Mrs. Bieber [Zustin Mieber FF] English Version

Part 66

Narrator

Zayn and Pattie looked at the doctor in complete shock, their mouths hanging open as they took in the information. Mama Mallette only knew a little bit about what an induced coma actually was, but Zayn had absolutely no idea about it.
"W-what? A coma? He can't.... he just can't, no... what if he doesn't wake up?!" Zayn asked cluelessly, his eyes glittering even more. He felt like the entire planet Earth was lying on his chest, squeezing all the air out of his lungs while his heart barely dared to beat.
The doctor immediately started to back away, put her hands on his and squeezed them lightly. "No, an artificially induced coma."
"What the hell is the difference?! He's not going to wake up!" Zayn shouted, his throat tightening.
The doctor couldn't help but find the situation a little bit amusing. "Mr. Bieber, can you please calm down so I can explain it to you?"
Zayn took a deep breath and tried not to become completely hysterical, he breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth as he sat down on the chair next to Justin's bed, the beeping of the monitor only making his heart beat faster.
The doctor nodded, also walked towards the bed and picked up the clipboard with the information and took a deep breath as her eyes wandered over the information. She bit her lip slightly as she tried to explain the complicated medical information in a way that Zayn could understand.
She took another breath and let it out as she looked at the man sitting in front of her who looked pretty exhausted. "Your husband has some permanent injuries, a laceration on the back of his head, three broken ribs, punctured lungs, a broken ankle, numerous cuts on his hands that required stitches and his spine was also damaged and his hip bone was bruised."
The tears flowed and he looked over his shoulder at Justin, the boy had a breathing mask over the lips that had made Zayn so addicted, his incredible cheekbones were covered in bruises and his skin was so pale in contrast to his otherwise golden complexion.
And then it all became too real for Zayn, he had never thought that Justin had so much to deal with. He would never have guessed that he had so many injuries. He would never have believed that the accident had been so bad and fatal.
"My poor baby," Mama Mallette croaked brokenly, trying to fight back the tears.
Zayn's throat clenched; he couldn't imagine the pain she was going through. She witnessed her only child lying in a fucking coma, so close to death with so many injuries. The woman next to him was a true fighter.
She clung to Justin's bandaged hand and breathed a sharp breath because it felt so cold; his fingers seemed as cool as icicles, not like she was used to; normally his hands were soft and warm. She stroked them lightly, paying attention to the stitches and scabs.
"The coma you think he's fighting was caused by his own body, so only he would have control over when he wakes up, if he ever does. But a medical, induced coma is controlled and temporary, a state of sleep that gives your body the chance to heal," the doctor explained soothingly to the two people who were about to start crying.
Zayn's head snapped up and he looked at her with wide eyes. "Controlled?" he wanted to know, her voice no louder than a whisper.
The doctor nodded slowly. "Yes, controlled, we put him in it. And when he gets better, the dosage of the medication will be lower and he will wake up. You have to worry that he won't wake up, because he will."
"Why did you put him in a coma if he didn't have to?" asks Zayn and the anger came from somewhere, he wanted to hit the doctors for letting him fall asleep when he wanted to see his bright brown eyes and hear his voice assuring him that he would be okay.
The doctor didn't like the question and the behavior Zayn was displaying and straightened her shoulders; she really shouldn't have to explain herself. "I don't think you understand how much pain he would be in if he were awake. He would have a severe headache and would hardly be able to breathe because it would hurt so much. The coma was the most humane thing we could have done to ease the pain and allow his body to heal."
Zayn sighed with relief, his eyes glittering. "How long will he sleep?"
The doctor folded her arms, her eyes wandered to the man lying in bed, the memories of the emergency room came back, how the blood wouldn't stop and his heart almost stopped, how they put in lots of stitches to patch him up, put his ribs in the right place and, above all, gave him a scar that would never leave his body.
She sighed, shaking off those thoughts. "It could be a few days, a few weeks, he's not done yet, we need to keep an eye on him."
Zayn had just thought he was going to hear good news and then it was made clear to him that Justin could easily die because nothing was certain. He couldn't breathe on his own, he couldn't eat on his own, he couldn't even move. Zayn moved to the other side of the bed, Mama Mallette watched as she clutched his hand and he began to trace his fingertips along Justin's perfectly tattooed arm. A needle was stuck in the main vein.
Zayn's heart fluttered as the lightning ignited as it always did, well, it was beating wildly as he looked at Justin's closed eyes, he looked fertile but he still had those delicious, soft lips and Zayn's whole body wanted to touch him, as if to make sure he was still here.
"He's really lucky with them," the doctor commented as she saw him lightly run his hand over the skin of his forearm and finally grasp Justin's hand with both hands to warm up the cold fingertips.
Zayn glanced briefly at the heart monitor as he repeatedly ran his thumb over the back of his hand, unable to believe that Justin was really here. In a hospital, in an artificially induced coma.
But it didn't matter, he was alive and for now he was infinitely grateful for that.

-*-

Zayn hadn't left Justin's side, he just couldn't. It was as if his feet were glued to the floor there and he never let go of Justin's fingers. His whole being wouldn't let that happen. His fingers felt so incredibly soft in contrast to Justin's heavily bandaged ones but he didn't care, the feeling of holding the Canadian's hand in his was enough to calm him down.
"Zayn? We want to go to McDonalds to get something to eat, do you want to come with us?" whispered the blonde, he had just as much respect for the nurses, the sterilization, the death and the agony that hung in the air. The hyperactive Irishman could not stand so much silence, it made his whole body restless and he felt like he had enough energy to run a marathon.
Zayn had been a complete sociopath the entire visit and had hardly spoken. He let the others speak, they pretended that Justin could hear them and the doctors said that it would be good for him, it would stimulate the brain activity of the coma patient. But Zayn could not open his mouth to say a single word, he simply could not bring himself to do it.
Maybe it was because Zayn wouldn't know what to say anyway. The last time they had spoken was a few days ago, but the events there were anything but joyful. Zayn's gut clenched at the memory of December 23rd.
"I'm not leaving him alone," Zayn muttered almost to himself, tightening his grip on Justin's hand.
Niall couldn't help but keep looking at the intertwined fingers, the contrast of Justin's incredibly pale and Zayn's caramel-colored ones melting his heart. Niall shuffled his feet restlessly and stuck his hands in his pockets, biting his lip as he thought of something slightly crazy.
"Why don't you go out for a bit with the others and I'll stay here, Zayn? You need to get some fresh air," Niall suggested kindly, not wanting to upset the already emotionally unstable man.
Zayn looked up at Niall, annoyance sparkling in his eyes. "I'm not hungry."
Niall came over to him and made him look at him. "That's bullshit, you haven't eaten anything for a day and a half, we don't need another pop star in the hospital."
"Then bring me something," Zayn said indifferently.
"No food is allowed here in the intensive care unit and I have to ask one of you to leave, I wanted to work here." A nurse interrupted as she came into the room.
Niall looked up at the female voice. "Oh, Zayn was just about to leave anyway, the poor boy hasn't eaten anything for days."
The nurse's eyes widened and she looked at the man who was clutching his husband's hand. "If you don't want to lie here on one of the beds with a needle in your arm, I would really suggest that you eat something."
Zayn's eyes narrowed as he glared angrily at Niall. "I'm sorry, but if you want to sacrifice your own health for that man, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave," she said, briefly pointing at Justin's. "Besides, your boyfriend has never had time alone."
Niall could already see victory coming and he saw a bit of satisfaction in Zayn, whose mouth fell open and his hands clenched into fists. "Hey!" the nurse scolded and Zayn noticed somewhere in the margin that he was just squashing Justin's hand a little. "Don't hurt him! The poor boy has already been through enough in the last few days." She looked at him sternly.
Zayn swallowed the grief and guilt as he slowly let go of Justin's hand. With that, the loneliness and emptiness returned.
"You can always come back, you just have to take a break sometimes, darling. You can't go on without eating or sleeping, take time for yourself sometimes. And you can always stay here for the night," she encouraged him as he got up and was about to leave the room.
Zayn looked up in surprise when he heard the last thing. "I can be here at night?"
The woman's lips curled into a small smile. "That's right."

-*-

Niall paced the small intensive care room, noticing how he was biting his lip as he waited, totally bored.
You could call it disrespectful that he thought that, but sitting in a chair with only one other person in the room, who was also in an induced coma, and a nurse who came in every now and then, wasn't exactly a dream. He hated how quiet it was here, he detested how it felt like walking on glass when you entered this ward of the hospital.
He didn't like it here. He also couldn't understand how Zayn could sit in the exact same chair for hours and get the slightest bit bored.
But then, the situation was a little different when you thought about Zayn.
"May I ask what your relationship is with the man?" the nurse asked as she checked the numbers, took notes and adjusted the heart monitor.
Niall looked up at the young woman, biting his lip uncertainly. "We're... um, f-friends." Niall would love to be able to call Justin a friend but he could well assume that half the world knew that he wasn't actually Justin's friend.
The woman didn't seem to notice Niall's hesitation, she just smiled and hummed softly as she wrote more notes on a pad. "And the other young man? The one who was there earlier?" she asked, her back now turned to Niall as she looked at the machines.
"What about him?" Niall asked, raising an interested eyebrow.
"What is his relationship with the patient? Is he a friend too?" she wanted to know as she took down Justin's blood pressure.
Niall nibbled on his lip, not sure if he should really tell her what their relationship was. She was a different nurse than before, the one from the morning had gone home because of the shift change and it was to be expected that she was not very informed about the patient's private life.
"He is his husband," Niall whispered, but he could hardly believe himself. He should have noticed the damn signs, he should have noticed how Zayn was behaving and he should have known that Zayn...
"I knew it!" she laughed. "No normal boyfriend does what he has been doing for the last six hours."
Niall wanted to throw himself off a cliff. She had noticed that there was more between them and she had only been on shift for a few hours!
Niall only giggled half-heartedly so as not to sound weird. "All right, he's stable, I'll check on the other patients now, keep your hands off the machines." and then the nurse was out the door.
Niall bit his lip, laying his eyes on Justin's face, he couldn't bear to see all the bandages and wires wrapped around his idol. Niall's hands folded as if by reflex and he placed them on his crossed legs.
Niall had been racking his brain for the last twenty-four hours, especially after he had found Zayn crying and screaming on the floor. Niall had debated what he had overheard, trying to come up with theories and assumptions as to why they had kept it a secret from them. But the only thing Niall knew now was that he had a few things to get off his chest.
"Hey Justin, uh, I don't know if you're really hearing me or not, part of me wants you to hear this and part of me is super uncomfortable with it..." Niall started and then stopped again, biting his lip again as he rubbed his forehead and wondered what the hell he was doing here.
Niall quietly cursed himself, why didn't he just finish what he started? He already looked like a total idiot for talking to himself in an intensive care unit.
"I'm Niall, in case you haven't figured out by the accent." Niall forced a laugh, trying to calm himself down a bit and block out the embarrassment.
"I know, I know what secret you've been hiding. I know that about you and Zayn. Zayn hasn't told anyone any details, but he doesn't have to. It's your marriage, not the world's. What am I trying to say? Why am I even talking? It's not like you'd listen to me, Justin." Niall's voice dropped, he complained rather bitterly. "Because no matter how hard I try to make you like me, to make me your friend, you won't let me. I should be angry, no, I'm angry with you, no, you're making me mad, to be honest. Why, you might ask. What did the incredible Justin Bieber do wrong? You didn't do anything wrong, Justin. You're perfect, and that's probably the thing, Justin, because I'm not. I'm the total opposite of perfect, I have no swag, no self-confidence, no self-assurance and above all, we don't really get along. We have absolutely nothing in common and I've often wondered why we don't get along." Niall paused for a moment, took a deep breath, couldn't look at Justin anymore and looked out the window.
"It was never me, it wasn't my fault, Justin. It wasn't your fault either, it's nobody's fault, it just doesn't click. But I know why you didn't even give me a chance..." he paused and sighed.
"It's because you're so focused on Zayn, you've always been so busy with him, right? You get so caught up in your arguments that you couldn't give either of us a chance at all. I was never supposed to have the connection with you that Zayn has with you. And I hated you for it, you know? I really resented you. Justin," Niall continued, letting it all out.
"I really believed that with every additional call, every argument, every insult you shouted at each other, I would get a better chance, that you two would never be friends anyway. But when you and Zayn started writing to each other, talking to each other, when Zayn started asking me more about you and when he always went to you when he ran away from us... that was when I started to feel threatened. But I was still so wrong." Niall sighed, running his hand through his curls, totally frustrated.
"I thought you were trying to take my best friend away from me, I thought you wanted to sneak into Zayn's life and become his new best friend. But I didn't realize, Justin, I didn't realize that that wasn't what you did. I didn't see the signs, I didn't pay attention to the signals and I didn't think it was important that Zayn behaved differently in front of us. But most of all, Justin..." he didn't know whether to finish the sentence and shook his head, cursing.
"...I didn't see how you two fell in love with each other.
I ran my hands through his strands again. "I should have seen it, I should have noticed it. I should have seen it coming when he was talking to you on the phone for ages, how his mood would change so often, how he would either have that endless glint in his eye or snap at everyone who got in his way during a stupid phone call. Why didn't I see it before? Why didn't I see it at the VMA'S? Why not when we were at the Halloween party in New York? When we were in Colorado? How could I not fucking see it?!" Niall groaned in frustration and there was a small silence before he started speaking again.
"But the thing is, how could I possibly see Zayn fall in love when I've never seen him fall in love before. He said he loved Perrie, he swore on his life that he was really in love with her. Maybe he did love her in some way, but I really doubt it. You want to know why, Justin? You want to know why I think Zayn loves you more than he's ever loved anyone before?" Niall knew he wouldn't get an audible answer but he would answer the question anyway.
"Because he cried for you, he sobbed in my arms so hard and so loud it seemed like he would never stop. I've never seen Zayn shed a tear for anyone before except for his grandfather, but that was only a small second before he hid himself again and forced himself not to cry. And I don't understand what the word 'wifey' means to you two, but whatever it is, it broke him. It nearly drove him crazy and there was no turning back." Niall whispered the last few words.
"I've never seen Zayn care about someone so much, I've never seen him cry over someone, I've never seen Zayn cling to someone's hand like he did before and for hours. I've never seen Zayn talk about someone as much as he does about you. You saved him, Justin. You saved my best friend from himself. He was the man who couldn't be moved, the man who sat in the darkest corner of the room and never spoke to anyone unless spoken to. He had this light in his eyes, he had this honest smile that was really rare before you but now it's a normal thing because of you, he walks around full of confidence, happiness and life." Niall smiled slightly. "I don't know what it is about you two, but I guess you never told each other how you felt." Niall chuckled and rolled his eyes. "You're both so similar, both so stubborn and headstrong." Niall
's smile suddenly faded as he turned around, staring at Justin, who hadn't moved. He hadn't expected him to move, he was in a deep sleep, an abyss he had been thrown into because of the drugs. And that was when Niall James Horan got serious.
"Justin, you have to keep going, you have to be strong, you have to fight this. I know there's no way you can hear me but please, you have to get better, you have to recover. If you have no other reason, do it for Zayn. I don't know if he could live with himself because it's so damn unlikely that he could live without you. He loves you Justin, he really fucking does."