Addicted z.m

Chapter 13

New chapter today, as promised!

Only half edited.

Sorry in advance for any errors or sentences that don't make sense

After a long battle with consciousness, I realised I wasn't going to win this fight. I rolled over, not surprised at all to see Zayn wide awake, staring at the ceiling with one hand behind his head and the other on his stomach.

"How long have you been up?" I asked.

He turned his head to look at me before giving me a certain look that I understood. He hadn't gotten any sleep.

"We could reschedule if you're not ready," I offered. "We could always do this another time."

He turned his head and attention back to the ceiling. "We both know I'll never be ready for this," he spoke.

I grabbed his hand and sighed. He squeezed onto mine real tight, showing me how scared he truly was, though his tone and blank face seemed to testify.

The quiet tension settled in as soon as he rolled off the bed without a single word. He walked into his toilet and closed the door behind him. As soon as the water started running, I allowed myself to sit up and sigh. My hand ran through my hair before reaching for my phone.

What? Are you living at Zayn's now? a text from Tiffany read.

Leaving town tomorrow morning. Wanna get together before then? Louis texted followed by a text from Myles with the same intention.

I sighed, texting them back. I'm sorry. I'd love to but I can't today.

Rolled out of bed and walked to the kitchen to find something to eat. I didn't even bother making anything for Zayn. I'm sure he won't be able to hold anything down for a while.

Twenty minutes later he entered the living room, which I had wandered to to stare at the screen without paying attention to a single detail of the show that was on.

His hair is still damp and a mess and I can tell he just slipped on the nearest t-shirt and black jeans.

"You can go shower," he said flatly.

I nodded, standing up from the couch. When I reach where he's standing, I place one hand on the back of his neck and bring his lips down to mine. I knew I wouldn't be getting any form of affection from him without enforcing it today - his mind was too far away to comprehend.

He kissed me back hard, as if he had just realised how much he needed this. His thumb rubs circles on my side underneath his t-shirt as I let him pull me closer. But I break away, dragging him into reality.

"It's gonna be okay," I promised. "I won't leave your side."

He kissed my forehead before pulling me to his chest. I held onto him for a few seconds then pulled away. I gave him a weak smile which he returned in a weaker fashion.

My heart ached to see him this way. It wasn't fair. He was finally happy and now this. Just when things couldn't get any higher, his plane plummets a few thousand feet.

*

I squeeze his hand after he parked the car. He stared at the steering wheel, his other hand laying limply in his lap.

"Hey," I attempt to pull his attention to me. He doesn't budge. I can't tell if he's listening or not. "Baby, look at me," I begged. "Zayn..."

His head slowly lifts as his eyes find mine.

"Zayn, I know you're nervous and scared," I whispered.

"I passed nervous and scared a long time ago," he spoke. "I'm bloody terrified." I could see the terror in his eyes.