Mrs. Bieber [Zustin Mieber FF] English Version

Part 51

Zayn

I've had a countdown in my head all week. Three more days, two more days, and today is the day. I've been so excited all week, ever since the package arrived. I hadn't had a chance to call him to thank him, but I thought it would be better if I expressed my gratitude to him in person.
I hadn't been able to get the whole three-month marriage thing out of my head all week. Has it really been that long? Three months already? Actually, it felt like years, being married to Justin isn't easy. It felt like a job, he stressed me out so much. More than my music business did.
Another thought that kept going through my head was that he had actually remembered. I felt like a complete asshole for not thinking about it. I mean, I wasn't thinking about any anniversaries, I mean, we weren't in a relationship.
And another thing, who celebrates three months?
There were maybe the traditional anniversaries like six months and a year, but who celebrates three months? Well, Justin wasn't a normal guy and this marriage wasn't really traditional either.
Hell no, it was a load of crap, we didn't get married because we wanted to, we didn't even plan it. Instead we were drunk and our brain cells were dead or out of commission. We just did it on a whim, it was drunk, spontaneous and if we had been even a little bit sober we never would have done it anyway.
"Zayn, should I buy you tickets for your birthday so we can see the Nutcracker?" Louis brought me out of my trance. I hadn't realized that I had been staring at my plate of lunch until I looked up to answer Louis.
I just glared at him while the other guys laughed and almost choked on their drinks. Except for one, Harry just looked at Louis bored and then said. "Enough with the ballet jokes, they're getting old." He rolled his eyes as if to say, okay, we get it, now shut up, it's getting annoying.
Louis gasped indignantly, crossing his arms. "No, they won't! You're overreacting!"
Now it was my turn to snort. "You asked me if I wanted to study Russian ballet when I was younger, if my favorite film was The Black Swan and you bought me the soundtrack to Swan Lake on iTunes!"
Louis just cracked his knuckles. "You say that like I bought you a leotard, tights and ballet shoes."
"You did!" the four of us said at the same time and he pulled a face as we started to get him ready. Nevertheless, the fun he was having here sparkled in his eyes and the little grin formed immediately.
"You're all exaggerating!" he tried to shout, seriously offended, but the laughter was clearly audible.
Snorting, I turned back to my ribs, but they were nothing compared to the ones I had at Justin's restaurant, Bar Americains. They were so sweet, juicy and you couldn't help but lick your fingers afterwards.
I definitely wouldn't mind licking the barbecue sauce that was all over it off Justin once and I felt my lip twitch at the fact that tonight was the concert and my knee started to wobble just because I was nervous too.
"If Zayn keeps pulling faces like that and prancing around like a pony, I can't help it!" Louis defended himself, pointing desperately at me with both hands like in a musical.
I rolled my eyes. The prancing around was probably related to the fact that I was acting so nervous.
"Why are you suddenly so excited? I swear, the seams are going to burst at some point, that's how much excitement there is in you." Niall joked, raising his sandwich to his mouth.
"And we can't let that happen! All the money we'd waste just to patch you up!" Louis exclaimed and I raised an eyebrow, a grin on my lips.
I raised my hand to my ear, looking at the rest of the guys. "Did you hear something? I thought I heard something like hate..."
Louis snorted. "Oh please! I don't hate you! I'm just clarifying that your face is too perfect to be true! You should be flattered."
"What was that Louis? I couldn't hear you, your hate is too loud." I sneered, still grinning, leaning further forward.
Louis growled and muttered, "Cocky bastard." to himself. I just grinned triumphantly and added, "Oh and thank you very much, Louis. I like that you think my face was made by the gods themselves."
He looked at me in disbelief and that's when I noticed the boys all staring at me like I'd just told them I had cancer.
I narrowed my eyes. "What? Why are you all looking at me like that?"
Niall laughed stiffly and the boys managed a little laugh too. "Since when are you so witty and sarcastic?" asked Louis.
I frowned. "What do you mean since when? I always have been."
Louis shook his head vigorously as if he was trying to shake something off. "We've known you for almost four years now and you've never been this sarcastic or clever!"
I looked at Niall. "Are you trying to tell me that I've been completely stiff and boring for the last four years?"
Niall started to shake his head but Louis bluntly interrupted. "Yes, exactly."
I pouted and looked at Louis.
"Louis! What's wrong with you?!" Liam scolded him, his fork falling onto his plate as he picked up the Doncaster.
"What?" he asked angrily. "He wanted an honest answer and I gave it to him! I wouldn't lie to him, I like this witty, sarcastic Zayn much better than the quiet, temperamental, overly serious Zayn we've spent the last four years with! Don't you agree? You told me yourself that you wish Zayn would loosen up a bit and you wouldn't have to handle him like a raw egg anymore." It felt
like the whole world stopped for a moment and all I could hear, understand and perceive were Louis' words, I could feel the sting as they reached me, my breath stopped and I tried not to let them bother me, but I couldn't help it.
I looked up, my whole body filled with hurt and pure, brutal honesty that seeped into me through his tone and then hit me like a moving train. I saw Liam looking at me in shock and Louis biting his lip and the whole table was so quiet, so so quiet.
I swallowed the food that was still in my mouth, reaching for my glass to wash it down, along with the anger and the need to just knock the whole table over.
"Zayn?" Niall whispered, trying to grab my shoulder since he was sitting right next to me, but I just flinched away. It took everything I had not to just get up and run away. Like I wanted to and always did.
"There he does it again, keeping everything to himself. They're not kidding when they say that showing someone their mistakes only makes them worse," Louis muttered.
The fork fell onto my plate, enough was enough. I raised my gaze to glare at him, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched as I gritted between my teeth, "What's wrong with being quiet? What's wrong with not being loud? After all, my face isn't plastered all over magazines for having a big mouth. Unlike you, Louis, I'm not an attention-seeking whore," I spat, my voice deep, deadly, emotionless. My hands were already balled into fists and now I wanted to just throw the table over even more but it wasn't worth it. Louis
winced, eyes wide as I insulted him. Something I never do, I never insult anyone, like he said, I keep it to myself. I never brought attention to myself, I was the conservative one in our ensemble and I wanted to keep it that way.
"And maybe the reason I'm not the sarcastic one and the clever one is because none of you are. Maybe, just maybe, I just can't be my true self when I'm around you guys because all you do is overshadow me. But I don't blame you because I let that happen, I let you guys have the spotlight and I don't want to be under that microscope like never say I'm lonely when I'm just being conservative."
I didn't snap at her, my voice was at a perfectly respectable level, I didn't scream or yell at her. I was just stating my thoughts and feelings in a tone like Justin had. Because you get to the point when you stay calm and don't get dramatic.
I raised my glass. "Here's to you guys for being the best friends I could ever have." and smiled at them, Niall looked at me with frightened eyes, Harry hadn't said a word as he bit his lip and I could see he felt terrible. But I knew Harry probably just felt sorry for me. I knew they all meant well but sometimes they were all just complete assholes.
"Zayn - " Liam started and I could already see from his posture and his apologetic eyes that he was trying to explain himself but I just smiled.
"It's okay Liam, at least now you know I'm not a hopeless case and you don't have to be afraid that I'll have a mental breakdown if you talk to me." I shrugged and loved the feeling of being so sassy. I could understand why some people loved to treat people like that when they were angry. It made you feel powerful.
The whole table was still a little speechless and I smiled at them. "I'm done here, I'll pay even though it's not my turn - oh and by the way, the reason I smiled -" I sneered and the heads of the four automatically snapped towards me. "- is because I'm going to a Chris Brown concert with Justin tonight. I made peace with him and now we're friends. Unlike you, the way you're acting right now." I snapped at the end, my heart clenching. I knew they were my friends, they cared about me and so on but the fact that they were talking about me behind my back... they just didn't understand me, they never have. They just didn't have the strength to break down the strong walls that were very close to those of China. I loved the guys with all my heart but I needed a break now.
I could see how their eyes had gotten bigger and bigger and they were about to apologize but I raised a hand to silence them. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine, just my ego is a little bit bruised but I'm going to live. Have a nice day, I'll just walk back to the hotel." and then I waved at them. Niall's eyes looked so broken. He was my best friend in this group but he hadn't stood up for me.
Maybe, maybe I was alone in a room full of people. Especially the ones I'd shared rooms with for over three years.
"Zayn!" I could hear Niall's voice calling after me but I just kept walking. I knew maybe I'd taken it all a little personally, but Louis was kind of right.
When you show someone your mistakes, they only get worse.
I pulled out my phone so I could call the only person I knew was in town and the only person I could stand right now.
"Wifey, we weren't supposed to see each other until tonight."

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Narrator