Mrs. Bieber [Zustin Mieber FF] English Version

Part 42

Zayn

My sleep pattern had returned to normal and I was sleeping as much as before, at least when I had the chance. But still, we still traveled to a different time zone almost every day. I couldn't even bring myself to think about the next night.

It had been five days since the Nina incident and I could still sleep just as well as I had the afternoon before. I could sleep, but most of the time I didn't; I just lay awake and think.

I thought about things I shouldn't be thinking about. I mean, anyone with eyes in their head could see that Justin Bieber was really fucking attractive, even a nun would probably turn into a Nina under him. It was really frustrating having such a good looking husband. He was always the one I could compare to anyone.

I mean, he was the only one I could compare to anyone at the moment. I'm married to him and I wouldn't cheat on him, which was another reason I turned down that waitress. I had to show Justin that respect even though I knew he wouldn't say anything about it, but still...he was always so unpredictable.

He probably wouldn't mind if I slept with any girl, though. I wouldn't mind if he slept with any bitch. I'd probably applaud him.

"Hey Zayn!" Niall called to me and I grabbed my suitcase at the baggage claim. We had just arrived in Jacksonville, Florida, and boy, it was so damn hot! But it was such a humid, muggy hot. I had immediately taken off my jacket because beads of sweat had already formed on my forehead within the first minute.

"Yeah, I'm coming!" I shouted back over my shoulder and quickly attached my jacket to my suitcase so I didn't have to carry it. Niall was now wearing a snapback and Ray Bans, lucky him. I hadn't thought to unpack sunglasses and a hat.

I quickly ran over to Niall and the rest of the guys, who all looked pretty sweaty and had lost several layers of clothes. Where we had been before, the weather was really chilly, not too cold and now it felt like a hundred degrees.

I will never understand the United States. There were three different time zones, over 50 different states and it was the most famous place right after China and India. And there were so many different climates! Eventually my body would collapse.

If I moved here, which I probably never would, I would live in one of those star cities. Los Angeles or New York City. But I probably would never have any reason to leave England and become a citizen here. It would have to be a really good reason. (Justiiiinnn)

"Did you hear that Justin finally released Heartbreaker?" I heard Niall telling Liam, who was scrolling through his phone.

"Really? When?" Liam asked interestedly, he was also a fan of Justin, but not enough to know everything like a crazy fangirl. If our Leprechaun only knew about me and Justin, I can imagine how excited he would be. I mean, I was married to his idol. He would probably ask me why the hell I hadn't invited him to the wedding.

But somehow, I hadn't been invited either. I could barely remember that damn night. Only this dream seemed like some kind of memory. But that couldn't be true.

I hadn't really thought much about this dream at all, because I was mostly frustrated and focused on the sexual part. And I even had first-hand experience of his abilities and many Beliebers would shoot me for it. But I had never considered whether this dream was true or not. It had felt real, everything was so realistic, as if I was really there and as if it had really happened.

And not mentioning it to Justin was kind of hard. He should know what happened on our wedding night, or what might have happened. I just couldn't muster the courage to tell him. If I told him, it would mean that it was real. I just couldn't.

"Apparently he's doing some kind of thing and releasing a song every Sunday at midnight. He calls it Music Mondays." Niall informed Liam, who was now listening intently to the song on his phone.

Ha, that's clever! "How long has he been doing this?" asked Liam.

"For ten weeks!" Niall almost cheered and I could have sworn he was about to start singing an Irish song and jumping around in the middle of the airport. Not exactly a moment he would be proud of later.

I pulled out my phone and grinned.

Selling your fans a new single every week just because we both know you'll make more money that way?

Man, Justin, I had no idea how greedy you are. And I thought you liked sharing your money with others. Ha! -Zee

We walked to the SUVs that were already waiting as always and I prayed to God that they had the air conditioning on. I couldn't stand those cars when it was so fucking hot and I was almost dying inside them.

I felt my phone vibrate and expected a lecture from Justin because I knew how much he loved his fans and wanted to give them something to listen to. Everyone could see how much he adored his Beliebers. They had a piece of his heart that he would never give to anyone else.

I couldn't stand you any other way. With you and your money-hungry ass who has too high expectations and wants nothing more than expensive presents! And a man does what he has to do when things get serious. We could end up with money problems! -Justin

I burst out laughing and immediately put my hand over my mouth in shock. Liam and Niall looked at me as if I'd gone crazy, then Niall smiled thinly. "What's so funny?"

I shook my head quickly. "Nothing, nothing." And I had to laugh again. I tried to hide it by coughing quietly, but it failed completely. God damn it, why did I find it so funny? I mean, yeah, it was funny but not so much that I almost burst into hysterical laughter.

"Okay, whatever you say." Niall said with an amused look on his face and continued to rave about my husband.

Liam looked over at me with a twinkle in his eye. "Zayn, how's Justin?" His voice had this tone as if he knew that I spoke to Justin regularly, that I slept with him and that I was married to him, but he surely couldn't know anything about it. Nobody knew that.

I just wrinkled my nose in response. "How would I know? I haven't talked to him."

Lies. Lies and more lies. "Oh really? Not since your Twitter argument?" Niall asked with a frown. He really wanted to be friends with him in some way. If only he knew.

I swallowed slightly and could feel Liam's eyes boring into my skin as if he was trying to find something that would tell him I was lying. He hated lies, why else would he refuse to talk to Heidi? But really, he was really annoying me right now with his judgmental looks, his eyes sparkling mischievously and acting like he knew something I didn't know he knew.

"No, me and him aren't even friends." I wasn't lying, we weren't friends. Friends didn't fuck each other, friends didn't suddenly wake up married next to each other, and friends definitely didn't have arguments like we had.

Niall pouted. "That's a shame, you two could be such good friends and then, you know, then I'd come and we'd be a real gang!" he declared with a grin.

I laughed at the silly Irishman. "Okay Nialler, what were you talking about? That Heartbreaker song?"

Niall immediately perked up at the mention of Justin, something even I didn't, and I was married to the guy. Niall continued to rave about how he would now release a new song as a single every week until his album was released in December. Sometimes I wondered if if Niall had performed with Justin at the TCAs that night, he would be married to him now.

Everything would be better if that had happened, Niall adored Justin. He was his idol and waking up married to him would have been the perfect, disgusting cliche. Niall would love to hear his voice, kiss his lips and make love to him. Niall would be the perfect husband for Justin.

My heart clenched a little at the thought of Justin now calling Niall his wifey, which was actually something he only called me. He had sung me a lullaby, he had destroyed my life...and my ass. He had turned my life into a whirlwind where nothing could be predicted.

I shook my head to get rid of these thoughts and continued towards the exit. As expected, the black SUV was waiting outside so that we could be driven to the hotel, which was right next to a beach. We would spend all our free time there, since we didn't have another gig until tomorrow night.

We reached the hotel and we all gasped when we saw the snow white towers of the hotel, the white beach was only about a hundred meters from the doorstep of the hotel. A few people were walking around there in bathing suits or swimming in the clear water. I immediately walked towards the hotel, I wanted to go to my room so I could quickly change and get to this beautiful beach.

Liam handed out the keys for the rooms, the rooms were connected, which meant we could all go into each other's rooms without knocking. Actually, I normally had no problem with this kind of thing, but now that there was this thing with Justin... if he called and they suddenly just came into my room, I would be so screwed.

When I got to my room, my jaw dropped to the floor when I saw the beautiful view of the deep blue ocean and the dazzling white sand. The light breeze that blew in made the thin white curtains flutter and it made me feel so peaceful. I felt like I could just fly away.

"Zayn, are you coming to the beach with me?" Niall shouted through the door from the room next door, so he was my neighbor for the duration of our stay. Much better than Liam, anyway. I felt like he was watching me the whole time. I mean, couldn't he just take care of himself?!

I threw my suitcase on the queen-sized bed and unzipped it, grabbing my swimming trunks, which were of course on top, as I had packed my suitcase very carefully. What bullshit, of course they were at the bottom and I had to throw everything out to get to them.

Finally I found them and pulled out a white tank top and sandals with the black pants. I quickly grabbed a towel from the bathroom. I was afraid of the water and couldn't swim, but that didn't mean I couldn't walk along the beach, enjoying the fact that the small waves that washed out didn't touch my feet. I would probably just lie in the sun to freshen up my dark skin tone, which had faded a bit.

The other boys were already in the hallway, with their colorful swimwear and towels, plus hats and sunglasses. Louis was the first to jump into the elevator and, laughing quietly, I followed the boisterous boys as I put in my headphones. I would probably just lie on the towel and listen to the music and the waves rolling in. Besides, a little nap on the beach didn't sound too bad.

As my feet touched the hot sand, my lips curled into a smile. Paradise.

With Chris Brown in my ears and the gentle wind in my face, I could get used to this. I would kill for more free time like this.

"Hey wifey, we could always take vacations like this together. Fiji, the Bahamas, and the Caribbean. Wherever you want to go, wifey, you decide." I could only imagine Justin whispering that in my ear and gently kissing my neck.

I shook off the goosebumps and tried to focus on something other than him. I looked at the waves crashing against the isolated rocks, I looked at the surfers gliding over the waves. There were also so many pretty girls here, in their little bikinis and beautiful tanned skin.

But nothing drove me to approach any of these girls, I was honestly bored of them. Even with the neon-colored bikinis and long flowing hair, they didn't look any more exciting. There was nothing to see, they all just looked the same. I decided to take a little walk, alone. My God, what a surprise.

I grabbed my phone and walked barefoot across the warm sand, sinking a little with every step. Don't they say it's a kind of peeling? I took deep breaths and walked along the shore, looking at all the people having so much fun in the sand, especially the couples. I saw a girl being chased into the water by her boyfriend, she screamed as she tried to escape in the water and it splashed as she ran through the shallower water, but of course her boyfriend grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug. She laughed and smiled as he turned her around by the hips and kissed her.

I looked away. This was a private moment for the two of them, even if they were doing it in public.

When I turned my gaze to the pier on the other side, I saw two men holding hands and laughing. One was holding a cup of ice cream and the other was just adoring him with the biggest heart eyes I've ever seen. The one with the cup of ice cream offered his boyfriend some, but the boy shook his head, the other just shrugged and put another spoonful in his mouth. Without anyone knowing, the man leaned forward and kissed him with his mouth open, presumably to get the ice cream another way.

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach and I found myself smiling at the two of them, they seemed so happy. It just made me smile and I started fantasizing about Justin and I running around on the beach like that, just fooling around. We'd probably laugh, he'd chase me into the water like the boy earlier threw his girlfriend and me over his shoulder and swim out to sea with us. I'd be frozen, the very thought gave me goosebumps but still, something deep down knew he wouldn't let me drown, he would put his iron grip around my waist and bring me safely back to shore.

If anything, I thought. If anything. Even if Justin and I did become a couple, we wouldn't be able to walk around in public, or even hold hands or kiss, because we'd be practically mobbed by the paparazzi.

And that's never going to happen anyway, I didn't know what was going on with me lately, I'm just going to blame jet lag and not being able to sleep because of my racing thoughts.

Something deep inside me wanted him with me right now, he would make this trip so much better. He would make it fun and exciting and we would walk along the beach laughing and teasing each other. I wanted this so badly.

I wanted fun and some excitement and the way I wanted it just wasn't with the other guys.

To distract myself I decided to just listen to this heartbreaker song because you know what? I was going to be a supportive wifey and buy this shitty song.

I opened iTunes and was surprised to see the song already at number one, I blinked at least six times to make sure it was really his song and the sleepless nights weren't playing tricks on me. But why was I surprised?

He's Justin fucking Bieber.

I bought the thing anyway, just to listen to it. The cover of the single was a dried up or bleeding heart and I just hoped the song wasn't too cheesy.

I turned the volume up and was shocked by the new sound. It was darker, seductive and soft. It gave you this R&B feeling and I almost swayed my hips to the beat.

Don't tell me you're my heartbreaker

'Cause girl my heart is breaking

Don't tell me you're my heartbreaker

'Cause girl my heart is breaking

My lips curved into a smile as I heard his fucking beautiful voice. I could feel the goosebumps on my arms as I listened to his voice. You could almost feel him murmuring those words in my ear as his lips brushed against mine. My heart was beating fast at the passion and heart he put into this song.

I nodded my head gently to the beat and listened intently to the lyrics and noticed something as I tried to figure out what these lyrics meant but didn't know exactly what it was.

And then I realized that it was actually pretty clear who he wrote this song for.

So what I'm really trying to say is, and what I hope you understand
Is despite of all the imperfections of who I am I still wanna be your man
I know it hasn't been easy for us to talk with everyone being around
But, this is, this is personal, this is, for me and you
And I want you to know that I still love you
And I know the seasons may change
But sometimes love goes from sunshine to rain
But I'm under this umbrella and I'm calling your name
And you know I don't wanna lose that

I stopped the song the moment the part ended, Oh God. That was a song for her, right? He meant Selena, it was his way of getting her attention back.

It was as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water over my head because I just couldn't... I couldn't believe it. The song was for her. He still loved her. That was proof that he wasn't over her.

And the words "I still believe in us" echoed through my mind and I felt like something was breaking around me. I took out the headphones and cursed myself for even thinking about such things. Even earlier, when I thought that we could be something more than just soon-to-be ex-husbands.

I felt the phone vibrate in my pocket, which I had put back in my pocket, and of course, speak of the devil.

I tapped the green button to answer the call. "What?!" I snapped.

"Whoa! Hello to you too!" He seemed a little taken aback that I was so pissed.

"Do you need something?" I asked as I continued walking, the water lapping at my ankles.

"I just called, well, I don't know, because I felt like it. Did you hear my song? "It's the new hit with the girls!" he asked and I could hear the excitement and pride in his voice. He was happy with the positive reactions.

I cleared my throat. "Yes, I am. It's okay. Not really my thing, you know me."

"Oh, well, at least you heard it! It's a little too romantic, that's probably why you don't like it so much." There was something disappointed and hurt in his strained, indifferent voice.

"You're not over her, are you?" I asked dryly before I could stop myself. I just said it without thinking.

"It's just a song. I wrote it over six months ago, at the time my heart was still pretty broken." He answered me, but I could only grit my teeth.

"You're not over her, are you?" I asked again.

"So - "

"Justin! Baby! Hurry up! Get back to bed!" I heard a high-pitched voice whine from the other end of the line, sounding like it was five years old.

I felt my jaw clench even harder and my free fist clench angrily at my side, as if I wanted to punch the first person who came my way. Man, woman or child. But right now I really didn't care.

"Who the hell was that?!" I growled, anger coursing through my body and my stomach clenching in a weird way. In my mind I was imagining the worst scenarios.

"Just a girl, don't worry, wifey." He replied nonchalantly.

"Don't you fucking call me if you have a whore in bed!" I replied with a humorless laugh. I could hear a girl giggling, wrong, I could hear several girls giggling. Then there was the pop of a champagne bottle being opened and turned on like music, romantic music.

Oh dear god, that wasn't really happening.

"What's your fucking problem? Are you on your period, Mrs. Bieber?" he joked and I felt an overwhelming urge to strangle him.

"First you're not over Selena and now you're sleeping with some bitches?!" I explained loudly, my voice breaking slightly at the end.

"Well first of all, Wifey, it's none of your business who I love and who I don't. Second, I have some friends over and that 'whore' you just heard is my cousin and she's drunk. She fucking thinks I'm Justin Timberlake."

I wanted to open my mouth to immediately apologize for calling his cousin a whore.

"Last time I checked, we were still married but that doesn't mean you own me. You don't get to dictate who I am where with! And do you know what you sound like?" he asked.

I wanted to answer but he growled, "Like a jealous, possessive boyfriend. And last time I checked, we weren't in a relationship. You may be my wifey, but that doesn't mean you can meddle in my life like that. You don't have to know everything either."

"Justin... shit - sorry. I just... I'm sorry, my temper got the better of me." I tried to apologize.

"Save it." He snapped. "I'm going to hang up now and you're going to calm down, because this is my life and I can do whatever I want. And talk, fuck and be with whoever I want."

That was the most serious thing I've ever heard come out of his mouth, his tone was hard and curt. You could hear how pissed he was. Normally he was always so calm, cool and collected. He was always laid back and the calmest and most chilled person I've ever met. And to hear him like that now?

I knew I had made him mad. I had crossed a line.

"Shit, Justin, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for calling your cousin a whore - "

"It's okay, she's acting like one right now. Speaking of which, I have to go now. And since you're so curious, I'm going to put her to bed now." He said slowly, challengingly and sarcastically.

I flinched at his cold voice and was about to say goodbye when I heard the beep. He had hung up.

I threw my phone in the sand and kicked it. But when I saw the sun, which was already pretty low on the horizon, I picked it up and jogged back to where I had once laid down my towel and where the others were now waiting.

I stomped my way through the sand, pushing people out of the way and not caring if they yelled after me. The boys were just packing up when I arrived.

"Here Za - " I snatched the towel from Niall's hand that he was holding out to me and grabbed my sandals.

"Zayn, are you okay?" Liam asked but I pushed him away. "Just let me go, okay? Okay?!" I snapped at him and he flinched away.

I just walked as fast as I could through the sand to the showers, I could hear Niall calling after me but Liam held him back.

I just kept walking through the sandy hills so I could shower. The faster I got there, the faster I could barricade myself in my hotel room.

"Zayn, wait!" Niall called after me as I got into one of the shower stalls and closed the door behind me.

"Niall, let him - "

"No, Liam! I won't let one of my best friends split off from the group again! He's apparently frustrated and he needs someone to talk to!" Niall interrupted him, shouting.

"Niall, he obviously doesn't want to talk to anyone right now! Let him calm down, you can question him later." Liam tried to calm the agitated blonde down.

I simply turned on the shower and started to get the sand off me that was sticking to my arms and feet. I wrinkled my nose, wet sand was awful.

"What's wrong with him, Liam? He was so happy before and now he's going back to how he was at the beginning." Niall sounded sad, my heart ached at the hurt tone in the little Irishman's voice.

Liam sighed loudly. "He has to find out for himself first, Niall, that's called self-knowledge.

"What do you mean by that?" Niall asked the question that also came to my mind when Liam said that.

Liam sighed again and I could hear him shuffling his feet, something he always did when things got uncomfortable for him. "What I mean, Nialler, is that Zayn needs to figure out a few things about himself. We can't just drill it into him when he's so confused. He needs to figure it out for himself."

Niall remained silent and I heard his footsteps moving away, probably either because he was confused or because he wanted to jump into the shower himself.

"Zayn, whatever is making you so angry, pull yourself together and get it back! The only thing that can turn a person from happy to totally angry in a matter of seconds is another person. A really special person." Is the last thing that came out of Liam's mouth before he follows Niall.

I just looked at the door for a long time. Too long. And then I sighed, he was right.

Only he had the power to make me happy and make me laugh and then turn around again so that I wanted to strangle him. But why did he have that power over me?

He was nothing to me. Just the soon-to-be ex-husband, nothing else. But the idea that he wasn't over Selena and was sleeping with another girl who wasn't me (sure, you're a girl too... Last time I checked, you still had balls) made my stomach turn and anger pulse through my body.