Addicted z.m

Chapter 34

I felt it, not only in my dream. It was light and subtle, but it was real - a pair of lips gently brushing my cheekbone as my semi-concious state allowed light to filter through my eyelids.

I felt his sigh hit my cheek before he mumbled to himself, "Magnificent."

I listened to his footsteps depart from the bed and retreat to the bathroom. He began to hum quietly, shuffling around as he got ready for work. My eyes opened. I had gotten used to mornings like this - waking up with his scent enveloping me and his freshly sprayed cologne still lingering in the air.

I sat up, stretching my hands up to the ceiling, then let my feet touch the ground. I found him staring at himself in the mirror as he fixed his plain tie, flipping through this routine absent-mindedly. He caught my gaze in the mirror and smiled instantly.

"Did I wake you?" he asked.

He turned to face me and pulled me to him. "Would you be sorry if you had?"

"Hmm. . .Probably not," he smiled.

I laughed with him before kissing him, tangling my fingers in his hair. His hands snuck under my shirt, warm on my waist.

I found the first button of his shirt and unbuttoned it. I felt his laugh rumble in his chest as I went for the second button.

"Babe?" he mumbled.

"Hm?"

"Can you stop trying to undress me?"

I went for the fourth button when his hands trapped mine. "What?" I smirked.

"I have to go to work, love," he whined. "I've got five minutes."

"That's plenty of time," I pouted, fumbling past his hands and freeing that fourth button.

"I really have to go."

My other hand tugged on the waistband of his trousers, further expanding the bulge that had already been pressing against my waist.

"Your little friend down stairs says otherwise," I teased.

He swallowed hard, breaking eye contact with me.

My finger traced down the centre line in his chest and down his abdomen. "Just five minutes," I begged. "For me?"

He groaned in defeat, picking me up and setting me on the bathroom counter. "You drive me insane." His lips hovered above mine anxiously.

"Then it's a blessing your not in the mad house on account of me," I teased. He smashed his lips into mine, lifting up the dress shirt I wore and pulling down my underwear.

I couldn't explain it - not at that moment in time. I couldn't understand why I craved him so bad in the last couple weeks. I wanted to take him every chance that I got. There were times I had to stop myself from asking because he just finished dinner, or it was time to leave, or perhaps we were at the cinema, or maybe we had just done it ten minutes ago. I didn't know why I wanted him so bad so often, but he never deprived me. I needed him, and he wanted me. It worked for now.

He concluded by kissing up my neck and all over my face before ending at my nose. He rested his head against mine and smiled. "Why do I let you do this to me?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I guess I just-" I froze. I felt the mush in the pit of my stomach churn as it pushed it's way up. "No," I begged, hopping off the counter and dropping myself in front of the toilet. I wretched into the bowl - I felt as though I had no control of my body. When I tried to stop, my stomach clenched against my attempt and shoved out more.

Zayn was at my side before I had even started. He held my hair back and rubbed my back patiently. When I had finally rid my body of all traces of last night's dinner, I sat myself against the wall and let Zayn wipe my face.

In silence he let me stand up to brush my teeth, scrubbing out the awful taste and smell in my mouth. I watched him wrap his arms around me in the mirror, before I leaned over to spit out my gargle.

He kissed my jaw. "I'm gonna call in sick," he whispered. "I'll stay here with you."

"No," I insisted, turning in his arms to face him. "You don't have to do that. I'll be fine."

"That didn't look like fine to me!" he raised his eyebrows.

What he didn't know was that that was the third time this week the toilet had woken me up to empty my stomach. I couldn't tell him. He'd want to take me to a doctor. Wednesday, I gave myself my own self diagnosis after puking for the second time this week - the stomach bug. It was that time of year, right? I didn't need a doctor to tell me otherwise, especially in front of Zayn.

"I'm okay," I promised. "Maybe the Chinese food I ate wasn't cooked all the way last night. It happens."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

I nodded. "You've taken care of me enough. I can handle a little food poisoning." I kissed the frown that set on his lips and smiled. "Now go. I said five minutes, didn't I?"

He smiled and kissed me once more for a long passionate moment before letting me go. "Call me if you need anything," he ordered.

"Sir, yes sir," I saluted.

He fixed his shirt and hurriedly straightened his tie before grabbing his keys and heading out the door. I was alone now, with my own reflection. I looked her in the eye, and though we both had the same facial expression, she seemed to be mocking me, scolding me even.

"This can't be happening," I whispered.

*

It took a pretty great amount of courage to walk out the front doors of the apartment building, but I did it. I hadn't been outside alone since the whole Justin incident. He was in some institution getting the anger management treatment he needed. I knew he wasn't out here. He couldn't be - not legally.

He also couldn't have laid his hands on me legally, but that didn't stop him, I thought. I shuddered at the thought that he could be around any corner, watching out for me, waiting for me.

But I did it. I made it to the drug store around the corner and back in one piece. I was panting by the time I closed the door behind me.

Once I collected myself emotionally, I made a beeline for the bathroom and locked myself in. I bought five, more because my anxiety had skyrocketed than for the accuracy. After using each one, I set the timer on my phone, sat on the counter, and waited. I wouldn't realise for another thirty weeks, but those would be the most monumental five minutes of my life - waiting for an alarm to go off.

The ringing echoed from my phone - I didn't even bother to turn it off. I picked up all five tests and stopped breathing.

I looked back up at my reflection and I couldn't tell if she was sadistically smiling, taunting me evermore, or truly frozen in the same emotional paralysis I found myself in. I wasn't in shock. I wasn't scared. I didn't feel angry nor any regret. The only thing that shocked me was how unsurprised I was to see those five little plus signs smiling at me.

. . .

Super short chapter, sorry.