𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞 || 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐤𝐬𝐨𝐨

Chapter Thirty seven

Seokmin awoke with a groan, his head throbbing and his body weighed down. His eyes fluttered open, and the blurry surroundings slowly sharpened into the familiar sight of the master bedroom. Panic surged through him as he realized he was naked, a heavy arm draped over his chest. His heart raced, and he turned his head to see Joshua lying beside him, eyes closed, the picture of serene peace.

Disgust and guilt twisted inside Seokmin, nausea threatening to overwhelm him. Memories of his wife flooded his mind: her gentle smile, her laughter, the promises they had shared. He had vowed to stay faithful, even after her passing. Tears slipped from his eyes, burning trails down his cheeks.

Joshua stirred, awoken by the sound of Seokmin's sobs. His eyes, glossy with concern, met Seokmin’s. Without a word, he reached out and wiped the tears away with a tenderness that seemed out of place for a man of his nature.

"Don't cry, baby," Joshua whispered, his voice husky with emotion. "It hurts me to see you like this."

Seokmin's chest tightened, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps. "Why?" he choked out, the words strangled with pain. "What are you doing to me? Why do I feel like this?"

Joshua's expression softened, a flicker of sadness passing over his face. "I want you, Seokmin," he said quietly. "You're mine. I need you."

Seokmin’s eyes widened in shock and disbelief. "Why me? Why do you need a widow for?" he demanded, his voice breaking.

Joshua placed a finger on Seokmin’s lips, silencing him. "I don’t know," he confessed, his voice barely audible. "But my heart and mind only yearn for you. Your every word, every look, pierces me. They make me feel like the most powerful person in the world. Every single touch makes me yearn for more. Why can't I have feelings? Am I not enough for you?"

Seokmin wanted to argue, to lash out, but Joshua’s words, so raw and filled with longing, left him speechless. Joshua gently guided Seokmin's head to rest against his chest, his fingers threading through Seokmin’s hair in soothing strokes.

"Let me talk," Joshua said softly. "I listen to you every time. Everyone deserves love. They say that, don't they? I’ve heard it enough times. You call me a monster, but don’t I deserve love too? Don’t I deserve someone who waits for me? Don’t I need someone too?"

Seokmin swallowed, his throat tight. "But... you use others for your own gain," he managed to say, his voice weak.

Joshua’s hand stilled in Seokmin's hair. "I’m doing what the law should do," he said bitterly. "You’re thinking about all those trafficking rings, right? All the people involved in them—rapists, murderers who have taken pleasure in torturing others. The law just turns a blind eye. They see the blood and suffering but do nothing. We catch them, turn them into perfect little slaves, and sell them. They deserve the karma they get. The law? It only cares about the rich. Nothing else. We took this job because we can protect our place properly. All those monsters who…"

Joshua’s voice faltered, his emotions seeping into the silence. "They’ll get a taste of their own medicine," he muttered, more to himself than to Seokmin.

Seokmin listened, his heart pounding with the weight of Joshua’s words. He had always thought of Joshua as a monster, a psychopath, but now he wasn’t so sure. There was a strange logic in Joshua's madness, a sense of justice twisted by bitterness and pain. Seokmin found himself wondering if Joshua was misunderstood, a product of the same broken world he sought to punish.

Joshua cradled Seokmin’s head on his chest, his touch gentle, almost reverent. "You loved your wife so much," Joshua said softly. "I never said anything about it. If I were a monster, wouldn’t I have made you forget about her? But I don’t want that. I want to be close to you. To be with the real you. I want to see your highs and lows. Even if you showed me a bit of your smile, I would be happy. I would construct holy places for you, Seokmin. Just don’t leave me. This emptiness… it’s unbearable when you’re not with me."

Seokmin’s heart stuttered, Joshua’s confession slicing through his defenses. He pulled away, standing up on shaky legs. He couldn’t bear this confusion, this betrayal of his own emotions. He grabbed his clothes, dressing hurriedly, his back to Joshua.

Joshua watched him, pain etched into his features. "Am I that unlovable?" he whispered, more to himself than to Seokmin.

Seokmin didn’t answer. He couldn’t. He opened the door and stepped out into the corridor, his heart a storm of conflicting feelings, the echoes of Joshua’s words following him into the silence of the mansion.

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I wanted to show how bad our government is through this story where we need our own people to protect us rather than the so called "leaders" who turn on a blind eye.