Aristoi Achaion [A the song of Achilles fanfiction] 2

Chapter 36

So I let them think what they want. Let them think that I am a woman only accomplished in war. That I am only what they allowed me to be. That I was married to my brother's lover and couldn't even keep him in my bed.

Someone, might say that I have already ruined by life, which I didn't think I did. And when I finally held him in my arms I was completely sure. My son was born when the leaves were turning brown and breeze grew chill. At a time when Demeter's daughter had already gone to the underworld to her husband.

It was easier than I expected and both Patroclus and Machaon were there but I still felt like someone was missing. I needed her, Briseis was my dearest friend and I knew holding her hand would give me strength. I believe it's a condition of womanhood, to need each other in difficult times. It's a deeper connection men wouldn't understand.
So I sent a messanger to Agamemnon to ask if she could come for a while to assist me and assure him that she will be soon be brought back. I was beyond thankful when I saw her entering the tent.

He was born healthy and strong, with a bit of brown hair on the top of his head and bright eyes I couldn't figure out the color of yet. My guess though, is that they would turn out to be like mine.
A/N: fan fact: no one is born with green eyes, in fact, most newborns appear to have blues eyes.

"What do you think we should name him?" Patroclus asked, unable to take his eyes off of him as he rested in his arms.
"Timaeus." I spoke. "As I am sure he should be an honourable man, just like his father"
He blushed slightly. "I only did what I had to" he whispered.
"We've talked about this" I reminded him.
A/N:

It derives from the Greek word timi(τιμή) pronounced "tim-EE"

Out little boy gave me hope like nothing ever had and perhaps ever will. For him, I would fight, not like I did in the war. Not to win, but to protect. To save him from all the evil things in the world.
I knew he wouldn't be of noble status, not a prince. A child belong's to their father's line but to me all that matters is that he is mine. And I am sure that I and Patroclus will ensure he will be safe and loved.
"Is she alright?" My brother's voice sounded worried
"They both are" Patroclus ensured him.
I am quite certain I heard some cheering and words of congratulation before I drifted to sleep.

**
Achilles's pov

It was a few days after the birth of my nephew and my sister had thankfully had a speed recovery. The wave of relief that washed over me when Patroclus told me she was alright was immensive. I had prayed for her of course, just like we all did.
She had gone on a walk with a few of the girls and so the baby was staying on the tent with us. Gods, it was weird knowing who he is. My nephew but also my lover's child. Patrocleides, they will call him and the word send a shiver down my spine.
I had no hate for him of course, I just ignored him.

Perhaps he made me feel uncomfortable because he reminded me of my own. I knew very well I could have done more than just let the world know he is my son, I could have asked mother to let me see him but something wouldn't let me...Call it ego or fear.
Someone might say my situation with that girl was similar to the one that unfolded here but it is far from the truth. Patroclus and Alcippe has known each other for years, I barely knew her. I agreed to sleep with her just because I wanted to be found. Is this a valid reason of why I have never reached out to my son? I do not know but it's a story I tell myself whenever I have doubts.

It was good, spending time with Patroclus. We feel the same again not just out feelings for one another but also the trust. The trust we thought was gone, we have managed to lit it up again, it had reappeared like a spark.

Timaeus was sleeping soundly as we talked about foolish dreams and crafting songs we could sing by the fire.
"Oh, I have to go feed the dogs, perhaps you could watch over him?"
We had nine,and would often bring them to battle.
That answer provoked a feeling of anxiety inside me but I agreed right away.
He promised he would he back soon and I tried to calm myself by thinking about the fact that he usually just sleeps around this time, so the odds of him waking up seemed almost non-existent.
Well, almost turned out to be a key word.
He begun crying a few moments later, almost sounding like a puppy. I panicked, it could be anything. I walked over and stood above him.
"It's okay, don't cry" I whispered.
"You don't have to cry" I pleaded.
He wouldn't stop and it was only getting louder so I gathered all my courage -yes,me Achilles who had killed dozens of men- and managed to hold him.
I tried to gently rock him, praying I was doing it correctly. He thankfully calmed down soon enough and that's when Patroclus walked in.
His eyes softened at the sight and guessing from his "It's alright, don't worry" my cheeks probably flashed.
"Well, I think it's better that you should take him" I got closer and softly placed him on his father's arms.