Mrs. Bieber [Zustin Mieber FF] English Version

Part 71

Recap:

Their eyes met and the tension immediately built, as Justin froze in his tracks, realizing who had really gotten him out of here. He couldn't believe his eyes and, yes, he was grateful, sure, but that doesn't mean he was happy about it, not in the least.

Justin cleared his throat, his eyes hardened and he gritted his teeth. "I'd rather go back to that fucking cell than have you pay my bail."

Narrator:

Zayn immediately stiffened and he crossed his arms defensively and warding off as his eyes narrowed to slits and he sneered. "Do what you want, I'm happy to save myself a few million."

Justin's teeth gritted harder, he swallowed the lump in his throat, making his Aden's apple bounce. "Don't taunt me."

Zayn's jaw clenched as the jab landed on him, anger practically shining through his car and his stomach rumbled. "So you think you're a total badass just because your license was taken away and you still street raced?" he snorted loudly. "Why don't you give me a real reason to waste my money."

Justin took a challenging step forward and couldn't stop his fists from coming out at the other man. "Don't worry, I can give you one, you son of a bitch."

Zayn should flinch, he should take a step back but he was almost certain Justin wouldn't actually hurt him so he just ignored the weak threat and pretended it had never been said. "I have all night, Justin, you can get any cop and me here and I would still get you out of here."

Justin looked at him completely confused and he blinked curiously as he wanted to know: "And why would you want that?"

Zayn had expected this question, Justin always wanted to know everything. It was like a desire he had subconsciously. "Most people would have just said thank you." Zayn couldn't help but change the subject.

Since Zayn saw how confused and, yes, emotional Justin was right now, he was right when he suspected that Justin would take the bait. "And why should I thank you? Because you're so noble to come here and give away a little money that you already have enough of? Yes, totally, I'm just a millstone around your neck anyway." his voice dripped with sarcasm, so much that it could drip to the floor.

Zayn crossed his arms and stomped forward defensively. "You absolutely ungrateful bastard," he said through clenched teeth.

"What did you expect, Zayn? That I would throw myself on the floor in front of you and give you a blow job? Did you think that I would magically forgive you and throw myself at your neck?"

Zayn flinched noticeably and he searched for some kind of answer.

"And?! Why are you even here?" Justin asked.

Justin couldn't form a sentence, he was completely speechless for some reason, Justin rolled his eyes because he didn't get an answer from the normally eloquent man. "Why am I wasting my time here anyway?" Justin muttered, cursing himself and putting his hands in his pockets.

The black-haired man was completely frozen in his seat, his feet glued to the floor, his hands hanging uselessly at his sides and it seemed as if he was completely brainless. He didn't notice what was happening. It was as if he was stuck as he absently watched Justin as the Canadian left the room.

Justin cursed under his breath and uttered curses as the humid Florida heat hit him. He began to unbutton his shirt, underneath he was only wearing a simple undershirt. He wrinkled his nose in disgust as he felt his skin slippery and sticky, the lack of a shower and deodorant making itself felt.

Then he heard hurried footsteps behind him and his first instinct that it was his ex-wife, Zayn, was confirmed when a hand wrapped around his upper arm. He pulled himself away.

"What the hell are you playing games with, Zayn?" Justin growled, he had had enough of him, his whole body now reminded him of what he had been through the last few months because of him and his heart ached. Justin barely kept his cold gaze as he saw the broken expression on Zayn's face, his beautiful, strong features had faded and they seemed shattered, his eyes gave him an insight into how torn he was inside.

Zayn flinched at the fire in his tone, "I... it's..." he stammered, losing himself in his thoughts, unable to put these thoughts into words.

Justin's jaw clenched, it was almost like an instinct, God he had never been like this before, this man had changed him so much. "You are so pathetic." the Canadian spat at the other.

Zayn's eyes widened at the bitterness in Justin's voice, his heart clenched when he saw how hard and cold the other's eyes were when it hit him. "Such a coward." Justin whispered.

Zayn felt like he wanted to throw up. "It's like I'm talking to a fucking wall!" Justin threw his arms in the air, the other was making him so angry.

Zayn opened his mouth and from that moment on he could no longer control what he said. "I messed up," he screamed helplessly, his voice almost breaking at the volume of the words.

Justin shifted his weight onto his right foot. "Please?!"

Justin seemed to be struggling with himself, he somehow hadn't expected that to be the answer, so he just repeated his words. "I said I messed up."

"I understood you the first time."

Zayn glared at the other man angrily. "Can you please stop listening to yourself for once, just once in your damn short life?!"

Justin's lips twitched but he quickly hid it behind anger, pretending to be annoyed because he knew that the black-haired man would kill him at some point if he wasn't allowed to say what he wanted soon.

Zayn was pretty taken aback for a moment by how cooperative Justin seemed to be, but then he saw how pissed off the man looked, he could see the vein throbbing on his neck and why his jaw was clenching tighter and tighter. At that moment, Zayn was really nervous for the first time since they met. Zayn shrank manically under Justin's gaze and both knew how much still needed to be said between the two of them. Nobody would leave today before everything was said, they would shout and insult each other as best they could.

Justin refused to make eye contact with Zayn, he looked at one of the buildings across the street, tried to ignore the presence of his ex-lover, who was visibly was struggling with words. "I know I really screwed up, Justin."

Nothing could have prepared Justin for the gut punch when Zayn admitted it so directly. "I know what I did to you was completely unacceptable, callous and disrespectful - "

Justin interrupted him here."Respect? Is that all that matters to you? Do you base your whole life on respect?"

Zayn's mouth was still hanging open from before he was interrupted. "You didn't let me finish."

Justin shook his head. "I don't want to hear the rest, Zayn." and then he continued down the street.

Zayn groaned. "I don't care, Justin, because you will! You will let me finish now, without fucking interrupting me!"

Justin stopped listening, his mind replaying everything that had happened in the last few months. His heart ached in his chest, the emotions he thought he had successfully locked away came flooding back, and it took all of his control not to turn around and lunge at Zayn, punching him for causing him so much pain and shattering his heart into a million pieces.

"You're such an asshole!" Zayn yelled behind Justin, fed up with Justin's stubbornness.

Justin turned around, stunned. "I'm the asshole? Me? Are you kidding me?!" Justin asked and laughed humorlessly.

Zayn had stopped, his blood boiling and Justin noticed this. "You have nerve, calling me an asshole, even though you were the one who forced me to sign the damn papers and then showed up at the hospital to leave me a second time when you saw that I was fine. And now you show up again to buy me out."

Zayn's body wanted to crumble under the look Justin gave him, every single word came through cotton wool and only hurt more because he was so unprepared. The raw emotions that he saw flickering through Justin's eyes didn't make it any better, because he regretted everything so much.

"Why? Why are you here? What gives you the right to show up here and act like the good guy when we both know you're an asshole who doesn't care about anyone but himself?" Justin asked, wanting so much to know what Zayn had to say about that, even though he was scared of it.

Zayn was unable to form an answer. "I can't even look at you right now without wanting to strangle you, Zayn." Justin admitted as bluntly as he was.

Zayn gasped and took a step back, as Justin looked pretty serious about making this threat come true. "God, you really are such a coward, I would never harm a hair on your head." (because I love you, blah blah... I ran out of tissues. Guess I have to stop crying...)

"I know you wouldn't." Zayn accidentally said. And it was true, he knew it.

Justin sighed deeply, his shoulders slumped slightly. "Could you answer me something else,Zayn? Before we part ways for good?" (HA YOU THOUGHT BITCH)

A huge lump formed in Zayn's throat that he could hardly swallow, so he only nodded weakly.

Justin bit his lip hard before he could ask the question. "Why did you choose the pain and not me?"

Zayn was slightly confused by this question. "What do you mean by pain and not yourself?"

"Why did you choose to endure the pain rather than be with me?"

Zayn's heart stopped, his brain started working and he froze in mid-movement. Justin cursed loudly and pulled the other towards him to make eye contact. "Zayn, the question is simple," he said. "Why did you choose a life alone and not a life with me?"

Zayn instinctively defended himself. "Don't make yourself out to be more beautiful than you are."

Justin's grip on Zayn's arm tightened. "I'm not trying to make myself look good, I'm just sure that you want me."

Zayn looked at him angrily, tried to break free of Justin's grip, but this time Justin didn't let go, he held on tight and wanted a confession from him, even if it killed him. "Why are you wearing your stupid Christmas present?" Justin wanted to know and looked Zayn straight in the eyes.

Zayn's breath stopped, his gaze wandered down to his chest where the ring was lying on the chain for everyone to see. "I-I, I." Zayn really couldn't defend himself or talk his way out of it, he had nothing to refute the whole thing with and he could even less deal with Justin's look piercing him.

Justin had to swallow hard when he saw Zayn crouched in front of him and tried to stammer something together. "Do you actually know how sick you are, Zayn?" Justin snarled and clutched the gold chain with his free hand. "Did you keep it as some fucking trophy for sneaking into my heart and breaking it?"

Zayn's lips were open and Justin had to fight not to press his against the delicious pink mouth, but the anger and pain gave him the strength not to give in to his hormone-manipulated desires. "H-heart?" Zayn stuttered, completely exhausted, unable to believe that Justin had just confessed something like that to him.

Justin looked at him angrily and silently cursed himself for making such a statement, but now he couldn't take it back anyway. "You really want to stand here and tell me that you didn't know I had feelings for you? Are you crazy? Or are you just totally stupid?!"

Zayn's heart fluttered and bled in bittersweet synchronization. "Zayn." Justin whispered helplessly and vulnerable (WHERE ARE MY TISSUES >_<) "If you and Selena were in a burning building, I'd gladly leave her behind just to save you."

Justin was far too scared of what his heart was feeling but he prayed to God that Zayn would finally get his head out of his ass and understand what he was trying to tell him.

Zayn stared up at Justin completely helplessly, feeling like every word that left Justin's plump lips was a blow to his chest and he doubled over in agony. "Say something!" Justin pleaded with Zayn, who had no words for the other.

Zayn's first and only instinct was to break free and run down the street. It was all becoming too surreal for him. And normally he would have been long gone but this was something completely different. This wasn't some girl he didn't care about, this wasn't some friend he kept for entertainment, this was Justin, someone he really cared about but he was too much of a scaredy-cat to admit it out loud.

"Do you know how that feels, Zayn?" Justin whispered, pain clearly audible.

"Do you know how it feels to know that someone would rather be alone, tormented, pained, bitter and poor than want to be with you? Do you know what it's like to watch someone follow their fears and run away from you? Do you know what it's like to fight for someone who doesn't even want you to fight for them?" Justin laid all his cards on the table, showing everything he felt and what he had felt.

Zayn slowly shook his head and began to walk faster. It wasn't an answer, but a refusal to accept it. He didn't want to be told how much pain he had caused him. He didn't want to be responsible for the man feeling so much sadness and heartache, he didn't want to admit that he had really fucked up.

"So, I'm going to ask you one last time, Zayn, why did you choose the pain and not me?" Justin whispered fiercely. The sound of his voice drove Zayn to the brink of madness.

Zayn couldn't answer him, his throat was so tight and before he knew it, the feeling in Justin's body was gone and the man shook his head hopelessly as he let go of Zayn and turned away without ever looking back, because the pain was too great.

Zayn gasped as he saw - again - how the love of his life walked away from him and inwardly begged for him to be fought for instead of being thrown away like a piece of garbage.

But in vain,Zayn was guided by his fears; again.

-*-

Zayn was standing in front of one of the nearest hotels he could find here. He had no reservation as he had come to Miami on a last minute flight. His hands were buried deep in his pockets. He would stay here overnight as he was far too tired to get on a flight now.

Zayn had tried to eat some dinner as his stomach was growling, but as soon as he saw the sandwich he felt the need to throw up. Despite this he managed to stuff more than half of it into himself as he was afraid he would collapse otherwise as he hadn't eaten anything for hours. However, he was feeling sick now.

He was lost in his thoughts, everything that had happened earlier was playing over and over in his head. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He hated living in such a state of paranoia, he couldn't deal with it anymore. He shut everyone out of his life as soon as he realized that they meant too much to him. It was like a compulsion, a terrible one. And he had been trying to figure out why it was like that for a while, he had no idea what he was feeling right now, but it was anything but platonic.

Because if it had been just platonic, he wouldn't have made such a big deal out of it! He would have just continued on his way, but with each further confrontation between Justin and Zayn, things got more intense and so much more complicated. Things between them were never simple or logical...

Zayn had reached the counter, a single man was crouched behind it at his computer, he looked completely bored. Lost in thought, he moved his mouse and supported himself with one hand as he looked at something.

"Oh! Good evening, sir, how can I help you?" he asked happily and eagerly, finally able to do something.

Zayn cleared his throat and took out his wallet. "I need a room for tonight."

"Okay, just you or are you expecting someone else?" the man asked as he typed away on his keyboard and quickly clicked a few things.

Niall's heart ached at the question. "No, just me."

"Okay, sir, since we're pretty full right now, I have to give you a suit, is that okay?"

"A suit is okay." Zayn could afford it and he didn't want the man to end up kicking anyone out or something, you never knew, he looked pretty energetic.

The man looked at Zayn with a smile and gave him his room key as soon as Zayn had paid. "Mr. Malik, I wish you a good night and a pleasant stay."

Zayn could no longer stand the man's happy demeanor and was about to turn around and go to the elevator. "Oh, and I don't mean to be intrusive, but could you maybe leave me an autograph for my daughter? She's a huge fan of your group." The man's cheeks blushed a little but he would do anything for his daughter.

Zayn nodded with a smile, thinking it was nice to be able to make a father and his daughter happy. He waited until the man handed him a pen and paper and just as he was about to put the pen to the paper to sign, he noticed another, well-known signature on the paper. His heart sank.

"I got really lucky tonight, Mr. Malik, Justin Bieber also arrived here about twenty minutes ago! My daughter will be happy when she sees this on the table tomorrow! I just wish Mr. Bieber wasn't such a bad influence, he was just arrested, but my daughter probably doesn't care, she still loves him for God knows what reason." the man giggled a little, but Zayn's fists clenched and his look could kill.

"He's not a bad influence, to be honest he's one of the friendliest people I know." Zayn growled at the man behind the counter and wanted to smack him.

The man just shrugged his shoulders. "By the way, he's staying overnight in the suit across from yours, you seem to be friends with him." Zayn's heart skipped a beat. "Well, thank you for the signature, my daughter will be so happy."

Zayn just walked away without saying anything, he didn't care if he came across as rude, his feet were taking him somewhere and there was nothing he could do about it. He pressed the elevator buttons and shuffled his feet absently as the elevator went too slowly to the second floor. He waited impatiently for the bell to ring, he just wanted to crawl into his hotel bed and sleep through the night until he checked out in the afternoon. He wanted to feel a soft mattress beneath him and he wanted to finally rest, but another part of him wanted something so much bigger.

When the bell finally rang through the metal box, he jumped into the hallway and hurried to his room, but when he reached his door and already had the key in his hand, he couldn't help but look over his shoulder. Room 143 was there, the suite across from his. He hesitated and bit his lip hard. But for once in his life, he stopped. think and followed his heart.

He turned around and walked towards the white door with the gold number on it, 143. He raised his fist and knocked on it. The sound echoed obnoxiously loudly in the silence. It probably woke up their neighbours but he didn't care. He kept knocking until his knuckles hurt, growing frustrated as the seconds ticked by.

Zayn was just about to turn around and go into his room when he heard the doorknob turn. His heart stopped when he heard the door swing open and Justin with tousled hair stood in the frame. He wasn't fully awake yet, his eyes were hooded and he was wearing only his jeans and undershirt. Zayn didn't think for a second and threw himself at Justin, pressing his lips against his and loving the familiarity that washed over him when he felt the full mouth on his. He lived for the warm feeling and the lightning that flared every time.

Justin tried to stop Zayn from deepening the kiss but when Zayn's tongue parted his lips he moaned in surrender and lost himself in the feeling as Zayn pushed him into the hotel room, their mouths working hotly against each other. He couldn't help it, his whole body wanted this. They both needed each other's touch. Their lips burned from pressing them so hard against each other, so desperate, aggressive, rough and oh so passionate. Justin grabbed Zayn's waist, couldn't get enough of the feeling of Zayn's chest against his. Zayn's hands entwined with Justin's curls and he pulled him impossibly and painfully close, their hearts racing.

Justin couldn't fight it, couldn't pull away from Zayn's addictive lips. Zayn's heart fluttered like a newly hatched butterfly, he clung to the other with all his might, planning to never let the man go.

Zayn pressed himself against Justin's chest causing the other to stumble back at the unexpected force, Justin's grip didn't loosen but only tightened, the anger and hurt could be clearly felt in the heated kiss, tongues entwined, mouths battling as their little reunion took place.

Zayn pushed him further and further back, her legs stumbling as she made it towards the bedroom, no words spoken, nothing heard but moans and sighs and whimpering because the feeling of each other was too good. They wanted each other so much, they had missed each other so much. Justin began kissing down Zayn's neck, loving the sounds his lover made as his lips and teeth grazed the rough skin. Zayn's hands got hopelessly lost in Justin's hair and he threw his head back, silently begging for more and cursing himself for ever thinking he could live without these feelings, and for accepting that he would have to continue his life without this wonderful man by his side.

Zayn clawed at Justin's back and scratched at it as their lips met again, their teeth clashed and they both whimpered, both were there, lust and anger, growls and moans filled the hotel room as they made their way to Justin's unmade bed, entwined in each other.

Zayn pushed Justin's chest onto the mattress, which made the last one fall backwards. Zayn didn't wait long and was lying on Justin's upper body, perhaps a little too quickly and forcefully. "F-fuck," Justin cursed and pushed him off of him.

"What is it?" Zayn asked worriedly.

Justin doubled over slightly in pain. "My ribs aren't fully healed yet, it hurts like hell."

Immediately the guilt returned and Zayn carefully put a hand on his shoulder and turned him slightly to look at him, the pained expression on his face almost killing him. He ran his finger over Justin's new tattoo that intentionally covered the scar on Justin's chest. Zayn could feel every little bit of pain from the days in the hospital coming back and his eyes began to burn as he felt the slight deformation on Justin's perfect golden skin. "What does it stand for?" Zayn just had to ask why Justin wanted a cross in the middle of his chest where the whole world could see it. He shouldn't say anything, he had two angel wings on his chest himself but he was just too curious.

Goosebumps ran all over Justin's body and he could see the pain in Zayn's eyes; he cursed himself for hurting another person. (Oh shut up, you're too good for this world, what do you think Zayn does all the time? He makes a living from hurting others... fml) He had endured the sobbing of Heidi and his mother but he couldn't bear to see the pain on Zayn's face. "Because God gave me a second chance at life."

"It wasn't time for you yet." Zayn whispered and leaned forward to place a light kiss on the scar. Justin's heartbeat quickened at this loving gesture.

Everything went quiet again as Zayn's lips spread many small kisses all over Justin's upper body while he just lay there and watched curiously. His heart was beating a lot, too fast, tumbling over but something in his thoughts was bothering him. They told him that he was not yet over the pain that he had caused Zayn. It was stuck in the back of his mind. He still had doubts about Zayn, why had he shown up and thrown himself into Justin's arms, what did that mean? They had never come clean and that bothered Justin because he was sick of Zayn always playing with his heart, playing tricks on his mind and always showing up when he wanted to only to disappear when it got too bad for him.

Justin pushed these thoughts aside and enjoyed the feeling of Zayn's tongue all over his chest. Zayn raised his head and threw his jacket into a corner. "God, I want you." he whispered as he turned his attention to Justin's neck, sucking and biting the soft skin.

Justin's eyes rolled back as he held onto Zayn's ass as Zayn's eager hands wandered to the other's pants. It seemed like seconds and both were completely naked, rubbing against each other faster than ever before. Both wanted the other's body closer and closer, it was as if they could never be close enough to each other, their minds were clouded with lust and desire.

Justin positioned himself at Zayn's entrance, the way it contracted around him sent hundreds more lightning bolts through his body. Zayn held on desperately to the sheets as Justin slowly penetrated him further and further. The longing to be completely filled by Justin's length grew and Zayn instinctively grabbed Justin's hand, intertwined their fingers and hissed like a snake when he felt the familiar burn. Justin kissed him soothingly, wanting to touch him with his full lips. which tasted absolutely wonderful. Zayn pressed himself even closer to Jutsin as he wanted to feel him deeper and completely inside him.

Zayn moaned loudly, pain and pleasure mixed together and soon Justin's self could move too, Zayn moaned more and more, not bothering to hide his noises as he completely enjoyed finally being reunited with Justin.

Justin's lips never left Zayn's body, his mouth was always on his shoulders, neck, cheeks, forehead or wherever he could reach and the whole time he did it so passionately and with so much affection. He gave Zayn his full attention, had to make sure that Zayn felt as good as he did. His heart almost burst in his chest when their eyes met, the thrusts were slow and their breathing not quite as fast as usual.

A tear ran from the corner of Justin's eye from the pleasure and the great emotions he was experiencing. His heart almost exploded in his chest and the fireworks came alive in his body. In that moment he knew that things would never be the same again.

Zayn took Justin's head between his hands and kissed him desperately and passionately, the rough and at the same time soft lips almost drove him crazy. He loved how Justin let his hands wander full of affection, how he kissed back full of passion, he loved absolutely everything the man did to him.

(Song on the side)

Their lips were just pressed together, their breath blowing hotly over each other's faces, their hearts beating almost perfectly in sync as they both climaxed together. They both moaned loudly at the shockingly intense orgasm that made their bodies shake before they fell exhausted onto the mattress.

A normal couple would have snuggled up under the sheets and slipped into sleep, tightly entwined, but this was not a normal couple. Justin looked at Zayn briefly, taking in the way the man's chest rose and fell as he tried to regulate his breathing.

Justin closed his eyes for a moment before he got up and looked for his boxer shorts, when he found them he started to gather Zayn's things together.

Zayn finally got his breath back and noticed that Justin was no longer lying next to him in bed but was picking things up from the carpet. "What are you doing?"

Justin had gathered everything he knew and tossed it to the blissed-out man. "Here are your things."

Zayn smiled warmly. "Thanks." and then, struggling a little with the burning in his backside, he began to slip into his boxers.

Justin looked at him. "Can you please go now?"

Zayn froze, his whole body stiff at the unexpected question. "What?"

Justin crossed his arms. "Can you please go now?"

Zayn was completely baffled. "Why? I mean, I know I have my own room but I wanted to spend the night with you."

Justin's heart went cold at that sentence. "Well, I want you to go though, so can you please do that? Be quiet though, think of the other people here."

"I don't care about them! Why are you throwing me out like I'm a cheap whore?" Zayn wanted to know as he got up from the bed, completely confused and insulted.

Justin crossed his arms. "Because I got what I wanted."

Zayn was perplexed at first and then it all became clear to him. "You bastard! You just wanted sex, didn't you?! All you said was to get me back in your bed, right?!"

Justin's lips curled into a smile, even though his heart told him not to, his mind was stronger this time. "How does it feel, Zayn? When someone plays with you?"

Zayn didn't answer, he stopped listening, he took his clothes apart and put them on as quickly as he could, almost tripping over his jeans and shoes. "Are you serious? Was that a stupid trick to get back at me just because I'm an idiot?!"

Justin shook his head. "No, I'm just done with you."

Zayn's eyes widened at the direct admission. "So you're kicking me out after we're done making love?"

Justin growled and walked towards him angrily. "To make love, you need two people who love each other, not just one person who is in love."

Zayn threw his arms in frustration. "What makes you think I don't love you?!"

"Because you've never proven anything else to me! You just show up here and throw yourself into my arms, completely manipulating the situation because you know how I feel about you. But I don't want to anymore! I've put up with your weird, sick games up to this point, Zayn! I don't deserve this shit! I'm not going to wait here for you until you finally realize that you're fucking gay and in love with me!" Justin yelled at him.

Zayn flinched back. "I'm not gay!"

Justin closed his eyes for a moment. "Go." he said calmly and when Zayn didn't move: "I said go!"

Zayn still didn't move, he looked at Justin in complete disbelief, he actually threw him out. Somehow he expected Justin to suddenly say that it was all a joke but the moment never came. "Are you deaf? I said go!"

Zayn flinched again at the loud voice, his heart tore in two when he saw how cold and serious Justin was looking at him. He pointed to the door. Zayn knew that he was unwanted and he knew that Justin would throw him out himself if he didn't leave now. Justin sighed

in annoyance, he walked to the door and threw it open, pointing with his hand towards the hallway.

Zayn slowly walked towards the door, his stance stiff as if he expected Justin to suddenly shove him out or become violent in some other way. Zayn's eyes burned with tears threatening to fall, his body shaking from all the sobs that wanted to break free. His heart bled in his chest just from a few simple words exchanged and that death glare Justin had given him.

Zayn walked out of the room and Justin didn't even say goodbye before slamming the door. Zayn stared at the door in disbelief, his heart shattering into many small pieces, the tears overflowing and he couldn't help but grab the chain around his neck and rip it off.

When he had his fist wrapped around it, he swung his hand back and threw the gold at the door with all the strength he had. "I love you, you fucking bastard! Are you happy now? You broke my heart as much as I broke yours!" he didn't care that people were sleeping, he didn't even think about them. And he had no idea that Justin had just collapsed to the floor on the other side of the door, crying tears that only Zayn could do anything about.

Zayn cried out in frustration, violently pulling at his own hair and walking down the hall, crying out in despair and pain over and over again because he couldn't explain what he was feeling. He couldn't compare this situation to anything else because this was probably the worst thing that had ever happened to him. It was slowly eating him up from the inside and he couldn't stop the pain in his chest, just like the tears. He just wanted to throw himself off one of the tall buildings.

But before he could actually do that, he heard a door open and his attention was drawn to Justin who picked up the small piece of jewelry from the floor, cupping it in his large hand.

"You're wrong, Zayn. Nothing can ever compare to what you did to me. And I could spend my whole life getting back at you, but you would never suffer enough as I did. And it's too late, wifey. It's too late."

-*-

Zayn stormed through the lobby of the hotel in Atlanta, bumping into strangers and hotel employees, but still not looking up. He couldn't, he looked completely exhausted, his eyes red-rimmed with tears that he wanted so badly to shed but couldn't. At least not alone.

The pain that he never thought could be like this spread through his body and made him whimper in agony before he could give way to the emptiness. Zayn raced towards the elevator, hoping to get in with as few people at once. He couldn't bear to have their bodies pressed against his.

When he pressed the button and the doors closed, he slumped against the door, exhausted, knowing that he could collapse at any moment. It was only a matter of time before he would sink into his own misery.

The sound of the bell rang and he walked out into the private hallway that they had rented especially for the band and crew. It felt like years had passed since he left the hotel, but it hadn't been much more than 12 hours.

Zayn couldn't go to his room, he knew he wouldn't be able to stand being alone there, because that was what he had always done. Withdrew himself with his pain and he couldn't do that anymore. He brought a warm hug to someone who whispered words of encouragement in his ear, or just a comfortable silence. The main thing was that someone was there. And that someone was sitting in his room with his feet on the coffee table, drinking his glass of Coke while he looked through the channels on his TV.

Zayn probably almost broke his fingers when he knocked on the wooden door, but he didn't care, he was in a hurry and he just had to get into that room.

Niall looked at the door in surprise at the sound and immediately stood up, throwing the remote control aside, the Coke still in his hand. He assumed, of course, that it was Zayn and he really wanted to know how it went.

However, Niall knew immediately when he saw the boy with red, tear-stained eyes and untied, matted hair standing in front of him. Niall silently held the door open for him and watched him as he went in and dropped onto the sofa.

Niall was just about to decide to ask what had happened when he saw his friend's glittering eyes and pained facial expressions. He didn't even have the heart to whisper that he had told him, because Zayn pressed his face into Niall's shoulder and could no longer hold back the warm tears.

He felt so fucking stupid, he felt absolutely dirty and he couldn't believe how much his chest hurt, like it had been trampled on by Spanish bulls. But he just cried into the shirt of his best friend, who knew that it had been a terrible idea for Zayn to take Justin out. He had known that he wouldn't come back the same as he left, the man in his arms was completely broken, shattered into a million pieces and he hated himself for it.

"I-I told him I loved him, Niall." Zayn managed to say between sobs, admitting how much he was in love with Justin.

Niall's eyes widened but he wrapped his arms tighter around his best friend. He didn't even ask any more questions, just assumed that Justin either didn't feel the same anymore or was too hurt by what Zayn had done to him to give him another chance.

"Is this what love feels like, Niall? Does it hurt that much to love someone?" Zayn croaked helplessly, trying to understand why it hurt him so much.

Niall sighed and ran a hand through Zayn's unruly hair. "No, Zayn, it doesn't feel like that. Love is supposed to be one of the best feelings there is. It's supposed to make you happy." Niall said, but what did he know. He had never been in love before and he knew for a fact that love brings just as much pain as happiness.

Zayn whimpered into Niall's shoulder, he didn't know how people survived that kind of pain. This was much worse than a broken bone or any kind of physical pain. It was so much worse.

Niall hummed soothingly to him, even rocking him back and forth as he cried his eyes out. "Maybe it was for the best, Zayn. Maybe you two just weren't meant for each other," Niall said quietly as he rubbed his best friend's back. "But that doesn't mean you won't fall in love again. People usually fall in love more than once in their lives," he whispered, trying to mend Zayn's heart a little.

"But I also know, Zayn," he said, barely audible because his voice broke, "that Justin will always be your first great love."