Mrs. Bieber [Zustin Mieber FF] English Version

Part 5

Zayn

"Excuse me? Can you repeat that?" I asked her, hoping Ashton Kutcher would appear behind me and tell me I was punk'd.
"Okay, honey, either you have really bad hearing, the records management here is bad or you just don't want to believe it." she stated dryly.
"How could this happen? Is this even legal?" I asked her.
She sighed. "It's completely legal, Mr. Malik-Bieber. You and your husband both signed the document last night."
"That's complete bullshit! I'm not even gay! I hate Justin! How the hell could this happen?!" I yelled at her.
"Okay, you really need to calm down, sir. Because this is not my fault. So don't shoot the messenger," she defended herself.
I took a deep breath.
"Mr. Bieber, all I need is an address, I can't answer the questions you have, I'm just the secretary."
I cursed under my breath and then gave her the address of my next hotel, then she said a polite goodbye and hung up.
I angrily threw my phone on the bed and started to aggressively stuff my things into my suitcase. But after just one shirt and my toothbrush I had to stop and start ripping my hair out, I didn't even have any concerns about ruining my hairstyle. Believe me, that was the least of my worries at the moment!
I inspected my left hand and tried to find anything that could remind me of this "marriage". This had to be a joke. A bad joke. But hopefully a joke.
Louis or Harry had probably paid some girl to call me and tell me about it!
But that would be a new low for their humor. Besides, how would they know I was in Las Vegas? They said I woke up in some stupid hotel in Los Angeles.
Only one person really knew about it.
And that's the person I least wanted to talk to right now.
Justin Drew Bieber.

--

Justin

"Oh my God, Justin! I love you! Thank you for arranging a meeting so I can finally see him again!" Heidi put her arms around me and kissed me on the cheek for what felt like the thousandth time.
I giggled and pushed her arms away from me. At first I liked her reaction, but now it was starting to get annoying.
"No problem. I know how much you missed him." I replied with a warm smile. She smiled and nodded before hopping into the passenger seat after Jeff opened the door for her.
I followed her and had to smile fondly when I saw her happy face.
"Okay, where are we going now?" she asked and Jeff started the engine, turned around and drove down the road.
"So, today we're in Canada, then we have a few shows in Vancouver and then a few in Toronto," he informed her as he did so.
"Great! Then I can finally eat Canadian ham there!" she explained.
"You can eat it here too." I rolled my eyes.
"But how damn awesome is it to pay for Canadian ham in a Canadian store with Canadian money from a Canadian clerk?!" she asked as if it was the most logical thing ever.
"Like you would pay for a taco with pesos in a Mexican restaurant where the waitress speaks Spanish?" I replied blankly, knowing she was part Mexican.
"How racist of you!" she exclaimed.
I sighed, I would never win against this woman. Let alone understand her.
"So are we going there tonight?" she asked, changing the subject.
"No, we're leaving in a few hours. The show is tomorrow night," I replied.
"No stopover? I don't know how you do it, Bieber." She shook her head.
"I do it for my Beliebers," I replied, smiling.
So I wanted to answer something, but I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and quickly pulled it out. I looked at the screen to see who was calling, but the number was apparently not in my contacts, because there was no name on the screen. I considered ignoring it and hoping that someone had just dialed the wrong number or whether I should answer it and see who it was.
"You should answer it, it could be important." Heidi said, looking at my bright screen, then she turned her attention to the window and watched the landscape passing by.
So I decided to answer the call and wanted to click answer, but the call was ended and it showed me 1 missed call in the messages.
The number didn't sound familiar to me at all, and the area code wasn't from this area.
Maybe someone really had called the wrong number.
I was just about to put my phone back in my pocket when it started vibrating again.
I glared at my phone. It was the same damn number.
I held the phone to my ear and took a deep breath.
"Hello? This is Justin Drew Bieber." I greeted the unknown caller.
"Is this a bad joke, Justin?" I heard an angry British accent coming from the phone.
"What? You called me, idiot." I clarified, rolling my eyes.
I could hear him obviously struggling with something and breathing heavily.
"Dude? You really need to get back to the gym, you're out of shape." I said to him.
"Hello? Is anyone else there?" I asked when he didn't answer. I was about to just hang up.
"This shit isn't funny! How much did you pay that bitch to call me?!" he demanded.
My eyebrows shot up. What the hell was he talking about.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, but if I tried to pay a girl to call you, my whole account would be gone."
"STOP JOKING, JUSTIN!" he yelled and I flinched. "I'm serious."
"Tell me what you're talking about first, maybe then I can help you."
I heard a mumbled 'fuck you' and was about to say something in response, but I heard him trying to calm himself down and let it go.
"A girl from a church in Las Vegas called me and asked me for my address," he began.
"I don't have time for this, but surely you can give her the address of your hotel room," I interrupted in a bored tone.
"LET ME OUT, ASSHOLE!" he yelled, making me roll my eyes.
"All right, tell me your whole life story. I'll take a little nap while you do that."
He growled. "She was going to send me a marriage certificate." He finished his previous sentence.
My eyes widened and I almost choked on my own spit. Heidi gave me a weird look, but I shook my head.
"Did you get married to a stripper?" I joked, biting my tongue to stifle my laughter.
"SHE FUCKING TOLD ME I WAS MARRIED TO YOU!" he screamed through the phone.
The phone fell out of my hand and landed in my lap. I heard him shouting some insults, so I picked up the phone and put it to my ear.
"This has to be fake, we never got married! I'm not even gay!" I hissed. "That was a good joke, Zayn! Tell Louis it was a brilliant idea, but it didn't work. Tell him to try someone else."
"I'm not fucking joking, Bieber!" he protested angrily.
"Of course not!" I replied. "You're a good actor, you have what it takes to win an Oscar, Tom Hanks is nothing compared to you!"
He groaned. "Now listen to me! She said it's real."
"They said the same thing about the tooth fairy and Santa Claus, and now look what the truth is."
"Bieber, I'm serious! Get your fucking Canadian bacon face out of your ass and listen to me."
I just laughed.
"Malik, if you want something from me, you could just ask me like a normal person! But I hate having to break your heart. I'm straight." I said, mock-sad.
"I'm not gay, Bieber!" he growled.
"Look, I have to catch my flight. You really need to calm down before they put you in a straitjacket," I explained.
"Justin! This is not a joke!" I heard him scream hysterically.
"Byeee Zayniiee," I chirped and ended the call while he was still talking to me.
I put the phone in my glove compartment, but it immediately lit up again and Zayn's number was on the display. I angrily took it and turned it off.
The game is over, Zaynster! You have been exposed!
"What the hell was that about?" Heidi asked, frowning.
"Zayn was trying to fool me." I snorted.
"What do you mean?" Heidi asked.
"As if he could even do that! I'm Justin Drew Bieber! Get to my level first, idiot!" I scolded.
"Justin! What did he tell you?" she asked impatiently.
"He called me and told me that some girl called him and told him that we were married," I snorted. "Unbelievable!" I crossed my arms.
"Is that even possible?" her eyes were wide.
I bit my lip and hesitated. Should I tell her? I knew I could tell her anything, after all she was my best friend and probably wouldn't believe a word Zayn said.
"We woke up in Las Vegas this morning completely fucked up," I said with a mirthless laugh.
"You woke up in Las Vegas?" she asked, eyes wide, searching for confirmation.
"Yeah, why? It's not like we did anything. It's not like I actually married that dick. Even if I was really gay, I wouldn't choose him. He's too whiny and bitchy for my taste," I grumbled, clenching my hands into fists.
I expected Heidi to interrupt my ranting and raving, but she was quiet. She sat there frozen, her mouth opening and closing like a fish.
"What's wrong, Heidi? Are you not feeling well?" I asked her, lowering my voice a little.
She looked up and there was terror in her eyes.
"What is it, Heidi? You're starting to scare me," I joked half-heartedly.
She shook her head. "You idiots really did it!" she whispered.