FUNCTION DISORDER :: VOLUME ONE

15A

Rain knew something was badly wrong when he heard shouting, somewhere outside his window, but that wasn't his priority at that moment.

It's so unfair. They call us monsters but it's freaks like this who are the real monsters.

An ugly white webpage blinked grimly before him while he fought back tears. From its antiquated formatting, it looked like it hadn't been updated in at least a hundred years, but its content was reasonably up-to-date. It displayed a glowing biography of "Dan, the Righteous Saviour of Exodus City", going on and on for several pages, summarising his entire life story, explaining how he liked to "save tragically disadvantaged high-schoolers from Hell", "purge this Godless nation of demonic scum" and "share his boundless love and wisdom with anyone, even if they don't listen." Included on the page was a rather shoddy, poorly-lit photo of Dan, who stood against a grey background of smooth concrete while holding up his cross thing next to his head. He had shorter, neater hair than Rain remembered, and looked serious and mildly uncomfortable, as if he were having a staring contest with the camera.

So much pain and darkness in my cursed blood... I am the Rain that will wash away the wicked poison of people like this.

There was no contact information given, unfortunately. He kept reading regardless.

"We are honoured to have Dan Exodus deliver our 09:45 service every Sunday here at Invergowrie Megachurch. We better see you there."

He picked up his crossbow and strapped it to his back, then grabbed a rumpled cardboard box from underneath his desk. He flipped open the creased lid, revealing some very special custom needles, then shut it again and crammed the entire box into his bag. He slapped a black jumper over the top of it and shut the bag. A silent growl spread across his soft doggo face, left front paw grasping his sleek quiet needle gun, right paw holding his phone as he had his crossbow mounted onto his back.

Syro never did anything wrong, he just wanted to have a good time like the rest of us, and this thing just fucking murdered him. Why? To piss off Kota so they can catch him? I guess that's always been the way of shit. That's us. Vermin demons with short, violent lives, haha. To be thrown away whenever those in charge feel like it. At least when it's my turn to be thrown away, I'll be taking as many other people with me as I can!

RAIN began messaging CJPDJBVGFMKN at 01:05.

RAIN: Hey

CJPDJBVGFMKN: Wuzup?

CJPDJBVGFMKN: You need more whotex already? Hahah, I thought it'd take a while to get through that last batch, lmao.

RAIN: i'm having a problem, actually, like, an unhinged human murderer type problem

CJPDJBVGFMKN: Damn bro.

CJPDJBVGFMKN: Tbh, you've spent all your favours with the House of Love rn after we helpd your buddy escape, so, if you want me to do stuff for you then you gotta pay.

RAIN: That's quite okay with me, my buddy Syro is dead, i dunno even where Kota is and everything's going to shit, how much you want?

CJPDJBVGFMKN: I can sort out your shit.

RAIN: i want to absolutely fuckin DESTROY the guy who did it, that piece of shit Dan Exodus

CJPDJBVGFMKN: Oooo, I know that guy. Real twisted psycho fucker. Ya know, I think Ascher's going after him. I can't help ya personally, but maaaybe, for the right price, I could get Eluvis to recommend you to him.

RAIN: That would be great Eric, or, is it Steve now, i thought you said Steve the other night
CJPDJBVGFMKN: Please, call me Kevin.

CJPDJBVGFMKN: Great. Just Meteom me $100 000 and I'll do it.