Make You Feel My Love

Let's Fucking Go

Jeongin POV

I let my chin rest against my fist, my arm crooked on the arm of the leather sofa, watching him. The way his head bobbed and shook with the beat of the song pouring from his headphones- his face a mask of concentration, he was beautiful.

His hair was an inviting crop of fluffy curls, and the cloud of his deodorant and cologne in the small space of the recording studio was consuming me, making me want to breathe deep, fill myself with his scent, commit it to memory.

I loved him so much... this man who had promised me everything...including his entire fucking future...

Including a lover of my choosing.

It had been several days since he'd given me permission to pick one of our groupmates to add to our bedroom. I honestly had thought I'd hallucinated it- woken the next morning, convinced I was delusional. He hadn't mentioned it until that night at dinner, when he off handedly mentioned that Felix had great stamina.

I had flushed, my whole body like I'd dunk myself into ice water, unbelieving that he was offering... pros and cons about all our friends and what they might be able to provide me. It was all so...bizarre.

Now I could barely look at any of my friends without thinking about the way Hyunjin's hip thrusts at dance practice might... be... fun to explore. 

Or the way Jisung did that tongue thing...and even when Seungmin had teased Bin...taunting him until they were wrestling, Seungmin submitting easily, the way his eyes went glassy and calm as Binnie's arm closed around his neck in a chokehold- how that could be...no, I was to be topped, not the one topping in tis scenario.

Add to that the information that Chan had informed me most of them were open to the idea, Changbin and Minho aside- and that he was still working out who was really interested. I had a hard time believing that. There had never even been sexual tension between us... I mean... unless we're talking Lix and Ji that one time... that had been... eye opening to say the least. But honestly, were they just being polite? Some courtesy to let me try things out... a friendly test of sorts.

No. I knew them better than that. And while one or two appealed to me more than others, I still was not exactly ready to...move to the next step.

I sighed, heavier than I had hoped and Chan swung his head toward me with a look of concern in his eyes.

"Everything okay, Kit? He asked, letting the headphones hang around his neck, sound still pouring out from them.

"Yeah- just... thinking." I brushed him off, sipping my coffee.

"Am I ignoring you?" He worried. "You don't have to sit here and watch me... I... I can take a break." He offered, eyes going to the clock on the wall.

I shook my head. "No...it's not that baby." I assured him. I didn't always watch him work... but I had taken up the hobby since... memories had floated back- my tendency to be alone not as appealing to me as before. "I'm just killing time, being with you before I head out." I smiled softly "You're cute when you work."

I had rescheduled my mall day with Felix, Minnie and Ji and did not want to miss it.

"Just... I've got a lot to think about, I guess."

"You do." He agreed. "Any closer to deciding?" he prodded.

"Oppa! I squealed. "No- I can't just... pick one like a freaking pear at the grocery store!" I balked.