Because

Chapter Sixteen

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"Don't fake a smile when you want to cry"

Hye-jin left the library behind her and walked back to her off-campus apartment in a daze. Her thoughts were racing, her heart was pounding in her chest. Felix—Phoenix_9—Felix was Phoenix_9. It was as if everything she thought she knew had been turned upside down. How had she not seen it? All the hints he had dropped, the way he had always seemed to understand her... it all made sense now. But the weight of that realization was suffocating, and she felt like the walls were closing in on her. By the time she reached her apartment, her breathing was shallow, and she could feel the edges of panic starting to creep in. Her hands trembled as she unlocked the door, and the moment she was inside, she leaned against the wall, sliding down to the floor. She tried to steady her breathing, but it felt like her chest was tightening, and she couldn't get enough air. The room started to spin, and she knew she was on the brink of a panic attack.In her distress, she fumbled for her phone and quickly dialed her brother Ji-hoon's number. He picked up after the second ring, his voice warm and familiar.

"Hey, Hye-jin, what's up?"

She tried to speak, but the words caught in her throat. All she could manage was a shaky breath.

"Hye-jin?" Ji-hoon's voice was suddenly filled with concern. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I... I need to talk to you," she whispered, her voice trembling. "Can you come over? Please?"

"I'm on my way," Ji-hoon said without hesitation. "I'll be there in ten minutes. Just hang in there, okay?"

She nodded, even though he couldn't see her, and ended the call. She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as she tried to calm herself. But the thoughts kept swirling in her mind, each one more overwhelming than the last. How was she supposed to face Felix now? How was she supposed to sort out the mess of emotions that had taken over her heart? Ten minutes felt like an eternity, but eventually, there was a knock on her door. Hye-jin forced herself to her feet and opened it to find Ji-hoon standing there, his expression filled with worry.

"Hye-jin, what happened?" he asked as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head, unable to hold back the tears that welled up in her eyes. "I don't know, oppa. I don't know what to do..."

Ji-hoon immediately pulled her into a comforting hug, letting her cry against his shoulder. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm here. Just take your time and tell me what happened."

After a few minutes, Hye-jin pulled back, wiping her eyes. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "Oppa, you have to promise me something. You can't tell anyone about what I'm going to say. Not even a hint, okay?"

Ji-hoon looked at her, his concern deepening. "Of course. You know you can trust me."

She nodded, taking another shaky breath before she began to explain everything. She told him about Phoenix_9, how they had met online, and how their friendship had grown over the months. She described how much he had meant to her, how she had started to fall for him without even knowing what he looked like. And then, she told Ji-hoon about today—how Felix had revealed himself to be Phoenix_9, and how it had completely shaken her. Ji-hoon listened without interrupting, his expression unreadable as he processed everything. When Hye-jin finished, she looked at him anxiously, waiting for his reaction.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Wow, Hye-jin... that's a lot to take in. I can see why you're so overwhelmed."

"What am I supposed to do, oppa?" she asked, her voice cracking. "I don't know how to deal with this. He's Felix. He's a freaking idol! And he's Phoenix—my Phoenix. How do I even begin to process that?"