Addicted z.m

Chapter 15

This chapter will seem very rushed but I didn't really have anything to fill in some blanks.

"I love this tie on you." Her hands travelled up my chest and tightened the blue patterned tie around my neck. My arms pulled her body to mine and she immediately began kissing my chin and jaw.

"I have to go to work babe," I smiled, no enforcement in my voice - just lust.

"No one says you have to," she whispered into my ear, kissing my neck.

I let her have her fun then pulled her away. "Okay Pez, I've really got to go," I ceased her ambitions.

She kissed my lips passionately before letting me walk out of the flat.

I hated doing this to Spencer. I truly did. I could see in her eyes every time I sent her away that she felt this was all her fault - that she did something to push me away. In reality, I was the one pushing - pushing with more effort than needed. If I just told her the truth...

And she still didn't stop trying to get through to me...until this week. Either she gave up, or she's giving me the space I don't deserve. She should be yelling at me and screaming and torturing me with those tears of hers that always seem to grab a hold of the guilt inside of me and make it ten times worse.

But instead, she's keeping her distance, waiting for me to come around...

"Good morning Zayn," Tracy greeted with a smile bigger than usual.

"Any messages?" I waved off her greeting.

"Just the usual from Ms. Horan," she announced too cheerfully. "She requests that you call her when you can."

I sighed.

"Would you like me to ignore her calls from now on?"

I shook my head. "From now on, direct her calls straight to my phone." With that I headed to my office and locked myself in there to drown in my own guilt.

It didn't take long for Spencer's first call to cone in. I let the phone ring, every ring slowly strangling me.

A couple of hours later, my guilt became unbearable. I picked up the phone and let her voice speak first.

"Zayn?" she asked in disbelief.

"Spencer," I answered.

"Oh my God, um...Hi," she mumbled.

"Hey."

"H-how've you been?" her voice was small and I could hear the tears she had been crying in her voice.

"Spencer-"

"Look, I've been bugging the hell out of you, I just...I want to talk. I need to know what I did."

"Baby, you didn't do anything." I rubbed my temple, kicking myself for leading her on with a single word. Force of habit.

I heard her sniffle and her breathing patterns became uneven. "Then what's going on?! Because I've been going crazy trying to figure out what went wrong!" She was becoming hysterical.

"Look, Spence, I'll stop by and we can talk a little later. I don't think we should do this over the phone."

She stayed silent for a moment then sighed. "Okay. I'm sorry for bothering you."

"You're not a bother, love," I promised. "Get some rest babe."

She hung up the phone and I found myself drowning in a three foot deep pool, not able to pull myself up. I'm an ass. I was hurting her and I could've easily helped her avoid this pain, but I was too selfish to admit it to myself that I was an idiot two timer.