Never enough || It's all for you

31.5 1/2•Amaya's mind

Chapter 31.5 1/2
Amaya's mind

Amaya's POV

     "I'll be back in a few hours," Yoru tells me before pecking my lips.

     I'm used to him spending nights away from home. It's okay because I still wake up with him holding me tightly against him. Yoru is so tender with me sometimes. He's my giant teddy bear. Even though I know he'll be back, I feel a pinch in my heart tonight. I want him to stay. I want him to cuddle with me and watch TV. I sometimes wish for us to have an everyday life, but I'll never tell him. I can't let him think I'm unhappy with him. It would break him. I look up at him, longing for more time. "Take care," I smile.

     His head tilts, and I can read his mind. He knows I don't feel too well. "What's wrong, sweet cheeks?"

     I love that nickname. I don't know how he came up with it. "Nothing. I wish you didn't have to leave."

     Yoru starts taking his jacket off. "I'll stay with you."

     "No!" I laugh and pull his jacket back on his shoulders. He's so cute. "The clan needs you. Go."

     "My fiancée needs me too. I have priorities."

     I shake my head, rolling my eyes even though I'm smiling. His words remind me that an everyday life wouldn't fit us. No other man would prioritize me more than he does. Even if it existed, I only want him and everything he is. "How could you protect me if you get exiled from the clan? Huh?"

     My handsome fiancé smiles and sighs, cupping my cheeks. "Don't underestimate me, sweet cheeks." He pecks my face and pulls me against him.

     "Go. I'm fine," I say again, tapping on his chest. "Bring rice on your way back, please." Yoru nodded with his hands caressing me. I feel his hands reach intimate places, so I stop him. "You'll be late." He squeezes my ass, and I feel in the mood already. But I said I wanted to go celibate until the wedding. Not happening.

     "It's not time-sensitive. Don't worry," Yoru grins and picks me up, making me squeal.
I want him so bad. I've missed his hands, his lips, his cock in me. But no! I said no! Not until we're married now.!

     "Yoruuuu," I fight a smile and gasp when he kisses my neck right under my ear. He knows it's my weak spot. "St-stop..."

     "Amaya," he calls my name in a way I can't describe. He licks my neck and bites it. "Just a quickie before I go get money," he coos in my ear. "Don't you want it? It's been so long. Your pre-wedding celibacy idea is weird."

     He thinks I'll give in, but his words wake me up. "Come on, Yoru, stop now," I say sternly. He groans loudly and gently puts me down.

     "Why?" he complains.

     "Because it'll feel much better when we do it after. It will be special," I tell him again.

     He looks at me and sighs deeply before pecking my lips. "Alright," he nods and rests his forehead on mine.

     I smile, enjoying his efforts to make me happy. "Thank you. I'll make sure to repay you," I wink at him.

     He groans, looking away. "Don't tempt me again!"

•The next day•

     I knew he'd forget the rice. I want to make a scene he'll remember, but I'm tired. It's midday, and I could barely sleep. I've been too stressed and restless. I can't even paint, and that isn't good. I walk down the street to the Konbini store nearby. "Hello, Yuriko," I waved at the cashier.

     She bows to me, reminding me of my status in this village. I walk in the tiny aisles of the store, looking for that specific brand I like. They often don't have it at this time of the day, so I asked Yoru to get it for me before. But he didn't. Anyway, let me not get upset again. "Miss Sato?" Yuriko calls my name.

     I look at her, already knowing what she'll say. "You don't have it?"

     She smiled and nodded. "I saved a bag for you," she tells me.

     I blink. Is she serious? I walk to the counter, where she pulls out a bag of the rice I like. "You... Really? For me?"

     Yuriko smiled, smacking the bag of rice. "I had a feeling you'd need it because it's been a while since I last saw Mr. Mori buy it," she said proudly.

     My angel. My true angel. I smile at her, genuinely thankful. "Thank you so much, Yuriko," I start, realizing how messed up I must be to feel emotional about a bag of rice. "Oh, wow... My period must be coming soon..."

     Yuriko grins, her eyes disappearing. "Oh? Or maybe a baby?" she jokes. "Should I add a pregnancy test to that?" she chuckles.

     This is the worst joke you could do to me. I've feared pregnancies even before I had sex for the first time. What if I'm pregnant right now? Maybe that's why I'm getting mood swings. Yes, I get those every damn month, but it could be a baby this time. Lord. I'm panicking. And now my belly hurts because the baby can feel that I'm upset with its father. That must be it. "Yes, please."

     Yuriko's eyes widen. "Oh—really? Ok!" she runs to get a test and puts it in the plastic bag. "I should help you carry the bag home. If you're pregnant, you shouldn't carry heavy things!"

     She's right. She's fucking right. "You're right. I should get a driver," I bite my nails nervously. I'm ruining my manicure, but it doesn't matter. They'll grow back faster since I'm pregnant. I heard something like that before—I think. I pull out my phone and call the intern number for a driver.

     After taking my cash, Yuriko carries the not-so-heavy bag outside with me. "Do you want to sit down?"

     Hell yeah! My lower back hurts. It's probably the baby. A driver arrives quickly, and I'm taken back home.

•••

From Kali:
You're not pregnant, Amaya. Chill!

    But how would she know? I put my phone down, nerves rising before I turn the pregnancy test around. I'm in the bathroom at home, and Yuriko is outside the bathroom, cheering for me. "You can do it, Amaya-saaaann!"

     I'm so nervous that I want to throw up. Or maybe that's morning sickness. "Okay..." I sigh and try to calm down. I finally look at the pregnancy test, my heart beating aggressively against my chest—one line.

One line = not pregnant.
Two lines = pregnant.

     I read the instructions for a minute, ensuring I truly understand the results. I've done this countless times, yet I still get confused.

     There is one line, so I'm not pregnant. One line means I'm not pregnant.

     I stare at the test so intensely that I wonder how it doesn't break. It's just one line. Not two lines. One line. Okay. I'm not pregnant. What a relief! Phew! That was close!

     I step outside the bathroom, watching Yuriko still waiting for me. Now I'm embarrassed. How the hell did I get that poor girl into my pregnancy paranoia? Lord, she needs to go back to the store. "I'm not pregnant."

     Yuriko looks a little disappointed, but she tries to hide it. "It's ok, Mrs. Sato. Maybe next time!" She clenches her little fist in encouragement. "I will go back to the store now."

     I let her go and close the door, shaking my head. Why am I like this? I sigh and relax, heading to the couch. "I'm not pregnant..." I stare into the void, wondering how pregnancy denials happen. Do they have negative pregnancy tests? Since they still have a period, it could work, right? With a deep sigh, I pull out my phone, googling if it's possible to have a negative pregnancy test when you're in denial. What? Don't make fun of me... I'm only human. And paranoid...