Me And Y8

3-Hurt

"I want to be the friend you hopelessly fall in love with"-Book

"From hatred to love, from enemies to lovers." -Quote

"Baby, I got issues but I love myself"-Song

Another fucking day of school. I know I'm gonna be left out some-fucking-where today. Feeling left-out is in the air.

The first face I'm blessed with seeing today is Ava's. What a sight! I am so going to shit-talk about her love life with Aria. Like, she and her boyfriend broke up like fifteen times. Her boyfriend also looks like a mole rat without glasses, what the fuck?

"Hey, Siyana. What up?" She acknowledges me. What the fuck is "what up?" 

"Hey, Ava. Nothing, was just thinking about your amazing seating plan in History and form. Have fun. I'd totally recommend and have fun sitting in your spot!" I say, sarcastically. Sarcastically, but not even a bit sarcastic.

Contrast. Like, my feelings towards Malik.

"Elaborate, Siyana. What's so bad, huh?" She teases me.

"Well, sitting next to Malik is an absolute delight! I would definitely not pass the option to sit with him at all costs!" I retaliate.

"Duh? Everyone knows that you'd sit with Malik if asked to without a moment of hesitation. He just has a special place, reserved for him, engraved in your heart!" She jokes.

"What? I was jus-" I get cut off.

"Love is in the air. No one can love Malik more than Siyana." She "preaches". 

"The fu-"

"I can just see you and Malik, with three genius, athletic, artsy, musical, perfect children in twenty years time!" She continues

"Ava, what kind of scenarios are these?" I question. Seriously offended. I want only one child, can't give birth to those many.

"With a cat and two pet rabbits. Maybe, a turtle too. The best lawyer is the country with the best architect, ever. I can just visualise it." She rambles on.

"I hate animals!" I speak, annoyedly.

"Malik's gonna make you like them for two reasons - one being that he loves animals and the other that he's probably a beast in bed. He won't hold back on his academic rival after all." She taunts, fucking embarrassing me.

"How do you know that he's, you know good in- uhh-bed?" I curiously wonder.

"Christian, my boyfriend told me that the way certain boys act can determine how they are in bed. I asked him to notice Malik in the last week of last year, for your sake. And he said that Malik's gonna be a fucking beast." She answers.

"Damn."

"Someone's flustered in us both and it's not me, Siyana. Falling in love?" She asks, loud as fuck.

"Fuck yeah, he has his name, especially last name because it's gonna be hers, engraved in her heart. While, Malik is down bad for her. Love is in the air." Zayn chirps into our delightful conversation. 

"Fuck off, fatty midget. Bet you're still stuck on 141 centimetres." I ridicule him.

"Whatever the fuck. Siyana and Malik- the devil's coming." Zayn says.

"Hey." Guess who it is? Mr. Spawn of Satan who's ridiculously perfect.

*time skip*

"Okay, so now go into groups of four." The teacher drawls out, making me snap into reality. I go over to Ava, Evelyn and Leah but they what the fuck? 

My face drops. They're with this Emirati girl, who's Hazza's cousin. Ava, Evelyn, Leah and Aya. I thought it was fucking in groups of four and I-. 

"Siyana, get the fuck away. We're already in a group of four." Ava calls out, making me want to cry as Aya sheepishly grins.

"There's a spot on Mia's table..?" Leah apologetically mutters.

"Oh. Okay." I say, my head hanging low,

"Siyanaaaaaaa." Tyke fucking annoys me.

"I'm going over to Mia's table, chill out." I answer back.

"Someone feels left out, huh?" Damien pushes it further. Like rubbing salt into the wound is going to make it any better.

"Shut the fuck up." I snap.

"Malik's girl seems a bit feisty today, isn't that right Malik?" A dude asks.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up. I ain't his property." I yell, my anger getting the better of me.

I didn't like losing control.

I don't like losing control in front of Malik. 

"Shush, Aiden." Malik finally says something. I hate it here. His gaze softens as he looks at me, yet making another snarky comment.

"Alone-ass loser." He mutters.

Ouch.

My heart sinks into my stomach as my gaze shifts to anything but Malik. His words hurt the most.

"I could never want to sit on a table but then be forcefully moved to another one because I'm a loner." He pushes in further, what's he trying to do?

"Siyana, you okay?" Asher asks. 

Thanks, Asher. At least he's being a normal human being.

"Yeah, duh? I'ma tell u a secret - I can't see from back there so I was gonna move anyways and then it's gonna be a waste of space and shit." I lightheartedly continue.

But it hurts, it feels like a bus has run over my heart. The one driving the bus is the one who had invaded my heart, without my consent. The one who has the key to my heart's lock. The irony of it has my blood boiling.

But I continue my life. It's because they're not worth it. At the end of the day, I only have myself and am lucky to have this understanding at twelve.

*time skip*

Another fucking day, why do we have science after break? Blah, blah, blah, health and safety, blah, blah, lab rules, blah, blah, get into groups, bla-. 

We have to get into groups of how many ever we want. Ava points to me, Leah, Evelyn and Aya. We all follow along, I don't want to but I feel forced to.

"Boop, hey Siyana." Emilie taps my nose.

"Hey, frenchie." I retaliate.

"Ew, look at all the weird Indian kids sitting together." Ava rambles on.

"Excuse me?" I ask, in an offended manner.

"You're sitting with us so you're not weird." Ava tells me.

I turn around but still zone in their conversation.

"But she is fucking weird." Emilie says to Ava.

"I know right!" Ava whispers back.

That fucking hurts.

Can they stop talking shit behind my back? 

But as they say, they're behind me for a reason.