Marauders

I, Dickhead

"No fucking way," Jones boomed, "something that powerful should not be ours,"

"You misunderstand me, Mr Blakk," Nash sighed, "it does not matter whether you're in or not, the whole reason I saved you from death was to give you another chance, and that's what I'm going to do,"

He grabbed a Tim Tam as he walked from the room, leaving the 'greatest hero in the multiverse' alone with a heavily frustrated Jones. Every time Reigen opened his mouth to speak, he recalled the intense glare that Jones was producing, and thought it better to stay silent. The awkward silence stretched on, assisted by the ticking of an unseen grandfather clock and the slight hum of the generator that powered the television. Then, suddenly, the clock began to chime, signifying that an hour milestone,

"I'm sorry for offending you, sir," Reigen stuttered, gulping audibly as Jones looked at him,

"Don't sweat it," 

"You just seem so angry at me,"

"I'm more pissed at that other guy. He's the dickhead here,"

As if summoned by Jones' comment, Nash Rightward stepped back through the door, something held in his right hand. Jones did not question it as Nash sat down, a fresh cup of tea steaming as he grabbed a Tim Tam, dipping it for seven seconds before removing it, biting in to the chocolatey goodness,

"Seven seconds," Nash explained, "seven seconds is the perfect amount of time to dip a Tim Tam in a tea,"

"That, my friend, is too damn far!" Reigen announced, "that it way too long, you're not going to have any crunch left!"

"The whole point of dipping is to remove the crunch, enhance the flavour and keep your biscuit intact," Nash replied, "I don't wish to fight over something trivial, but this is an important part of life,"

"Can you two shut the fuck up!" Jones bellowed, frustration dripping from his voice like venom, "you kidnapped me and planned some sort of multiversal heist, and now you're arguing about fucking Tim Tams! How can people be so idiotic?"

"When you're as crazy as I am," Nash replied, "you are in very few instances, serious,"

"Fucking hell," Jones sighed resignedly, "are we gonna do this as a team of three, or are we gonna get anybody normal?"

"We have a plan for the remaining two," Nash stated, but did not elaborate,

"Care to elaborate," 

"Shit," Nash responded, "I've got no idea. Reigen has the plans,"

"I have made the best, most foolproof, grandest plan in all of history!" The man proclaimed, his winning smile back on his face, making Jones consider punching him again, "the plan is simple. Sneak in, bring in backup from other universes, sneak out with the machine because of their help,"

"So where's the actual plan?" Jones asked,

Field hesitated, 

"That... was the plan?"

"Who do you intend on bringing in for backup?"

"Glad you asked!" Field exclaimed, returning to his bravado, "we have a few options, but I think we need some sort of healer. And of course, the most important member of our team... Pooh,"

"Are you talking about some kind of sentient shit?" Jones inquired,

"Not poo, Pooh!" Field explained, "Winnie the Pooh,"

"There is no way you guys are real!" Jones roared, "a children's book character? There's no way he's even real,"

"Anything can happen in the grand scale of the multiverse,"