Mrs. Bieber [Zustin Mieber FF] English Version

Part 65

Narrator

Zayn was still clinging to Niall, his arms ached but he hoped the pain would go away if he had someone to lean on. In some sick and selfish way Zayn wanted to transfer all the pain onto someone else, he couldn't handle it all. It was too overwhelming, too consuming and too damn much all at once.
Every little feeling was pumped through his body, etching through Zayn's skin and he couldn't handle it, he had never experienced anything like it. He had never lost complete control of his feelings, he always kept them locked away somewhere. Actually, you could never experience him like this.
Mama Mallette came into the room, her own eyes swollen and red from crying incessantly. She didn't say a single word, not a syllable came out of her lips as she walked towards the two men sitting on the floor.
It was a strange view, no one would ever think that Zayn could drown in his own tears and pain. Everyone would swear that Zayn had no feelings, that he was cold, heartless, soulless and cold-blooded.
He was the complete opposite, he might not show his emotions by crying or breaking down but that didn't mean he didn't feel anything. He just usually dealt with it differently, he didn't show others what he felt like most people did. He didn't believe in intimacy, he didn't like showing his feelings and he hated and detested the feeling of being vulnerable.
But sometimes, even the strongest walls break down. The Titanic, for example, was a ship that people swore not even God could make sink and look where the ship was now, on the bottom of the ocean. People aren't meant to be invincible, that's why they have such soft skin and even softer hearts.
Mama Mallette got on her knees and crawled towards the still quietly sobbing Zayn, her heart aching but she couldn't help but smile weakly as she looked at the boy who tried so hard to keep his feelings to himself and now broke down. And that too for her son, the only man who had managed to successfully break every barrier Zayn had so carefully created.
Niall still had his arms around the black-haired man, he knew how much his best friend needed him. He just still didn't understand why the little word wifey had to be the last straw.
The mother was closer now, her hand on Niall's shoulder. "It's okay, I can take over now."
Niall shook his head. "I'm not leaving here, he needs me." he protested and although his arms started to hurt, he tightened his grip.
Her lips twitched lovingly. "You're a good friend," she commented honestly, noticing how Niall wouldn't leave.
"Not good enough to know that my best friend is married to my idol, not good enough to notice that..." he didn't finish the sentence and looked down into his arms, where Zayn was almost unconscious, with small tears still running down his cheeks. His heart pounded painfully, he had always wanted Zayn to show his feelings but now he wanted to take that back. He regretted it, Niall was the sensitive one of the two, he was the one who should actually run into Zayn's arms when he had an emotional crisis.
But now he gritted his teeth and you could see the determination in his eyes, it was his turn to offer Zayn protection. It was him who had to stay strong to play the perfect and supportive friend.
"That?" Pattie whispered and ran her fingertips over Zayn's forehead to brush away the hair and then leaned forward to place a kiss on it.
Niall shook his head, abandoning what he had started earlier. "He fell asleep," he said as he felt the weight in his arms even more. The man had really cried himself to sleep.
"Can you carry him to bed?" she asked Niall.
Niall laughed weakly. "It's not that heavy." and then he started to sit up a little so he could pick the boy up from the floor and carry him to the huge king size bed that was in the middle of the room.
"What is that?" Mama Mallette asked when she saw the chain lying on the floor with the ring on it. It must have fallen out of Niall's grip when he picked up the boy.
Niall looked over his shoulder as he struggled a bit to walk upright, he saw the chain being picked up by the woman and looked at with interest. "It's Zayn's." Niall informed her.
"But, it says Wifey." she muttered, wondering why that word was on a ring for a man.
Niall laughed softly. "I don't get it either, maybe it was an insider." then he continued walking towards the mattress. He picked up one of the thinner blankets and threw it over Zayn's body who wanted to snuggle slightly into the sheets.
"Apparently he likes to cuddle." Mama Mallette teased, the corners of her mouth lifting a little as she watched Zayn.
Niall's eyes widened as he watched his best friend search for something to hold on to. It seemed subconscious but also somehow conscious and he whimpered slightly when he found nothing, his lips pressed into a line and his brows furrowed as he noticed there was nothing here but the sheets and pillows.
"That's just it, he doesn't usually like it."

-*-

Zayn was woken up by the ringtone of a cell phone that was on the nightstand next to the bed. Niall had left it there when he left. Zayn was quite disoriented but didn't care, he fumbled for his phone and realized it was his mother and not the hospital.
"Hello, Mum?" he asked in a whisper.
"Oh honey! I heard about Justin's accident on the news, is he okay? How are you?" she started asking immediately, reminding Zayn of everything he had tried to forget.
He hated how he felt right now. Dazed, slow, sluggish, sluggish and exhausted. That was why he hated allowing these feelings to flood him, leaving him completely drained and empty. He hated how dry his throat felt and how hard the dried tears had become on his cheeks.
Zany didn't know how to tell her, because if he said it chewily it would really become real. And she didn't even know that he was Justin's closest relative.
"So? Are you in the hospital? Is he going to be okay? Safaa cried her eyes out about it, tell me you know something!" his mother's voice came through the phone as Zayn's thoughts began to clear and his body went numb and lifeless. Something that happens far too often when he feels too many thoughts and feelings racing.
"Mum," he managed to say, his eyes filling with tears again even though he'd cried like Niagar Falls last night, so he still had tears left and his throat could still tighten.
"Yes, baby? What is it?"
"Mum, Mum, Mum," he started to cry again, not holding back the tears.
"Baby, what is it? Tell me, honey, I'm here for you." her voice seemed worried but also pained, she had never seen her son cry for more than a minute except when he was a baby, but even then, he wasn't one to cry much or often. And the sheer fact that she could hear his sobs, the kind you want to hold in because otherwise you'll start screaming, scared her.
"He... he... He is m-my... husband... Mum, he is my husband. And... and..." he couldn't find any more words, he clutched the phone with both hands and tried not to break down again, this time in front of his mother, the woman who always welcomed him with open arms.
Mama Malik gasped sharply, which made Zayn hunch his shoulders and he began to prepare himself. He had no idea how she would react, he was afraid that she would just hang up and disinherit him.
"Oh honey," she whispered, shocking Zayn like hell but not really helping him. Because the fact that she didn't seem angry or shocked only made his vision blur even more.
"That explains everything."
Zayn's body shook with another violent sob and he rubbed his cheeks over and over to wipe away the salty water.
"What's wrong, baby? Is he going to be okay?" she asked gently, not wanting to bring up his feelings any further.
"He's critical," he hiccupped between sobs. "They don't know if he'll make it, Mom."
"Breathe, honey, you don't want to suffocate, do you? Take a deep breath, for me, okay?" she said gently, wanting her son to calm down.
Zayn did as he was told, breathing in and out as best he could. His heart calmed down a little and he had air in his lungs again. "Mum, I ruined it, I ruined everything."
Mama Malik didn't want to blame him for his choice of words, he was already such an emotional wreck and getting blamed by his mother wouldn't help him in this situation.
"Why do you think that, baby? What have you done?"
The shame, self-hatred and regret slowly began to seep through the agony and Zayn couldn't help but want to throw himself off a building. He didn't want to confess to his mother what he had done, he didn't want to disappoint her but he also knew that she would give him a hard time if he told her.
"I found a ring, Mum, I found a ring that he wanted to give me. We didn't get married properly, Mum, we woke up in Las Vegas, totally fucked, like in the movie 'What Happens In Vegas'. Neither of us wanted that, we hated each other, all we did was argue, all we do is fight, shout and swear. He takes every opportunity to annoy me, either he jokes about everything or he doesn't take me seriously. It's kind of his life's goal to make my life difficult. And he's always so quiet, he doesn't care what he does, what he says, how he says it and how he does it, he just does it. And then we started having sex, Mum, we made out. We called it 'husbands with benefits' because we were married and now we weren't supposed to be. It made so much sense the whole time and we kept it a secret. From the boys, from our families, from the public and from our management. Everything we did was behind closed doors, with curtains drawn and in darkened rooms. It was so exciting, Mum, so satisfying always having to be careful not to get caught. It was all a fucking game, a little damn hide and seek, who could fool the other better. It was a stupid rollercoaster. Half the time I wanted to put my hands around his neck and strangle him, but Mum, I think I've lost him forever now."
"No, no, no, don't say that, darling. What you two have sounds absolutely crazy, but in a good way of course. It sounds like a great adventure. What makes you think you lost it? You said you found a ring..."
"Yes, a ring I was never meant to see. A ring that wasn't meant for me anymore," Zayn corrected with a bitter laugh.
"What do you mean by that?" she asked, not quite sure what to make of it.
Zayn sighed. "Because I broke his heart before he could give it to me, Mum. His fucking heart was in my hands and I broke it into a million pieces."

-*-

They all sat around the dining table again, pizza boxes stood in the middle so that everyone could help themselves. Nobody spoke and absolutely nobody brought up Zayn's emotional breakdown.
Zany couldn't eat anything, he couldn't even look at the pizza without wanting to throw up. He kept looking at the other side of the table and expected to see a grinning Justin devouring one piece after the other. He could just see the wink that Justin would send him when he reached for his Coke.
Zayn's stomach twisted and turned, he was unable to start a conversation with anyone and he didn't want to.
Liam and Heidi had grown closer, there were always these little touches that proved it. Liam always wanted to make sure she was okay. He never wanted to see her sob as much as she did yesterday, but he would be lying if he said it didn't make him a little proud that she trusted him so much, crying in his arms while he held her tight.
Mama Mallette nibbled lightly on one of the pizza slices, she wouldn't be able to keep much down but she was so distracted by Zayn that she subconsciously tried anyway. She watched his movements and saw how he was looking at the place at the end of the table, waiting the whole time. She also noticed how he hadn't touched his food either. He had changed his clothes from yesterday into something simple, a pair of black jeans and a white shirt, he didn't seem to care much about how he looked. His untied hair, which was hidden under his beanie, also spoke of that.
His eyes were hollow and empty, red-rimmed with deep shadows under his eyes. He simply looked like shit. But he didn't care, he didn't care about his appearance. He didn't have enough vanity left to care, he just didn't have the energy. Because his husband was probably lying bandaged in one of the hospital beds right now.
And she could also tell that he had something on his mind, something he was holding back, something he wanted to shout from the rooftop.
The cell phone was always in his hand, in his pocket or next to him, he turned it on every two seconds and hoped that the hospital would call. He was so damn scared that they would call to tell him that something had gone terribly wrong, or that... God, he didn't even want to think about it.
"Zayn, could you please stop?! You're making us all fucking nervous checking your phone every second," Heidi suddenly snapped, glaring at him angrily. She hated the way he was acting, like he cared about him. He had proven nothing, he had done nothing but cry. And she wasn't going to forgive him that easily. (Dafuq...)
"You know what? Fuck you," Zayn growled at her, he couldn't take her anymore. He was sick and tired of the way she was behaving, she had kicked him in the fucking balls and punched him in the face, the bruise was still there and for the past few days she had been making comments like that all the time.
Heidi sat up angrily, Liam's eyes widened, his jaw dropped when he saw that an argument was brewing between one of his friends and his girlfriend.
"Excuse me?" Heidi asked slowly, giving him a chance to take back what he had said.
"You heard exactly what I said, bitch. I'm tired of putting up with your shit, I know what I did, I know you fucking know and I already feel like shit about it," he replied.
Liam wanted to open his mouth to defend his girlfriend when he heard the scrape of a chair on the floor. Heidi jumped up and pointed angrily at Zayn.
"You should too!" she screamed at him and slammed her clenched fist on the table.
"I am! But actually, all this shit is none of your business. You have no right to put me down, this has nothing to do with you. It's my marriage, not yours! So leave me alone!" he spat at her, his fists also clenched under the table.
Heidi flinched and wanted to open her mouth. "Heidi, he's right, leave him alone."
"Please?! Whose side are you on now?! He deserves to hear what I have to say about him!" Heidi yelled at her twin, not liking the way he was behaving.
Beck looked at her, his eyes dark and cold, almost bored, his teeth clenched while he furrowed his brows, trying to keep his temper. "You're interfering in the relationship way too much, you need to take a step back, Heidi."
"No! Don't you dare tell me that! You weren't the one who had to listen to everything, you weren't the one who had to watch him run around like he was lost. You didn't see him trying to beat up every living thing, you didn't see how close he was to a breakdown, you didn't have to hold him when he held on to you and cried. You're not his best friend!" Heidi yelled at him. "And besides, you definitely don't feel like lunging at the bastard and killing him!"
Zayn flinched in his chair and prepared to take the blows right away, but the death glare from Beck's twin sister stopped him.
"I won't let you hurt him again," Beck snarled at her.
"I'll hurt you if I have to, it's never stopped me before."
Beck's movements stiffened, the inner conflict within him fighting to break out and put his sister in chains for a few weeks to calm her down. He had never gotten physical with Heidi before, not with women in general, but Heidi had certainly given him a few.
"Look Heidi, you and I both know what would happen if Justin found out that you threatened Zayn and it would not end well." Beck reminded her, which immediately silenced Heidi because she really knew it just as well as Beck.
Zayn was a little taken aback as he watched the twins exchange glances and slightly twist their faces. Zayn didn't know if it was twin telepathy or something, or if she knew something he didn't know, but whatever, it sent shivers down his spine.
The twins and Mama Mallette knew how protective Justin was when it came to people he cared about, the fights and arguments he had gotten into for protecting someone were a lot. But when it was also someone who crossed the line of friendship and family, Justin was really something you wanted to avoid.
And Heidi knew that, she was just so damn pissed.
She looked from Beck to Zayn. "I'm leaving, for now."
Zayn's lips remained in a thin line as he nodded respectfully in Heidi's direction, biting his tongue to avoid snapping at her again. He may have been the husband but she was the best friend. And even though Justin wasn't here right now, he had to respect her.
The silence returned when she was gone, Niall was still sleeping as he was up pretty late last night. He too was affected by the fact that his biggest idol could leave them at any second.
Zayn still didn't touch his food either, he just stared at it without appetite and spit pooled in his mouth. Not in the oh my god, so delicious way but in the oh shit, I'm going to puke way.
He got up from the table and mumbled something about fresh air, but really he just wanted to get away from the people here. He decided to go down to the garage, somewhere where he knew no one would come but where he felt closest to Justin. He raced down the stairs and grabbed the railing as he almost fell down because he saw the car.
The car they had had sex in less than a month ago. Suddenly he felt his stomach rebel and he immediately ran to the other side of the large garage where there was a trash can. He pressed his hand to his lips as he felt it coming up.
He choked everything up and his body started to fight back as he only dry heaved, spitting out a little stomach acid at most as he vomited everything out except his memories.
He wiped his mouth, his eyes burning as he imagined Justin opening the garage door, his favorite Ray Bans in hand. He could see Justin opening the door of his Lamborghini, teasingly putting on his sunglasses as he yelled at Zayn again about not being able to drive.
I fucking missed Zayn.
He missed him so much that he couldn't help but grab one of the car keys from the board and then walk over to the Range Rover, clutching the metal tightly in his hands. He pressed the button, unlocking the car, and climbed into the back seat.
Little fragments of memories flashed through his mind from the night in that car, and he couldn't help but laugh slightly as he remembered looking for condoms in the glove compartment and getting a cheeky smack on the butt. Zayn couldn't believe how time had flown by so quickly, how everything still seemed perfect. They had absolutely no problems except for their little squabbles and even those Zayn enjoyed.
Zayn put his hands on the leather seat, ran his fingertips over the seams and remembered exactly how Justin sat there while he rode him. Zayn's heart was pounding against his ribs and his eyes were closed as he sank completely into the incredible, erotic memories. His lips twitched in a small, gentle grin, the warm tears ran down his cheeks and dripped onto his thighs as he sat there and did nothing but remember.
Buzz buzz buzz buzz
buzz buzz buzz
Zayn was torn from his emotional trance, brought back to reality. He reached into his pocket and looked for his cell phone. He didn't recognize the number and his heart raced as he pressed the answer button and put his ear to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Hello, is this Zayn Malik-Bieber, husband of Mr. Justin Bieber?" asked a rather nice, sweet female voice.
"Yes, are you calling from the UCLA Medical Center?"
"Yes, I'm Nurse Melinda, the head nurse here, and I just wanted to let you know that visitors are now welcome," she informed him.
"Oh my god, thank you, thank you, thank you." Zayn sighed in relief, that meant Justin was alive. The tears continued to fall, tears of joy and relief.
"Should we be expecting visitors in the next hour?" she asked, her lip twitching as she could hear the boy appearing to run up the stairs.
"Oh god, yes," Zayn managed to say as he raced into the kitchen, pointing to the phone. Everyone stood as Zayn waited for the nurse's answer.
"All right, but I warn you, don't bring too many people, only two people are allowed in the room, one when a nurse is present." she said.
Zayn didn't care, he would be the first in this room, even if it killed him.
"I understand, thank you Nurse Melinda." He breathed a sigh of relief as he wiped away the tears that kept coming.
"What's wrong?" Mama Mallette asked Zayn, the boy was still drying his tears and putting his phone in his back pocket.
Zayn looked at everyone, unable to hold back the tears and the slight giggle, he was so dizzy with relief.
"Wake up Niall, we can visit Justin."

-*-

They rushed through the entrance of the hospital, running towards the counter, as they all knew that they would need wristbands to visit the hospital. There was no mention of the intensive care unit.
"Hello, can I help you?" asked the man at the counter as the security guard looked at us cautiously.
"Yes, we are here to see my son in the intensive care unit," said Pattie, as she was the smallest of the group she looked like a mother of a huge family.
The man nodded and pulled out bracelets from under the table. "Wrists please," he ordered as he counted the bracelets and looked at everyone expectantly.
Everyone did as he was told. "Do you know the rules?" he asked.
"Only two people in a room, one when a nurse is present," Zayn replied as the blue band was wrapped around his wrist, giving him access to the ward.
The man nodded. "Do you know why that is?"
Nobody could answer this question and when the employee had wrapped the last bracelet around Niall's wrist, he said, "The reason is contamination, the patients are physically and medically vulnerable and they could become infected very quickly, even if it is just a common cold, and then die from it. Besides, space is limited, there are usually two other patients in the room and too many people would get in the way of the nurses. The nurses have the say, if they told them to leave, I would advise him to do so and leave."
Everyone nodded, taking his instructions seriously. "All right, the ICU is on the sixth floor. You can't miss it."
And then they were gone, they rushed towards the elevator, Zayn was the first and pressed the button with the arrow pointing up. They all waited nervously for the elevator, shuffling their feet. When the doors opened they rushed in, not caring about the insulted people who were pushed out of the way. When the doors closed behind them, the elevator slowly started moving, much too slowly for their liking.
The elevator bell rang and Zayn was the first in the hallway, Mama Mallette and Heidi followed right behind him. The other three boys were tense but not nearly as tense as the three in front of them.
When Zayn reached the end of the hallway, they were lucky that they came across a nurse who was just finishing work. Otherwise they would have had to ring for someone to open the door for them and so they could ask the nurse directly.
"Whoa okay, we definitely can't all go in at once," she said when she saw the six people. "Spouses and parents are usually allowed in first," she told them as she opened the door for them.
Zayn and Pattie exchanged a look, understanding that they both had the same legal right to see Justin first.
"We're here to see my son, his husband. The others will wait outside, we'll take turns," Mama Mallette assured the nurse.
The nurse nodded with a small smile. "All right, I'll let you in. Sanitize your hands when you go in and out. Be super quiet, don't disturb the other patients, don't get in the way of the nurses and if they ask you to leave, then leave the room. Otherwise they could take away your right to visit him or reduce their times."
Zayn and Mama Mallette nodded, neither of them were particularly boisterous or quick-tempered, so they wouldn't be a problem unlike Heidi, she lost her temper quite often.
The nurse opened the doors for them by typing in a code and when they heard the click of the lock, she waved to them that they could go in.
The atmosphere in the intensive care unit was not like in the other rooms, where families and friends visited their loved ones, televisions were on and there was even a bit of laughter. No, really not, the intensive care unit was quiet, almost painfully quiet. All you could hear were the countless buzzing monitors, the quiet footsteps of the nurses and of course the sniffling and sobbing.
The silence was present, almost so thick you could touch it, you felt like you were walking on eggshells. Every breath sounded like thunder and you had to tread very lightly and quietly. You can't really speak unless it's to one of the doctors or nurses, and even then you only whisper.
Zayn looked into the rooms they passed, his heart pounding as he saw the many people with bandages around their chests, wrists or necks, their loved ones clutching their hands with tears on their cheeks as they struggled to eat. Every now and then you heard a soft moan of pain, or a request for more painkillers.
The nurses' faces were expressionless, they cared for the people who were balancing between life and death. They were with the people who were only a small distance from death the whole time, they could almost see the light that the patients would eventually walk into.
The intensive care unit has never been a peaceful place, you never really wanted to be here, here you are surrounded by pain, depression, torment and above all death.
Zayn looked at the nurse as he left the room. "Are you here for Mr. Bieber?" she whispered.
They both nodded, not wanting to speak for fear of being silenced for being too loud or something.
"He's here," she said and walked past them, her shoulder brushing Zayn's, which sent a shiver down his spine.
Zayn made a move to go through the door into the dark little room, but as he took the first step over the threshold, his heart sank at what he saw.
There was a window, but the curtains were drawn, blocking the sun from shining through, a regular beeping came from the heart monitor and a fan hung gently rotating from the ceiling.
Zayn was completely speechless, his eyes wide and burning as he looked at his husband. Justin's head was half bandaged, what was visible was covered in bruises and scratches. The hospital gown was open at the top and you could see the bandages wrapped around the torso he loved to touch so much. His foot was raised in a sling, the snow-white bandage around his injured ankle. His hands were also wrapped in white bandages, covering the stitches caused by the broken glass.
A breathing mask was over his mouth and nose and there were so many damn wires leading from his body to the machine. You could hardly see anything of Justin, he was totally wrapped up in the hospital equipment.
"Ah, you're here, Mr. Bieber." a woman came in, she was wearing a white coat and a blue shirt underneath.
"Is he awake or will he wake up?" asked Mama Mallette, her eyes already filled with tears and her throat burning, causing only a croak to come out.
The doctor cleared her throat, her eyes lowered because she couldn't withstand the pleading eyes. However, she had to be completely honest with the family members.
"No, but that's only because we had to put him in an induced coma."