On the Road with Jersey Line: The confessions of a Wardrobe Assistant

Broken in Boston

After the band took the stage, it was time for a breather before the next costume change.   Who knew that 5 grown men could be such big babies!   Alpha Males, territorial by nature, trying to intimidate Sheila and me backstage.   Chaos ensued.   Ronny of course was overly protective of me, and Joey knew how I liked to work.  But Jimmy, trying to be the badass was the first to start trouble.  

"Liza, I need my Stetson ready for the third song."   I looked at Ronny in confusion.   That was Ronny's big solo moment on Wild Hearts, and he had worn his Stetson for that song since the beginning of the band.    Ronny rolled his eyes and came to stand by me.  "No Jimmy, I said.  According to my notes, you get your hat 5 songs later.   Wild Hearts is Ronny's big song."  

I looked over at Joey for help, but he was preoccupied at the mirror, tying a black bandanna with skulls into his hair.    Jimmy raised his voice, and Ronny stopped him before he could get a word out.  "This is how it has been since the beginning of time, Jimmy.  I wear the only hat for that song."  Jimmy stomped off, mumbling under his breath.   I gave Ronny a quick kiss and headed to the elevator to meet Jimmy Backstage.   Ronny and Joey were shooting up onto the stage from the risers below.  I knew Jimmy was unhappy about that as well.  He was obviously gunning for Ronny's job, and Joey wasn't doing much to dispel the drama from happening.   It was going to be a long tour. 

I stood backstage with Ronny's Stetson on hand while they ended the second song.   Ronny strode over, grabbed the hat, gave me a nod and waving his hand to the fans, walked back upstage to start Wild Hearts.  The crowd began screaming, as Ronny expertly laid out the opening riff.    Then right at the start  of the solo, Ronny moved center stage next to Joey, guitar blazing, his Stetson glistening under the lights.  Smoke rose from either side of the stage and his image broadcast from every screen in the Arena.  Then without warning, Jimmy walks up behind Ronny and Joey, brings his elbow up and "accidentally" knocks Ronny's hat to the ground.   Joey gives him a dirty look and shoves him back away from Ronny, who is still blazing off the solo.   He finishes with a grin to the crowd, bends down, grabs his hat, tips it to the crowd and strolls back to his spot onstage.  

I could tell by the set of his jaw that he wasn't happy.   I felt he saved the moment, and soon they were playing the intro to the next song, which started off with a keyboard solo by Dick West.   Joey grabbed Jimmy by the arm and led him back into my area.   "What the fuck, Jimmy! Don't make me regret this!"  Jimmy shrugged, then went to switch guitars before joining the band back onstage. 

Tensions were high each time one of them came backstage to change a jacket.   When Jimmy went out with his Stetson on during Roundabout, he seemed annoyed that the crowd didn't react to him as they did for Ronny.   But I was not prepared for what happened next.  He tossed me the hat, knocking Ronny's off the table.  He then walked over and stomped on it, flattening it to the brim.   "This is ridiculous!" I said to Sheila on the headset.  "I need backup!"  I asked on the walkie, waiting for another assistant to come take my place.   I took both Stetsons and ran back down into the Green Room,   I plugged in the steamer, hoping I could get Ronny's hat back in shape.  If not, I was going to steam our Jimmy's hat to replace it, and force Jimmy to wear the smashed one.  

Angry tears filled my eyes and distorted my vision.   Jimmy was an ass!  His jealousy of Ronny was raging out of control.   He was trying any means possible to make Ronny look bad.   I highly suspected he was the "leak" to the press and the saboteur who messed with our airport transportation.   I couldn't understand what Joey was thinking, but he seemed to be having issues with Ronny himself, as his fan base grew after each successful solo record.    After several passes with the steamer, it seemed as if Ronny's Stetson was not going to spring back into shape.  So I re-sized Jimmy's and sculpted the brim to match Ronny's signature crease.  I threw the other hat onto the table, unplugged the steamer and returned to the stage.   The harried assistant took one look at me, gave a sigh of relief and left me alone to deal with the backstage drama. 

Ronny looked over at me with a smile.  I rolled my eyes and pointed to the hat in my hand and mouthed "Jimmy".  

The next song coming up was Tuxedo.  I had Jimmy's distressed Tuxedo jacket and bow tie ready, as well as his twisted top hat.  

"What happened?" He asked, "where were you?"  I told him about his hat, and saw the anger flash in his eyes.   Before he could respond, he was back onstage, tearing into the opening riff of Tuxedo.  Only Dick and Tony remained onstage with Ronny.  Joey and Jimmy went further offstage, and I could hear angry whispers being exchanged between them.  As the song came to an end, only Joey returned.   Jimmy did not make another appearance until the encore.  He took the stage a little less arrogant, avoiding both Joey and Ronny when the band took their final bows. 

Once we all returned into the green room, Jimmy, who was walking in front of Ronny and Joey, turned to say something, and was cold cocked by Ronny right in the jaw.  He went sprawling.  We all moved out of harms way.   This was Jersey Line after all!   The only way they settled arguments in Jersey was flipping tables and bare fists.    After Jimmy got on his feet, he made a beeline for Ronny and Joey, but was stopped by Dick on one side and Tony on the other.   Joey spoke up.  "Jimmy, I like you, I think you bring something fresh to the band that has been missing of late, but never disrespect Ronny, Myself or any other member of this band ever again!"   He turned to walk off.  "You need to apologize to Liza," Ronny said and finished with
"You owe me a hat!"   After he walked away, Dick and Tony let Jimmy go.   He looked over at me and held out a hand.  "I'm sorry, Liza".  He said.   I just nodded my head at him, and started getting costumes ready for cleaning and repair.   One show down, 30 more to go of the Balls and Brawls tour.