I'm Only Human. (A Mavi Story)

Not Broken Just Bent

Avi's POV

Seeing tears fall down Mitch's face hurt like hell, and knowing that he was the one who put them there hurt worse.

It took every inch of strength Avi had in him to leave Mitch that night.

Avi held himself together until he closed the front door of their shared hotel room. He slid down the wall to the floor and buried his head in his hands. The weight of what he just did settling heavily on his shoulders.

Avi sat there for awhile unsure of what to do. If he stays with Mitch he ends up hurting him. But if Avi leaves him, Mitch still ends up hurt.

A clean break is for the best, Avi thought to himself, it's what's best for the both of us. But his heart wouldn't accept it. Avi felt tears threatening to spill, but then he felt someone sit down next to him.

"Avi, are you okay?" Kevin asked and placed a hand on Avi's shoulder.

Avi looked over at him as a tear found its way down his cheek. He wiped it away hurriedly and took a stuttering breath.

"No." Avi said while shook his head and looked down at the floor. "No, I don't think so."
_________

Kevin let him stay in his room that night on the most uncomfortable couch Avi's ever had the pleasure of sleeping on. Avi sat up and groaned in pain, his back was killing him. And the messed up part about it was he had slept better on that torture device than he has for the past three weeks.

Kevin came out of the kitchen with an orange in hand and plopped down on the couch. Avi stretched and felt his back crack in, like, five different places. Seriously, who the hell made this couch?

"So.." Kevin said as he peeled his orange, obviously about to lecture Avi.

"Here we go.." Avi mumbled.

"You mind telling me what you were doing in the hallway at 4 in the morning?"

Avi sighed. "I'd rather not."

"Well considering I gave you a place to sleep last night, for the third time this month I might add." Kevin scolded. "I think I deserve an explanation."

"I'm sorry I'd just rather not-" Avi started but was interrupted.

"Oh, AND I got a text from Scott saying that Mitch is so distraught he won't get out of bed." Kevin pulled out his phone. "He says, and I quote, 'Mitch won't leave his blanket burrito and is listening to t-swizzle send reinforcements'. Care to explain?"

Avi groaned and ran a hand over his face. Mitch only pulls out the blanket burrito when he's really upset.

"I messed up okay?" Avi admitted.

"What happened?" Kevin asked, tone lightening with sympathy.

Avi drew a deep breath and gathered his thoughts.

"I've been having these nightmares.." He trailed off, hesitant to tell Kevin.

"About?" Kevin prodded.

"Lisa." Avi said shortly. Kevin was the only friend who knew about what had happened to her, he was Avi's best friend after all.

"Ohh.." Kevin said as nodded in understanding. "I think I get it now." He stood up and put both hands on Avi's shoulders.

"You're an idiot."

Avi's head shot up as he glared at Kevin. That's not what Avi expected from the usually kind man.

"Excuse me?" Avi asked, offended.

"You heard me!" Kevin started pacing around the room angrily. "Did you ever stop to think that, maybe, your fear of losing Mitch is the what pushed him away?!" He stopped in front of Avi and shook his head. "Do you realize just how much this is hurting you. How much it's hurting Mitch?!"

"You think I don't know that?!" Avi pushed Kevin's hands off of him and stood in the middle of the room. "I can't control it, ok? And I know it's hurting him! It's just.." Avi choked back a sob and dropped is arms in defeat. "Every damn night I just- I see her- and- It's just so-"

Kevin walked over to Avi and pulled him into a hug. Avi fell into the embrace and tried to calm himself down.

"I know it hurts. What happened to you is something I could never understand, but you can't bottle this stuff up, man! It'll destroy you." Kevin patted his back and pulled away. "You can't let the past drag you down."

Avi felt guilty. Avi nodded in reply and sat back down on the couch. He knew Kevin was right he just didn't know where to start.

"You know Mitch reminds me so much of her," Avi smiled softly, looking down at his hands. "They have the same laugh."

He thought back to how she used to laugh so freely, and openly, she had such an honest laugh. Even Avi's dumb jokes would make her smile.

Mitch had the same way about him, his laugh just so full of life, it filled Avi to the brim with fondness. It was one of the things that made Avi realize he was in love with him. One time, Avi had made some dumb pun, he honestly doesn't even remember what was so funny about it. But what he does remember is how Mitch had completely lost himself in laughter. He could not stop. Every time he would finally calm down he would bust out giggling agin. Avi had just smiled at him fondly and thought to himself, God I love him.

What happened to them?

"I love him so much, Kev. But I can't just forget her.." Avi trailed off. "She made me a better person and I don't want to forget that."

"I'm not asking you to forget her," Kevin sat back down next to him. "I'm asking you to remember the time you did have with her, cherish each good memory." He stopped and seemed to have come up with an idea. "Think of it this way, if you could go back in time, would you still have wanted to fall in love her? Even if you knew it wouldn't last?"

"Of course I would! She was on of the best things that ever happened to me!"

"Then why are you pushing Mitch away before y'all even had a chance."

Avi sat back on the couch as realization set in.

"Huh...I guess I never thought about it like that." Avi brushed his hair back. He realized that Mitch wasn't something Avi was destined to lose, he was Avi's second chance.

"Wow, um, thanks Kev."

"It's what I'm here for," Kevin patted Avi's leg as he sat up and threw his already forgotten orange away. "Always here to knock some sense into ya."

Avi laughed, he was so glad Kevin was there for him. "Again, thank you Kev."

"You know what we're gonna do!" Kevin exclaimed. "We are going to go, find the absolute best barbecue place in the city," Kevin smiled at how Avi's face lit up at the mention of barbecue. "And after we celebrate your epiphany, then you" He point at Avi for emphasis. "Are going to man up and go apologize to Mitch."

Avi stood up and smiled, Maybe I can fix this.