbows.

I did manage to go visit my mom who got cancer,I flew home quarantined took negative tests and then I drove up to the house.Still we never hugged, being in the same room was great but not being able to touch was almost worse. Still we had pizza delivered and watched a movie. Talking about how obvious the plot was and for an hour and a half in the dark room everything was back to normal.

The same thing happened when I re-entered Korea.The tests and all the paperwork made me feel like a criminal wanted by the Interpol. When I came back to Korea school was my main priority and I decided to fly over to Japan and try the Japanese language tests. 
I scored great on the test and I was now able to get hired to do any job in Japan or enter any university level course without difficulty.

I contacted the UNICEF and I wanted to be a mental health ambassador.They didn't reply for a long time but eventually reached out and said that the post had been filled by Super Junior member Siwon.Only this wasn't true because Siwon is an ambassador for HEALTH and anti bullying, What I asked for didn't exist.I had a meeting with them and brought up my thoughts and feelings.At the meeting Siwon was present.I said that the reason a lot of teenagers have poor mental health is because the school structure is very harsh.In other countries kids in 5th grade have school for about 6 to 7 hours.In South Korea it's 8 hours with expected afterschool studying rooms and such making it 10 hours every day.I even brought up "Sky Castle " as an example.

I also brought up that it should be mandatory for every single high school to have a nurse trained in mental health who is notified by a teacher if a student is going through something. Many kids feel like they can't tell any adult they are wrong because we live in a society in Asia where elders are always right.Punishment with flogging was acceptable in Korea.Right after the meeting was over Siwon put me in his car and we continued the discussion at a cafe.I always like" Ever since Sulli,Jonghyun I have been thinking kpop contracts should be banned for teenagers under 17".Or "I think Sulli law and Go Hara act should be brought to more attention" I think people found it really refreshing that I could speak like that.

Eventualley they understood that it was different and I became an ambassador . I visited the coastguard who patrol the Han river.I sat there with them at the headquarters where they had cameras up. We talked for about 20 min when an alarm went off. A woman had just jumped off a bridge.I ran after them and saw them jump on a boat.

The woman was saved luckily.On many of the bridges there are phones connected directly to a healthline that always picks up but sometimes people avoid those. One night I asked if I could do the night patrols they do and patrol the bridges and close areas.I was given a course in crisis management and I refreshed my CPR memory.One evening I went out patroling and Siwon came with me.We walked with wests on over our jackets and with flashlights in hand.
It was nice of him to be there.At least somebody cared as much as I did.

In 2020 Taeyeon's father passed away in a heart attack.
On her birthday.I was speechless.Key from SHINee's grandmother passed on his birthday as well.When you hear something like that you think it's a thing that happens to 1 in a million
I reached out to her quickly and we spoke when she was still in the shock stage.Shock stage is the best time to prepare for the feelings that is about to come.
After the other angels J.S.H  I felt like I was an expert on sudden death. With Sulli I was sad and cried a bit when I went to the funeral and all. But it was when I came across Onew's song "In your eyes" I really cracked.In the piano based ballad Onew sing "I remember the first day we met". This song was the theme song for the drama she did with SHINee's Minho and scenes and memories from happy innocent times of 2012 came back to me.
It's the small thingsthat get you like when you come home ,take off the shoes and see 4 plates on the table instead of 5. I think Tiffany was the one that carefully supported Taeyeon in the way she felt worked.