Hello again (Tommy Lee Fanfiction)

Ch19 Our first real fight

********All warnings apply

I let everything build up inside of me just letting everything slid. With the Crue announcing they're reunion, Tommy was home less. The more I seen or heard about them on the news, the more pissed I got. After I had Pandora I started feeling down. Tommy got to spend one night with us after we got out of the hospital. It took me a few days to heal from the surgery.

Tony called Tommy telling him he had things to do for his new solo album. Tommy was trying to do too much all at once. He had ideas about Motley and his solo stuff. Interviews all over the place. Once he left the house I barely heard from him. Until one night Nikki called. I had been feeling isolated and depressed since I got home but I was trying to concentrate on the kids. "Jasmine its Nikki. I'm on my way back from London but I just got a call from Tony. He told me Tommy was at a book signing and someone whispered something in his ear and he just covered his face and started crying. I'm trying to get a hold of him do you have his new cell number?"

"Not on me." I said trying to rock Pandora to sleep in the living room.

"Hand on I think that's him on the other line." I heard a click and I had Pandora on my shoulder trying to burp her now and I heard a dial tone so I hung up. Later that night I felt someone get into the bed with me. I knew it was Tommy because I could smell his cologne. He just put his arm around me and I held his hand. I could hear him sniffling a bit.

"What 'appen?" I said rolling over on my back. He curled up to me putting his head on my chest.

"I don't want to talk about it right now." He said sort of crying. "Just hold me." So I did and when morning came, he was gone again. I turned on the news and heard about Dimebag getting shot and seen Tommy and Nikki. I seen how upset Tommy was and Nikki changed the subject to the Crue. I turned off the telly and sat there a bit ignoring the baby and the phone ring. On my birthday I laid in bed with Pandora and Aphrodite crying a little.

Half of me wanted to give up but as I laid there with my girls I couldn't take it anymore. So a few days after my birthday it was close to the beginning of October and I had Aphrodite in preschool
now. I took Pandora to a day care. I believe it was around September 28 or 29 so I knew it had been six weeks since I had Pandora. Tommy was all over the news announcing the reunion stuff along with his book, solo and the college show. When I had heard about him DJing at clubs as well in his spare time I flipped.

I really don't know why or what was wrong with me. Maybe it was November or October. To tell the truth I don't know. Since I passed out that one night I was really confused on things. I didn't know what was going on anymore and I was feeling isolated. I felt out of control and everytime I seen Tommy on TV talking about being single the more my world spun. He told me all this stuff before I got pregnant but seeing and hearing it just blew it out the window.

I drove out to the set they were going to be at filming 'If I die tomorrow.' I just wasn't myself and I had no idea what I was doing anymore. When I walked in, I was so mad that I was actually shacking.

I didn't see anyone, but Tommy and I just pushed him. I didn't even know what I was saying but I knew it sounded like a foreign language or babble. I think when I came in Tommy walked up to me asking me what I was doing there and then I pushed him knocking him into his drum kit.

He fell over on his butt taking the drums with him. I know I just flipped on him, but he tried to be calm grabbing my hands. "Jasmine calm down. I can't understand you. What's wrong with you?"

"You arrogant arse. I hate you. I hate you. I'm tired of you messing with me head and treating me like shit. I am not one of yer little arse kissing skanks. (Which is British slang for whore.) I am not a nobody and our girls are not nobodies. We will not be treated as such." But what really what happened was Nikki grabbed me from behind me holding me back and Vince held Tommy back because we were screaming curses at each other and threatening one another. I did say something like that.

"You bitch I given you everything. You're a spoiled stuck up little English bitch." Tommy yelled. I remember Tommy getting free and knocking me down because Nikki just let me go. I remember us literally hitting and wrestling each other in the middle of this set. The screaming and yelling went out the window once he knocked me to the floor.

If you were to watch this like Nikki, Vince, Mick and the set crew was, it would look like a wrestling match really. There was no fist but there was pulling hair, a few pulling on the body piercing, slapping, granting, biting, poking, knocking over stuff and name calling. In the past if we fought it was just name calling, flipping each other off and walking away. This was the first time we really just let each other have it.

To really tell the truth it was about nothing and soon he had pinned me. He was on top of me holding my wrist staring at me. His hair was a mess and he kissed me passionately. My hands pressed on his back and it wasn't really one of our regular kisses. It was one of those mad crazy kisses. It's hard to describe the kiss unless you've had one of those kisses.

I squeezed my legs around his waist biting his lip. He moaned a little and I flipped him off me grabbing his hair. When I sat on top of him still holding his hair, I wanted to pound his head on the floor so bad, but I seen his lip was busted and he was sweating. The guy they called Vince cleared his throat and said, "Will the two of you kiss and make up we are in the middle of filming a video."

I was so close to just kissing him until Vince said something. I slapped Tommy hard across the face and he slapped me, so I punched him and then spit on him standing up. "Pig." That was when I noticed everyone in the room sitting in chairs just watching us. Nikki was sitting there covering his face and when I seen Vince smiling, I punched him, "What the fuck are you looking at bitch?"

I walked out still shacking. I couldn't believe I decked Tommy. I didn't really mean to and I sat on the sidewalk covering my face trying to catch my breath and trying to stop from shacking. I heard Nikki just busted up laughing when Tommy said, "Damn she's got a hell of a right hook. Shut up Sixx. Jazz..." He came out and my hands were shacking so bad. "Baby." He got down on the ground in front of me.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to punch you. I'm not a violent person and I...I've been 'aving horrible thoughts of hurting meself or the girls. What is wrong with me?" I said crying now. "Why are you ashamed to be seen with me?"

"Baby I'm not ashamed to be with you. I just...oh don't cry. Baby please don't cry." He pulled me to him and I just broke down even more. "I love you and I want to protect you and the kids from those heartless bastards that don't care about anything but getting a headline or story. It's normal to feel what you're feeling right now. There's nothing wrong with you. It's not good to hold it all in because when you do one day you'll snap and end up being put in jail like I was. I'm just trying to protect you. I'm sorry that I've let myself get tangled in work lately, but I can't help it. If I'm not doing something I end up feeling the way you are right now. Baby I love you."

"Prove it." He pulled away from me and put his hands on my face and kissed me. I could tell he wanted to pick me up and take me home, but Nikki came out.

"T I hate to break this up but Vince is calling the po-po. You better get in here." Tommy got up and helped me up.

He put a folded-up paper in my hand. "I want you to take this and go for a walk to pull yourself together. When you do that, I want you to read it. I love you Jasmine and I'm only doing this to protect you and our kids. Not just the girls but my boys to. Just remember when I'm home I'm Thomas Lee Bass the man your crazy about but when I'm working, I'm what you see on the TV and stage. It's all an act. A way to express myself and be someone else. Go. I'll see you in a few
days if not sooner."

Nikki pulled on Tommy's arm. I stood there a bit and seen this van come racing up filed with people with cameras hearing the cops in the distant. "Run." Nikki yelled ushering Tommy in the closed set. I took off running. I knew Tommy meant well but I was still hurt that he wouldn't tell anyone about me. I ran for a block down the street and sat to read the note.