Mrs. Bieber [Zustin Mieber FF] English Version

Part 67

Narrator

Zayn came back with a gym bag containing his pajamas. He looked less than enthusiastically at his blonde best friend, who was leaning over Justin's body. Zayn dropped the bag on the floor, the sound made Niall almost jump, as if he had been caught. Zayn didn't like how close his best friend and his husband were.

"Hey, you're back fast." Niall commented, trying to calm his heart as he looked at his best friend, who was narrowing his eyes at him.

Zayn snorted quietly. "Did you really think I would stay away longer than necessary?"

Niall didn't answer because it was such a stupid question that would lead to nothing. Niall looked at his watch, it hadn't even been an hour since his friend had been gone, but here he was again, in his sleeping clothes and looking like he wanted to throw Niall out of the room.

"You haven't eaten anything, have you?" Niall asked, seeing that Zayn didn't look any better. He looked exhausted and his eyes were hollow and almost lifeless. He hadn't eaten anything, anyone with eyes in their head could see that he didn't have the energy that food would have given him.

Zayn didn't answer because Niall already knew what he was going to say. But how could Zayn eat anything when he was suffering like that? How could he eat when Justin was hooked up to so many machines and wires? How could he even think about walking around and living his life properly while Justin was fighting for his? No way, that's easy. Zayn's stomach turned at the thought of food and until he knew Justin was OK, he couldn't eat anything.

"How is he? Has anything changed?" Zayn asked Niall, he knew that things could change drastically in a single moment. The intensive care unit was a constant cliffhanger, nothing was ever certain.

Niall shook his head dejectedly. "I didn't notice anything."

Zayn sighed in relief. It wasn't good news that nothing had changed, but it wasn't bad either. It just told him that Justin was still in critical condition.

"Why do you have a bag with you?" Niall nodded in the direction of the black, overstuffed bag in the corner. Was he going back to London?

Zayn went to the other side of the bed, intertwining his fingers with Justin's again, his heart fluttering happily at the touch. "I'm staying overnight, he shouldn't be alone."

Niall's eyes widened skeptically. "You stayed here overnight? With him?"

Zayn looked up into Niall's eyes and couldn't hold back the sarcasm. "Didn't I just say that?"

Niall crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Why are you making such a big fuss? Nobody else does."

Zayn looked at him annoyed, he could clearly hear the curiosity in Niall's voice. "Do I have to explain that again? He shouldn't be alone."

Niall hummed. "But he's not alone, he has the other patients and he's sleeping anyway, it's not like he'll know you were here." Niall knew he was provoking Zayn a little, but he wanted to hear Zayn's real reason, even though he suspected it.

Zayn's heart clenched as he realized Justin really wouldn't know. "But I will. I'll know if I was here or not." Zayn argued, not liking where Niall was going. He didn't like the curiosity and suspicion in his best friend's voice.

Niall's brows furrowed, it seemed as if Zayn wanted to avoid the feeling of guilt. "Zayn, why are you staying here? Why are you really staying here?"

Zayn gripped Justin's hand tighter, his eyes roaming over his husband's face as he prepared to answer the question.

"Because I owe him that, and I owe him so much more."

"What do you mean? You can't owe him anything unless you have a score to settle." Niall was confused by Zayn's statement, he didn't understand what he was talking about. He spoke in riddles and Niall couldn't find his way through the maze of mystical words.

"You wouldn't understand," Zayn mumbled.

Niall sighed and reached across Justin's body to put his hand on Zayn's, which was holding Justin's bandaged hand. "I would if you explained it to me, Zayn. Why don't you just tell me? What don't you just tell me?"

Zayn wanted to slap Niall's hand away, it annoyed him that he was so curious. "Because it's my business, not yours. None of this is any of your business."

Niall nodded in agreement. "That may be true, but you are my business, you are my business."

Zayn bit his lip, trying to keep the scream that seemed to be forming in his throat to himself. If he let it out, he would definitely be thrown out of here and he wouldn't be able to see Justin again until he was placed in one of the regular hospital rooms.

"He's my husband, Niall, why shouldn't I stay with him? Why should I leave him all alone in this horrible place? Why should I leave him all alone and why do you question everything I do. Did you want to stay here?" Zayn's jealousy became more apparent now.

Niall raised his hand defensively. "Stop it!" he whispered. "I'm not interested in your husband, Zayn. I'm just asking you why you're staying here overnight when you never planned on staying with him anyway!"

Zayn froze, his eyes widened in shock for a second but quickly covered it up with feigned stupidity and innocence. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Niall shook his head and folded his arms again. "Yes, I think so."

"No, you don't know anything about us," Zayn whispered.

Niall's lips curled into a small, really tiny, smile at Zayn's desperate voice. "Us? Like you and Justin?"

Zayn didn't know what he had said until that moment, he had said it without thinking, he hadn't fully understood what he had answered until it was far too late. "You know what I mean, Niall. You don't know what happened between me and Justin."

"And whose fault is that? Definitely not mine," Niall replied bitterly. If it were up to him, he would drag Zayn out of here and smack him.

Zayn knew this was coming, Niall would play the best friends card and make him feel like he was the bad guy and then he would feel guilty. And Zayn didn't have the mental strength for that kind of conversation right now.

"Look, when this is all over, I'll tell you everything. Every little detail of the last four months, okay?" Zayn promised, noticing how Niall's cheeks began to turn red with anger.

Niall growled. "You better be serious, Zayn," he snarled quietly and almost threateningly.

-*-

Zayn had just gone into the bathroom to change; the black tight jeans were driving him crazy. The rest of the day had consisted of either Justin's mother or Heidi being there. Heidi had argued with him every time, though, so he had gone out to change; he couldn't stand it right now. He had the right to be there the whole time, but he had no more patience for the constant bickering.

"Do you really want to stay here? Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Mama Mallette asked her son-in-law.

Only one person was allowed to stay and of course Mama Mallette wanted to stay with him, but she knew that Zayn had priority as a spouse. She also still couldn't quite understand how Justin had tied himself down and not told her about it. She couldn't wait for him to wake up and get better so she could give him a dig for not inviting him to the wedding.

Zayn shook his head, politely declining the suggestion. "I'm fine, Pattie."

She smiled gently, brushed his hair back from his forehead and placed a kiss on it. "Just call me Mum."

Zayn's heart swelled in his chest, the warmth and protection this wonderful woman offered him... he couldn't quite comprehend that she was really his mother-in-law. He didn't deserve so much kindness, nor did he deserve her always open arms and the way she always looked out for him.

"I'll bring us breakfast here tomorrow so we can eat downstairs in the cafeteria. I still have to get to know my son properly." she winked jokingly and rubbed her hand over Zayn's shoulder.

"Make sure you get some sleep, you need it almost as much as he does." she whispered in his ear as she kissed his temple one last time.

Zayn nodded. "Goodnight, Mom, thank you, you're too nice to me." he said honestly, meaning every word.

She shook her head. "No, thank you for caring so much about my son. He needs someone like you in his life, someone who looks after him, who looks after him and tells him off when he behaves stupidly."

Zayn's lips twitched briefly before he assumed his stoic expression again and nodded. "Drive carefully."

She smiled at him. "Let me know if anything changes, even if it's just minimal." she pointed her finger at him and then turned to her sleeping son. She leaned carefully over the boy, being careful not to touch the cables and machines, and pressed her lips gently to the bandaged head. "I love you, Justin, we're waiting for you. Take your time, my darling."

Zayn's eyes burned as she peppered his face with light kisses and couldn't ignore her quiet sobs. It hurt him a lot to see his mom in such pain; she shouldn't have to go through all of this.

She quickly left the room, unable to hold back her tears any longer and having to get out of the small, claustrophobic room because she didn't want to suffer a panic attack. She hurried out of the room, threw the door open, and let a shaky sob escape her lips as she stood in the hallway.

Zayn bit his lip and tried to concentrate on something other than the sobs of the tortured woman. But it was so quiet that it was incredibly difficult and the constant beeping of the machines was driving him crazy.

Zayn got up from his chair and moved it closer to Justin's bed so he could intertwine their fingers and look at him. What else could he do? Justin was unconscious, he wouldn't magically just wake up or move. But how damn much Zayn wanted that, he wanted to hear his voice, his loud, unmistakable and so infectious laughter and he wanted to see those caramel eyes sparkling with smugness. Zayn cleared his throat

. "Hey Justin, it's me, your wifey." Zayn couldn't stop the single tear that ran down his cheek.

"I know I'm probably the last fucking person you wanted to hear from right now, but I'm here. I'm by your side. I can't believe you're here, Justin. I just don't understand, less than a week ago you were on stage performing. You were looking forward to celebrating Christmas with your loved ones during the holidays and now you're in an induced coma with a huge laceration, broken lips and a lot of other shit that must hurt like hell. I just don't understand, why exactly you? Why are you here? I'm supposed to be here. I should be the one in the fucking hospital, I should have been the one with the car accident. I was in fucking London when it happened. I didn't even find out right away, I was only told the next day, Justin. You have no idea how awful I felt, how helpless I was when Liam came to me. And then that motherfucker hardly knew anything he could tell me and that scared the hell out of me. I flew here immediately and you're probably wondering now: "Why do you even care? You made it clear that you didn't want anything to do with me anymore, Zayn." But I can't answer that question because I don't even know why. I don't know why I was so panicked, I didn't know why I had to be here. But everyone knows now, Justin. Everyone knows about us, they know about our marriage. But I didn't tell them anything about it except that fact."

Zayn paused, rubbing his nose. "I didn't sign, Justin. I couldn't sign, I couldn't end it like that. I couldn't do this to you, you deserve a better explanation, you deserve someone far better than me as a partner. And just because I didn't sign, I have the right to stay here. Where is here, you might be wondering. The intensive care unit, yes Justin, you almost died, damn it, you bastard."

Zayn clung helplessly to Justin's hand, knowing that if Justin was alive, breathing, and completely unharmed, he would shove him away and leave.

"I know I have the nerve to call you the bastard when in reality I am the bastard. But Justin, you need to know something. I need to tell you something that I've been keeping from you since the very beginning. I need to confess something to you, I need to tell you because it's been eating me up inside and it has been for months." Zayn's voice was strained, his throat tight as he spoke to Justin for the first time since he'd been in this room.

"I know I sound crazy, I sound like a stuttering idiot who can't seem to stop. Don't tell me you wouldn't spit that very thing in my face, you're always telling me how feminine I am and how I always tend to overreact. But I'm serious, I don't want to keep this to myself any longer." Zayn took a deep breath, preparing to finally spit it out.

"I remember that night. The night we got married, I remember everything, Justin. I remember what happened in Vegas. How we got totally drunk but it doesn't matter because I still remember. I remember that little church, I remember the cheap stupid ceremony and I remember our wedding night." Zayn's cheeks flushed at the memory of his first wet dream involving Justin.

"Yeah, Justin, we finalized the wedding long before you came to London." Zayn bit his lip, admitting everything to a Justin who wasn't listening anyway.

His lips curled into a smile, a soft smile that looked more like a grimace but he couldn't help it, the pain of the memory was catastrophic. "Do you remember the first time you called me wifey?"

Zayn got no answer, but it was obvious. Zayn's mind began to race as he replayed his dream in his mind. The dream that was more of a memory.

**

"Thanks, really, man! We owe you one!" and Justin threw a twenty to the man, who caught it, cursing quietly.

"Drunk idiots," he muttered quietly and immediately drove away as we got out of the car.

Justin smiled as we looked at the building in front of us and the name wasn't just a nice package, Little Chapel, fuck, this church was really tiny. But it did have a big heart with an arrow through the middle in bright pink on the front. There were a few cars in the parking lot in front.

"Are you coming, future wifey?"

"Oh, please!" I slurred. "I'd be the man and you the woman."

He made a derogatory noise. "Why don't you leave the prophesying to me? You suck at predicting."

I rolled my eyes. "Can we get this over with now?"

Justin grinned, nodded, grabbed my hand and led us to the entrance of the small church.

As we entered the tiny building, a few people in the waiting room looked up and a woman was standing behind the counter, leafing through a catalog disinterestedly.

But when she saw us standing there hand in hand, she put on a smile and greeted us: "Hello! I'm Meredith! Welcome to our Little Chapel. How can I help you tonight?"

"We're here to get married, sweetheart." Justin said proudly, squeezing my hand tighter.

She beamed. "Wonderful! Well, could you do the paperwork first? Then we can begin."

She handed us two clipboards with a bunch of sheets of paper on them, each for us to fill out. We walked to the chairs and after ten minutes of trying to write straight on the lines, we were laughing our heads off because Justin had me write down his last name. As a joke, I explained it to myself.

We walked to the counter together and she took the papers from us. "Wonderful! Well, we have some suits and everything, you want to look good on your big day! Or should I say night?" she giggled, pulling out two suits.

"Can't we just wear what we're wearing?" I asked, staring at her stupidly.

She pouted a little. "I think so." She mumbled.

Justin laughed softly. "I must apologize, my wifey is quite picky."

She giggled as I punched him in the side.

"You two are just too cute! Cuter than little kittens!"

I rolled my eyes and snorted derisively. "Can we move on now?"

Justin laughed. "And he's impatient."



--



"So, do you want to, Zayn Javaad Malik in front of everyone here-", great, who was here? The guy who was droning on in an annoyed voice and the receptionist who was beaming like a Cheshire cat and couldn't contain herself?! "-take Justin Drew Bieber as your legal husband?"

When I looked forward and met Justin's eyes my heart stopped for a moment and then started racing, but that was probably the alcohol.

It had to be the alcohol.

Whatever it was, the stupid drunkenness or my misplaced excitement, I found myself stammering the two words that would bind us together in front of the altar, the words that would marry us.

"Y-yes, I do."

The priest nodded and looked at Justin with a raised brow. "And do you, Justin Drew Bieber, take Zayn Javaad Malik to be your legal husband in front of everyone here?"

"No."

"What the hell, Justin?!" I replied, my teeth clenched and my fists clenched.

He chuckled. "I will only take him to be my legal wife, sir."

I glared at Justin and the man burst into laughter. "I correct that: legal wife."

Justin nodded contentedly. "I do."

The priest was no longer annoyed at all and a small smile played around his lips. "Now, you can kiss the bride."

**

"That was the first time you called me wifey, Justin. And it's a moment I'll never forget," Zayn whispered, his hands now folded on his knees. It was uncomfortable to tell such a deep and dark secret that he should have told Justin for so long.

"I know I should have told you the moment I remembered, but I was so panicked, Justin, I was scared. Because that dream didn't just stop there, no, damn it, it didn't. We kissed, we had sex and you called me, only the sound of my cell phone woke me up. And that from one of the hottest dreams I've ever had and your voice really didn't help me at that moment." Zayn giggled, it was embarrassing and humiliating how he was talking to himself about their sex life.

"I've done so much shit to you, I've done nothing but that, I've insulted you, cheated on you, hurt you, made you crazy and angry and I'm so sorry. I never meant to do this. Okay, no, that's a lie, in the beginning I wanted to, I wanted to insult you and I wanted to hurt you, but now?"

**

Zayn shook his head and ran his hand through his undone curls, totally exhausted and done. "I don't know anymore, I just don't know."

He remained silent, he didn't know what to say anymore, he wanted to kick himself in the ass for having said so much. He wanted to hit himself for being such a fucking coward, he had told Justin everything even though he knew there was no way he would hear him. The doctors had told him that specifically, that he wouldn't hear anything, that he was in a deep sleep and couldn't see or hear anything. His brain had shut down and no matter how hard he tried, Justin wouldn't hear.

"I shouldn't have said any of that, not while you were sleeping and wouldn't hear or understand my words. I should have... I should have... damn, I might have..." Zayn closed his eyes in frustration.

"I should have kissed you," he whispered, so softly that even he could hardly understand the words that came out of his mouth.

Zayn put his face in his hands, cursing himself over and over with self-hatred and regret.

"Why am I mad? I don't get it

It seems like every time you give me signs and I miss it

I did it again, I admit it

I left you standing there and now I regret it."

Zayn couldn't stop his lips from croaking the lyrics out, barely audibly so as not to upset or disturb anyone. But he sang it because it came from his heart, the words leaving his parted lips.

"Seems like every time I get the chance

I lose my cool and I blow it

And I get all tongue tied, lost in your eyes

I'm a fool and I know it

I should've kissed you, I should've told you

Told you just how I feel

And next time I won't stop, I'll listen to my heart

'Cause what I feel is real

I should've kissed you

I should've told you how I feel

I should've kissed you

I should've showed you just how I feel."

Zayn nodded pathetic to himself. "I would have, Justin," he whispered to his husband, so gentle, quiet and remorseful.

"No, I didn't give you my two cents

A million reasons why I should have and it makes no sense,

So here I am by myself again

Stopping for green lights, and I know

I wanna be more than friends."

"I fucking want it, Justin, I want it so fucking bad, babe. "I always wanted to," he admitted quietly.

How come every time I get the chance

I lose my cool and I blow it?

And I get all tongue tied lost in your eyes

I'm a fool and I know it, hey."

"Because I'm a fucking idiot, Justin, a temperamental, irrational-thinking asshole," Zayn explained.

I should've kissed you, I should've told you

Told you just how I feel

And next time I won't stop, I'll listen to my heart

Cause what I feel is real.

I should've kissed you

I should've told you how I feel

I should've kissed you,

I should've showed you just how I feel!

"I hate myself for telling you all this while you're sleeping, but if you were awake and looking at me with your beautiful eyes, I would run. I would run like crazy because that's all I've ever done in my life, Justin. My whole life I've only been afraid of everything and everyone. I even told you once that I'm the biggest coward you'll ever meet. And I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm sorry, Justin. You deserve more than a whining wimp, you really deserve better. I don't deserve you, Justin, I don't deserve your heart, I don't deserve to bear your last name and I never deserved to be called Wifey by you."

.★*... ✈...*★. ★*... ✈...*★. ★*... ✈...*★.