Aristoi Achaion [A the song of Achilles fanfiction] 2

Chapter 33

We turned around but said nothing. We moved slightly away from each other.
"Ask me what?" Achilles repeated.
He took a step closer.
"I asked you something, is neither of you going to reply?" His voice more intimidating this time. I knew it, the end was coming. He will soon know. I felt like Typhon, all though, there was no real weight on my chest.
"Brother..." I managed. Sweat was running down Patroclus's face.
"Are you two alright or?" He shrugged, a hint of irony.
I opened my mouth but couldn't find the right words.
"It's not going to be easy but allow me to explain, please Achilles" Patroclus spoke, almost begging.
"Well, seeing you hold my sister's hand was certainly unexplainable" he spat.
"I need you to listen to us before jumping into conclusions" I felt like my voice could break at any time.
"Alright then" he pouted.
"The night after we last saw you...We slept together" i finally let the words come out of my mouth.
My brother let out a bitter laugh.
"Is this some sort of joke? How long did you take to plan it?" He still has a grin on his face. Which soon faded when he noticed our expressions.
"Come on, end it now I laughed enough"
"I really wish this was all a joke" Patroclus said with teary eyes. He loved Achilles for than anything, him having to find out shattered him.
"Its true, Achilles" I confirmed.
My brother's eyes widened, filled with hatred,a wild glow to them I hadn't seen before.
A few moments passed before he spoke again. Most likely because his feelings were louder than his thoughts.
"You loved all along didn't you?"
I struggled to meet his gaze.
"I asked you! Eleven years ago I did, sister! I asked if you liked him and you denied it!"
"I did it because I wished for you to be happy" I explained. It was nothing but the truth.
"Bullshit!" He was infuriated.
I wished for the earth to swallow me whole and to quickly destroy me.
"And you..." He turned to Patroclus.
"You know I wouldn't have minded had it been any of the girls, but my own sister?" His voice almost broke.
"Forgive me, I still..." Patroclus couldn't finish the sentence.

"Oh, don't start! Don't tell me you still love me!" His words when through Patroclus like a knife. He did love him, he always will, I know he would.

"I have only realized what a fool I've been!" his face with was contorted with rage I had never seen him like that, not even when he fought with Agamemnon.

"Do you know why I came here? Do you have any idea why?! Because I wanted things to go back to how they were. So we could be together again. Because I realized that it was impossible to live without you, I guess I'll have to learn how." He was looking at him with disgust

"If you wish for my blessing to be together fine, you have it! Just don't dare talk to me again!" He made clear.
"There is more" i tried to hold myself together.
"More?" He scoffed. "I wouldn't like to hear it"
There was no easy way to say it so I just did.
"And for that, we agreed to get married" I took a breath. Patroclus barely stood next to me.
"Married? Well I suppose I should lead a lonely life. Who am I to trust when the two closest to me betrayed me?" His gaze hardened.
"Forgive me" Patroclus repeated. His voice as quiet as the dancing of leaves.
Achilles completely ignored him. "I could stop this from happening" he begun.
"But what you two did, is not the child's fault" he looked down.
"Just don't expect me to even be there, find someone else" he walked towards the door.
"But you are my brother..."
"You should have thought about that" he walked out the door.
That's when Patroclus completely burst into tears, loud sobs could be heard. He sat on the mattress,his face buried in his hands.

I sat on the opposite side. I had no words to comfort him, as I had no words to comfort myself. I wrapped my arms around my torso, as if hugging myself.
I didn't mind the tears, my hair being wet. All I cared for was him.
The little boy I played with at the beach, the boy who promised we would make up for the time we lost. My brother, my brother who protected me and cared for me. The brother I betrayed. I wanted to punish myself, I thought of multiple ways but I was too weak to act on any of them. As I was weak enough to sleep with him.
Alcippe of Phthia, The armed maiden. I was nothing. I was not the strong warrior they saw.