Make You Feel My Love

So Good

Felix POV

I was pissed.

My legs were jostling as I sat, killing endless minions on the Tv screen, hoping it would ease the tension I felt in my gut. My fingers smashed the buttons, the controller not working fast enough to do what I wanted and mow down the enemies on the screen.

"Fuck!" I shouted as my avatar was killed, throwing the controller haphazardly to the ground.

The clatter of plastic against the wood floor was deafening, and I was clenching my jaw in undiluted fury. It wasn't the game I was angry about. Nor was it a relationship problem. Changbin and Hyunjin had been as amazing as always- their kisses and touches the only thing keeping me sane at present.

No.

It was the situation with Jeongin. The fact that he was victimized, and he'd felt all alone, like he couldn't come to anyone for help angered me. Like he couldn't come to me.

I wanted to... gah, I didn't know what I wanted to do to the piece of shit that hurt him, but I can say it was nothing good. And highly illegal. Chan liked to remind everyone how bad of a temper he could have.

Right. I huffed out a laugh.

Not that I was saying he didn't have a temper, but he wasn't the only one. Everyone saw me as cute, innocent... sweet little sunshine Lixxie.

They seemed to forget I had a reputation back home for beating the shit out of bullies who hurt the ones I had claimed as mine. Not mine in a romantic sense, exactly- just mine. I loved fiercely and once I decided someone was in need of being protected... cared for, nothing changed my mind.

Changbin was mine. There was nothing I wouldn't do for my husband. Hyunjin was as equally mine. Any of the guys would fall under mine to protect, as had been evident when Seungmin was fighting for freedom from Woojin. Any Innie- my sweet, beautiful, sassy-ass Innie. He was mine too.

I thought back to that night so many months before, rolling my neck and rubbing my face with my hands in an act of agitation. If Seungmin hadn't stopped me- intent to harm the abusive asshole himself in an act of vengeance, I would have, without a doubt- strangled him to death. I'd never much cared for Woojin- he was a bully and had enjoyed teasing me and Jeongin and Seungmin in particular. There was no love lost when he'd gone, and I never hid my feelings about it. 

But I knew it that night- when I'd felt the feeling deep in my core- the way my vision had gone pinpoint narrow and the only sound I'd heard had been the steady, eerily calm throbbing of my heartbeat. That night, I had been content to kill.

The fact terrified me after- that I could be capable of such violence, without even a hint of remorse, considering I did so well masking it to everyone around me. It had felt good- so good. Thankfully an errant bullet had done the job, protecting the last shred of my morals for the time being. 

What terrified me... angered me....

I was starting to feel that way again- a dark twisting anger filling me- bolstered me. 

Chan had opened up to me the night before when I'd gone to check on Jeongin. He'd been heartbroken- so furious with himself, purely misplaced blame.  He gave me what details he had about what exactly had happened that night. I'd been a pent-up ball of hate since, the feeling boiling low inside me, waiting for the time I could...do something about it.

I hadn't talked to my lovers about it. Hyunjin was gone- out of town doing a sponsorship appearance in Milan. The company car had picked him up a couple hours before, and Bin and I were a couple again for the next few days. Changbin had been his usual self, aside from the errant far off look in his eyes, followed by a nearly indiscernible tick in his jaw- the only sign that his outwardly teddy bear aesthetic was in danger of falling apart to reveal his anger as well.