Hello again (Tommy Lee Fanfiction)

Ch11Wish I could love you out loud/I need you

*****All warnings apply some smut not sure if anyone heard the song I need you by Tommy's side band

After a few hours I tried to call Tommy. His machine kept picking up at the house he still kept and on his cell his voice mail picked up. After awhile I looked at Nikki and sighed. I got up and put on my jacket. I knew by looking at Nikki he'd be out for quite awhile.

See if there's one thing I learned about Tommy and Nikki was if they were out parting for days on end, chances were once they passed out, it would be several hours or days they would stay that way. So, I drove over to Tommy's house and the gate to the entrance was closed. I sighed and got out of the car.

I rang the bell and 30 minutes later Tommy came down to the gate. "What do you want? You made your choice."

"I can't believe yer saying 'tis to me. Yer acting like a spoiled little rich..." I stopped seeing Pam walking out of the house. I glared at her getting really pissed off. I growled, "I see so you can get jealous over helping a friend and I find her here. You bastard." I spit in his face and got back in the car.

"Who was that?" I heard Pam say as she put her arms around Tommy and I floored it putting the car in reverse squealing the tires as I did a three sixty turning the car around. Thankfully I wasn't showing yet but I was so pissed off that when I got back home, I threw all of his stuff in the pound.

Which mostly were clothes and some CD's. I started hurting and sat down on the roof. I was up on the roof and I put my hand on my stomach. "Oh god please don't let me loose 'tis baby too."

I sat there taking deep breaths trying to stay calm. I watched the sun set hearing the phone ring off the hook. Nikki got up and came out onto the roof. He sat by me, "It's a beautiful view, isn't it?" I just sat there with my legs crossed Indian style. He looked around, "Where's T-bone?" I jumped up and went in getting mad again.

I went to the answering machine picking up a bat hearing Tommy say "Jasmine please pick up. I know your there. I overreacted. I'm sorry. You know Pam is the mother of my boys and..." I started smashing the answering machine.

"Uh yeah I'll show you overreacting you stuck up snob." After I smashed it into pieces I smashed the phone. I collapsed to the floor crying and hurting again. I covered my face and starting rocking back and forth.

As it got dark I got up and seen Nikki was passed out again on my bed. I got in bed curling up to him. I put my arm around him. "I take it T broke up with you?" He said softly and rolled on to his
back putting his arm around me as I rested my head on his chest and snuggled closer to him.

"You know I never wanted him to feel trapped with me and he swore after all the crap she put him through he wouldn't go back to her."

"Pam." I didn't say anything just sniffled. He sighed "You know sometimes you don't know what you got till it's gone. I have to say if he goes back to Pam, I wouldn't take him back when he comes crawling crying with a broken heart. Also I'd give anything to have someone like you as my girlfriend and the mother of my child."

I looked up at him. "How do you know and why?"

"Why would I say this to you?" I just looked at his green eyes. "Because you have a big heart and your open minded. You practically let Tommy do what he wanted. It doesn't bother you that
he flirts or has girlfriends all but Pam. Anyway I've had five kids now and four are mine biology but I think I know the signs. Let's see you've gained some weight, from what Decker tells me you've been getting sick a lot in the mornings and all of sudden your jealous seeing it with T. I think that about sums it up."

I rested my head on him again. We were quiet as he brushed my hair with his hand. "So what did you take?"

"Some coke and a little heroin. It all started when Sam challenged me. It was a slip and I'm paying for it big time. It was just something so small but once I start, I can't stop until I lose
everything and hurt everyone I really care about. I have a confession to make to you. Sometimes I wish I would have taken you on that date because you accept everything about me. You understand and never ask why if I have a setback. I could have saved you from Charlie."