Tum Se

30

Writer POV
If only existing was a cake walk. If only you could erase all mistakes, all bad memories, all unwanted feelings. If only you could mend what's broken-all broken hearts, all broken souls, all broken relations, broken trust, broken friendships. If only you could heal all scars, all nightmares, all wounds. If only you could take back words. If only you could undo everything. If only you could feel better when you wake up the next morning.
Unfortunately all 'if onlys' are illusions and 'what ifs' are nightmares.
Shakespeare once wrote, 'All world's a stage and all men and women merely players;'
He rightly said that all of us are here to play the roles provided to us, all of us with our own agendas and missions. We were all merely puppets of God. Sometimes, we take ourselves aback by our own doings. Sometimes, we don't have any explanation of our own decisions and actions.
What Ana did was an impulsive reaction to Vihaan's insensitive action. You can't really blame her. All her life she was protected from the world by her family. She didn't have to face any trouble, and didn't have to ask for something for a second time if she liked it. Life was always a fairy tale for her, everything was so easy and dreamy for her. Alas! All fairy tales are just tales and not reality.
The girl who had only seen love and comfort all her life was finally left to deal all the harshness and reality of this world-a world so dark and loveless, a world so cold and heartless.
But this doesn't mean that she could hurt anyone and everyone. She had no right to hurt the family that treated her like a princess, again and again. She was lucky that they all had given her so many chances, that they had pushed back all the hurt, just for her.
As the sun rose from the horizon, lighting the whole world up, it failed to brighten the whole Rathore mansion because something was off with the youngsters, the elders only had a vague idea but they were confused having no idea about yesterday's events.
Nandini was in the kitchen, surprisingly doing absolutely nothing, because she was just leaning against the counter top and staring at the floor. She wanted to be alone for a moment and the only place she could find that satisfaction of being alone was the kitchen and hence, after finishing her work, she was just standing and staring into oblivion. She got startled when her phone rung showing a notification. Normally in a situation as such, she'd have ignored it but then it was her Bhai. How could she ignore him?
*Tell me something. How come you guys released a teaser and that too of 'Zindagi'?I mean that song was literally your heart put into words. I thought you guys were going to release all the songs together. That's what Abhiman told me.*
She sighed as she read his text but she was in no mood to type the whole story so hurriedly typed a short text for him.
*Long story. In short, it's just a remedial step to hide Ana's mistake. Will let you know the whole of it when you come back in the evening. See you soon.*
*Take care of you and my babydoll. I'll be there for you shortly.*
Nandini smiled and held her phone close to her heart. Her brother is an angel in disguise. He was that one person Nandini could challenge would stay on by her side until the end of time. She sighed and was about to walk out when she encountered that one person she didn't want to early in the morning. She tried stepping past but a hand stopped her.
"Angel please listen....."
Nandini: Don't Ana. Just don't. Please.
Nandini immediately refrained her from speaking further because honestly she was tired of Ana's shit.
Ana's: Angel, it was a hasty decision...I...
Nandini: Don't you dare call me that.
She snapped at Ana surprising her. If you thought that Nandini was overreacting or that she was venting out her frustration, then you are wrong because she was hurt, immensely hurt in fact. Nandini looked away, taking deep breaths to gain modulation to her voice but neither could she stop her tears nor could she gain control over her voice.
Nandini: You know Ana, only my mumma was allowed to call me angel because she was the one who gave me this name and after her it was only Navya, maa and you, not even Bhai or Abhiman. Do you know why?
Ana looked down as she sobbed holding the door frame but Nandini had enough. She walked towards her and held her shoulders firmly.
Nandini: Because you three are special for me. You three are the only ones who have kept my mumma's Nandini alive but what did you do? You kept breaking my already broken heart Ana.
She jerked her back and looked away to hide her helplessness from a person whom she couldn't trust anymore. Her anger subsided a little, just a little thinking about how Abhiman was, a day before.
Nandini: What you refer as a 'hasty decision' has broken your brother in pieces. Your 'hasty decision' has not only hurt him but also broke his trust in you forever. You know that for the first time in his life he was so scared of facing Ahana-his daughter that what would she thought about him seeing him so vulnerable.
Nandini closed her eyes that were now pricking and burning, to gain some control over herself. She yet again turned towards Ana, who was now a sobbing mess.
Nandini: I've always supported you, even during the times when nobody else did or wanted to but not anymore. I'm tired of defending you in front of everyone again and again and I've realized that I can't do this anymore. And you should know that it's not just because I promised to Abhiman but also because it's high time I become a good wife Ana. Many times I've chosen you over Abhiman but now I've to stand by my husband's side and support his decisions. The day he willingly forgives you would be the day I'd accept you back in my life but remember you've lost the right to call me Angel forever.
Nandini finally huffed out in frustration and anger but she didn't want to hurt Ana anymore than she already was so she decided to walk out but then something hit her mind. She stopped just beside a sobbing Ana, whose world was collapsing right in front of her eyes.
Nandini: Stop hurting the ones who genuinely love you over the temporary ones in your life Ana. You'd be left all alone.
With this being said she walked out, wiping her own tears with the back of her hand not wanting anyone to witness her crying but unfortunately there was already an audience to this show of emotions. Gayatri, Arman and Sakshi Rathore who were advancing towards the hall when they heard some voices emitting from the kitchen so they decided to check and unfortunately witnessed a heartbreaking scene in front of them. They were not only hurt to see Ana losing out on everybody who loves her, out of her irrational behaviour, but also to see Nandini broken; the girl who had kept their family bounded together happily was now herself torn apart.
Biji: We should keep this matter to ourselves. There's no need of confronting anyone.
Arman nodded but the mother in Sakshi was needless to say was worried for everyone but the most for Nandini.
Sakshi: Ana ko aisa nahi karna chahiye tha. She had broken Abhiman's heart indirectly breaking Nandini's as well. Pata nahi dono kaise sambhal rahe honge apne aap ko.
She voiced out her concern to them who in turn looked at each other. Biji sighed deeply and kept her hand on Sakshi's shoulder.
Biji: Tumne dekha na ki kaise Nandini Abhay ke liye khadi hui woh bhi Ana ke saamne jise woh apni beti ki tarah pyaar karti hai.
Sakshi nodded in agreement and was about to say something when Biji interrupted her with a solemn face.
Biji: Bas toh isi tarah they'll handle each other. Don't stress yourself unnecessarily. Humare bacche ab bade hogaye hain Sakshi. They know how to handle their decisions and consequences. They know when to involve us and when to not and we've to learn how to respect their choices and privacy. I hope you understand.
Sakshi immediately nodded at her, wiping her tears and together, all of them came to the dining area only to find everyone already assembled there.
Arman: Arey Abhi tum kab aaye?
Abhi: Bas abhi 5 minute pehle uncle.
Biji: Aditi, Vihaan aur Taani nahi aaye?
Abhi: Nahi biji woh dono Taani ko London ghumane le gaye.
Biji smiled and settled on her chair and found Abhiman sitting with a smiling Ahana in his lap with dozen emotions on his face, she couldn't decipher what exactly it was. Nandini noticed it too, it was something different, of course he was pained and hurt but his eyes had something darker in them-revenge, demand, mystery; and it was safe to say that she was afraid of the storm that his eyes were carrying.
She immediately held onto his bicep, running the pad of her thumb in a soothing motion and had her husband's attention, whose eyes were now holding warmth for her giving away that dark emotion making her exhale a sigh of relief.
Nandini: What happened? Are you ok?
Hearing her faint, sweet whisper, he could swear his heart skipped a beat or two, as he smiled and nodded at her who equally returned that smile and indulged in her breakfast. He knew that even if she herself was burning she'd run to tend his minor wounds, that's how selfless she was and he was lucky to have someone like her. He was no fool to take her for granted anymore.
Nandini: Abhay no!
Abhiman's body jolted a little hearing his wife's scream, in fact everyone was surprised by this sudden intrusion and so was Abhiman, who was going to serve himself some poha(cooked rice flakes) halted, looking at Nandini who was furious.
Nandini(snatching the plate from him): God, Abhay! Where are you lost? Can't you see a separate plate kept right in front of you? Abhi tum ya Ahana peanuts khalete toh kya hota? How can you be so careless? Tumhe pata bhi hai ki mai kitna darr gayi thi?
Abhiman: I'm sorry I was a little. . . lost. Aur waise bhi tum ho na mere liye. Hai na?
Nandini smiled through her tears and nodded her head at him.
Rudy: Guys I hope we've all the songs ready...
Fab5 took the cue and nodded sincerely at him.
Manik: We just have some finally touches left to do which would be done by today itself.
Rudy nodded at him and looked at Abhiman and Nandini.
Arman: I hope you guys remember that it's not just the album launch but your anniversary as well so please start deciding and arranging for the venue and other necessities.
Nandini smiled whileAbhiman nodded at him.
Abhiman: We've already listed out everything and I'll make arrangements today itself.
Navya: Arey but akele kyu? Hume bhi batao, we'll all help you.
Abhi: Haan kaam bhi jaldi ho jayega.
Abhiman: Don't worry guys. Let me remind you, if you've forgotten, that you still don't know about my surprise so for now relax all you want because you'll have to work a lot in the days to come.
Abhiman looked at them and smirked at them, while everyone else, except the elders, was left baffled.
Rudy: Yeh Kya bol rahe hai ap?. . . Ek minute, mom dad you guys are aware of his plans right? That's why you are all smiles..
Nandini gaped at that information and looked back and forth among her in laws who were now smiling at Abhiman.
Sakshi: And we are so proud of him.
Nandini looked at Abhiman only to find him smiling at her and she could swear the tinkle of the million butterflies in her stomach. She immediately looked down, breaking the eye contact because she didn't want to lose her sanity as of yet.
Navya: I can't wait now! I'm excited.
Ahana: Me too Masi.
Everyone smiled and glowed with happiness while Nandini couldn't help those jitters that ran down her spine as she mirrored Navya's excitement. She was ready to move on-by all means. Ready to let go everything that hurts. Ready to bury all those haunting memories in the deepest corner of her heart but before that she wanted to have that one conversation with Manik, just to let the burden on her chest go--one last conversation--for one last time. Her chest felt heavier than before and the saddest part was that she didn't want to feel this burden on her.
"I'm surprised to receive something and that too on this address.. How can it be possible?"
Nandini looked up only to find Manik examining a parcel, wrapped in a coarse, brown paper.
Sakshi: It must be a friend or colleague beta. Check the sender's details.
Manik: It has no details, not even a stamp on it Aunty.
Manik shook that box but couldn't decipher the contents of the box through the faint sound but someone else did-who immediately widened her eyes-Nandini. She exactly knew what it was and her head snapped towards Abhiman who was looking at Manik with hate-a strong word holding emotions so deep that they could merely kill anyone in this passion for revenge.
Manik's gaze fell on Nandini who had gone pale by now and he was immediately convinced that it was something related to their past; he realized that nothing could stop him from opening that package.
Manik: Um.. Excuse me everyone.
He gave a polite smile and casted Nandini a last glance before striding off from there, towards his room while Nandini kept looking in the direction where he walked. It was her plan and it was her instructions but she didn't want to execute it at this moment, not before the album launch. He'd be broken-just like she was, in fact still is because that broken part of hers could never be put back together ever again.
But the question was... What right did she have to stop Abhiman or Manik? She's Abhiman's wife and she always supports him in whatever he does but Manik? All he has ever done is to hurt her. Then why is it so difficult for her to hurt him?
Abhiman: Nandini I'll be gone to R-Labels for an hour or so, ok?
Her head snapped towards Abhiman, who was collecting his phone from the table. He looked up at her and gave her a smile so bright that she could swear it mirrored on her face as well. He kissed her head as she nodded and walked out. Nandini sighed and decided to rest for a while.
Manik was fighting with his own self on the other side.
He shook the parcel once more in a futile attempt of guessing the contents of it. He knew the contents would tear apart his soul but if he didn't open it then it might be possible that he'd miss out on their past once again. No, he couldn't risk that. Nobody bothered about him or his tears now.
Just as he was about to open the parcel, his friends barged inside, only to find him all distorted by the way his face was wrinkled with frowns of worry. They sat around Manik only to find him ripping apart the parcel.
As soon as the cardboard box opened, it revealed a letter and a CD. Manik frowned upon seeing it nevertheless opened the letter.
Long time no see, Malhotra! I thought you might come back to me for some evidence and answers, provided I know the biggest mystery of your life but seems like you aren't interested anymore. I kinda waited for you so long but I had enough of your nonsense now. Why should I be the only secret-bearer of your shit? So I decided to send you a little something for your delight. Have fun!
Your long lost but newly befriended,
R.
Manik took a harsh gasp as he read the letter but scoffed at the end. This is exactly what his life had become-a joke, a game & that anyone could play with it and laugh on it. He, with shaking hands, took the CD and inserted it in his laptop only to find a video file in it. He looked at Cabir only to find him looking at him assuringly. He needed this-an assurance of having someone by his side.
He hit the play button and was immediately rewarded with a black screen that had that filthy Rohan with his back turned to someone-a lady it seemed.
Rohit: What do you want Mrs M?
He asked with his hands inside his pocket. The lady 'Mrs M' walked closer to him as her heels clunk against the concrete floor.
Lady: I want you to blackmail Nandini about her past to convince Manik to marry Ana.
The voice seemed too familiar to the five aghast faces that now watched the interaction between Rohan and his Mrs M. They all recognised her but didn't want to believe it yet.
Rohan: And why do you think I would do this?
The lady turned him towards herself, giving him her sinister smirk.
Nyonika: The day Nandini lets Manik and Ana get married would mark the end of her marriage with Abhiman which implies that Nandini is all yours to keep.
Rohan: Why must you be so cruel to your own son, Mrs M?
Nyonika sat on a chair, crossing her legs and blowing on her nails.
Nyonika: It's not being cruel Rohan, it's called taking care of your business. Business is all about give and take. I provide Manik with everything one could ever desire and in return I only want to use my son according to my wishes and it's not like Raj isn't aware of it all, isn't it?
Rohan shrugged while Nyonika smirked.
Manik felt absolutely numb. His ears felt like someone was drumming a hammer against them while his heart suddenly felt heavier than before. His whole body was flaming. He couldn't feel his own senses at that moment. He lost the ability to think and process. All he could imagine was Nandini. Her laughter, her giggles, her sweet melodious voice, her twinkling eyes, the way she called him Jhalla, the way she caressed his hair, her warmth; everything.
Mukti looked at him with tears adorning her own eyes and kept her hand on his shoulders.
Mukti: Manik!
She cooed softly in order to appease him but he only jerked off her hand with his own limp wrist, surprising her.
Manik: I was about to raise my hand on my Nandini, Mukti. Just for that woman. My Nandini, Mukti. My Nandini! For. . . Her!
He murmured in disbelief as he fisted his knuckles, digging his nails in the flesh of his palm, as if punishing himself for even thinking of hitting Nandini for a woman so cunning like Nyonika.
Alya: Manik. . .
Manik: Leave!
He whispered as silently as the calm before the storm, even before Alya could complete her sentence.
Cabir: Manik at least lis. . .
Manik: I SAID LEAVE ALL OF YOU!
He suddenly roared as the urge to be alone with his memories rose. They got up and left, leaving Manik alone in his own misery. He was frustrated and betrayed by his own people, who claimed that they love him and understand him but if only they could see even a glimpse of his shattered heart.
He got up and pulled at his own hair, trying to rip them off his scalp but nothing helped. He was hopeless and helpless. He let out a painful bowl and punched the wall until it was painted with the taint of his blood. He liked this momentary pain-it distracted him and that's exactly what he wanted-distraction. He fisted his already wounded knuckles conflicting more pain on it.
Suddenly he felt a soft touch on his bloodied wrist that immediately had a healing effect on him, like an ice cools down the burnt. He looked up and found a concerned Nandini, with tears in her eyes as she carefully held his hand in hers, wincing everytime she touched the wound as if it pained her. This was his Nandini. Manik's Nandini.
Nandini: Oh Manik! What did you do to yourself? I can't believe you hurt yourself again. Haven't I told you a thousand times that it. . .
Manik: Pains you more than it pains me whenever I hurt myself out of rage.
Nandini: Then why Manik? Why?
She sobbed holding his hand and kept her head on his knee, making Manik release a sigh of peace and tighten his hold on Nandini.
Manik: Heal me Nandini. Please! I can't bear this pain anymore Nandini. Please bring me out of it. Be my Star once again, please.
Hearing his broken voice that indicated he was on verge of crying made Nandini look at him as tears ran down her cheeks. She held his cheek that made him lean on her hand, seeking for comfort and warmth, more if possible.
Nandini: I can't Manik. I can't.
Manik at once held her hand that was holding his cheek with both his hands.
Manik: Why Nandini?
His desperation was clear and evident and he made absolutely no attempt at all to hide it. After all, it was Nandini; his brightest Star twinkling in the darkest nights.
Nandini: Because I belong to someone else now. I'm no longer your Star, Manik and I've no rights to brighten your dark skies anymore. I can't do this now. I can't.
She tried to explain him as gently as possible but he was in a desperate need of getting that warmth from her. He pressed her hand more against his cheek, trying to absorb her as much as possible and squeezed his eyes shut, letting his tears fall.
Manik: What did I do to us Nandini? What did I do?
He could hear that sharp intake of breath which Nandini took so he opened his eyes linger on her, taking in her serene beauty.
Nandini: You let us break Manik. You let us down. You let us be separated. You let our destiny be torn apart from each other.
More tears leaked out of his eyes as he saw that disappointment in Nandini's eyes that held a million complaints for him. Nandini removed her hand from his cheeks which made him shiver at the sudden lack of warmth.
Nandini: And now, I've to go. Back to where you left me Manik. Back to Abhiman. My husband. Back to my daughter. Ahana.
Manik gasped as he whispered a no but Nandini got up and turned back after casting a last glance at him and before he could grasp her hand to pull her back to him, in his arms, she vanished like a golden shimmer in the air.
Manik looked around trying to find her but she was found nowhere. His room was cold as if it had no presence of a human living in it before but what did that warmth mean when he was with Nandini a while back? Would she never come back to him? Ever?
He sank on his knees as he felt guilt and regret creeping up to his heart through his veins and suddenly with every litre of blood pumped to his veins he could feel that multiplied guilt and regret flowing through his body, eating him up.
"NANDINIIIIII!!"
A painful howl of her name escaped his lips as he cried with the only person on his mind and heart-Nandini.
If only he knew hallucinations felt this peaceful, he was ready to hallucinate her his entire life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nandini was in her room pacing to and fro throughout the length of the room, trying to ease her worry. She was feeling restless and she had a vague idea that Manik needed her but she wanted him to suffer this hollowness alone just like she did. Call her a sadist but this was an undeniable truth. She wanted him know what real pain is and for that she knew he had to go through such a pain first.
She suddenly felt a pair of arms around her waist as her favourite minty breath hit her nostrils and the two weeks old stubble scratched her neck lightly as it nuzzled there. She leaned back wrapping her fingers around his on her stomach.
Nandini: When did you come back?
A raspy breath escaped her lips as she felt him sucking on her skin below her ear. He knew many such spots in her body that could send tingles down her spine.
Abhiman: Two minutes back.
He whispered in her ears in his gruff and husky voice. Nandini frowned and craned her neck towards him to have a look at him but he only nuzzled more in her neck, hiding behind her hair.
Nandini: But you said you'll be gone for an hour or something.
He sighed against her neck and tightened his hold on her.
Abhiman: Yes but I thought of surprising you and spending some time with you as I knew you'd be stressing the hell out of your brain with worry.
Nandini's body stiffened as the possibility of him getting hurt with her worry for Manik settled in her mind. Abhiman, on noticing her stiff posture, at once kissed her temple and caressed her stomach gently, making her relax.
Abhiman: Nandini, it's ok, I understand that you're worried about his reaction and its effects on the album but trust me, this had to be done as soon as possible because I wanted to end this Rohan chapter as soon as I can. It should be a one on one battle with no outsiders interrupting in between and now that we've that Rohan under our control, we can finally gain some momentum in it. Isn't it?
Nandini nodded at him as he moved one of his hand from her stomach to her neck, wrapping it gently around her, caging her in his arms completely.
Abhiman: You're stuck with me like this for the rest of our lives Mrs AR.
She smiled as she heard his husky voice whispering in her ears, so silently as if it were a secret meant just for them.
Nandini: A cage that I'd never like to escape Mr AR.
He grinned and nuzzled in her neck, tracing the outline of her belly button gently.
Nandini: Abhay!
Abhiman: Hmm. . .?
Nandini: I. . . I lo. . .
Before she could complete, she was spun around with her body entirely pressed with his and his index finger on her lips, halting her. Still dizzy with this proximity, she raised her curious glance to meet his darkened eyes.
Abhiman: Ssh. . .! I know what you want to say and trust me I want to say it too but I want to make it special for us. Every time we've confessed our feelings, We've done it in a wrong frame of mind and in haste. I want us to be completely immersed in our feelings, drowned in each others' eyes and be completely sane when we confess. Ok?
Nandini smiled softly but nodded at him before jumping on him and hiding herself in his neck, hugging him tightly. Finally her heart and mind, both were at peace.